Dr. Natalie Mary

21/09/2024

To my trusted Patients,

I'll be taking time off indefinitely to care for my Mother who's had a serious fall this week and needs round the clock care whilst she recovers from a badly broken bone and complicated restrictions from the impact.

I will still be available on messenger for any contact you should need but all sessions are unfortunately cancelled, as I devote my days to my Mum's care and well being.

Thank you for your understanding and patients.

Dr. Natalie Mary

14/09/2024

What is true vulnerability?

Vulnerability is not feeling comfortable enough to share bathroom or bedroom times.... unless they are part of your deepest and darkest fears!

True vulnerability is when we are strong enough in ourselves to share our deepest feelings of fear, without the fear of another's reaction. This fear is wound so tightly around a wound which is buried deep within the body, not mind, but the body for it is the body which stores our deepest wounds. This pain was so hurtful and made you feel so bad, that you created a "protective strategy" to ensure you never ever feel that pain again. It is a wound that you protect with every ounce of your being, like a deep dark secret within you that tells us something awful about ourselves. The wound creates a horrid "core belief" about you which your inner self believes and so you armor with protective strategies that won't let anyone near that core belief.

Protective strategies are a clutch that we hold on to which momentarily bypasses the wound...further ingraining into the body and causing havoc in our emotional system.

Here's a few Protective clutch examples -
I'm feeling sad so if I think positive thoughts the sadness will go away. This is called toxic positivity. A highly destructive mechanism for what you are actually doing is suppressing the sadness further into your body. This can also happen when you share the sadness with a Friend, therapist or healer and they tell you how fabulous you are, giving you only a momentary buzz and ingraining it even deeper.

Other bi-passing methods used to suppress and distract from healthy, yet uncomfortable emotions are
Politically, socially, spiritually, exercise, work, money, possessions, cleaning, addictions such as food, alcohol, drugs, even s*x. Anything you become obsessed with and is an obvious out of balance act in your life usually indicates a clutch to by-pass a painful wound.

Do you keep yourself busy, working, cleaning, socializing, exercising, buying. Are you simply distracting yourself from your own thoughts?

So, what is true vulnerability,
Vulnerability happens when you have dived deep into the body somatically, not the mind, but the body, be curious of that outer sort feeling, find the protective strategy, unravel it, sit with it, process and remove the core belief and integrate, freeing yourself into the arms of beautiful vulnerability!

I am so damn proud of my patients who so bravely jump down that scary rabbit hole trusting the process to find the freedom of their vunerability!

29/04/2024

Here's a quick quiz to help you understand yourself better in relationships.

Q. During conflict, which style best suits you?

Fight - Are you the pursuer, the chaser, the needy, the aggressor, the one who will not give up the fight, the dominant who will continue till you have nothing left in you.

or

Flight - You retreat, withdraw, walk away, shut down, give up, seize, numb, cold responses. check out.

These are your primal responses to threat which derive from childhood coping mechanisms, you may wish to work on these as they will be present in every relationship.

If you ticked - Fight. You fear abandonment and likely had to make alot of noise as a child to be heard by one or both of your caregivers. You will remain in unhealthy relationships for a fear of being alone.

If you ticked - Flight. You fear judgment and rejection and likely ignored as a child by one or both caregivers no matter how much noise you made. You may have a long list of failed relationship or possible single and feel safer that way.

These are generalized pathologies only as each person will have their own story, bruises and cuts to mend.

Dr. Natalie Mary

17/04/2024

Nat's 12 proven practices to implement into yr everyday which will lift your entire being.

Print this off for your Family or Office and watch what happens to that communial place.

1. Breathwork. Breathing is the way your body assesses whether the environment is safe or in threat.
-Inhale 5 seconds Suspend breath 5 sec Slow exhale 8 sec.
If you're Highly stressed - Physiological sigh - deep breath in, then quick short breath in, long exhale out 5 rounds.

2. Upon awakening, no screen time for ½ hr so the brain can optimize all required brainwaves. Make your bed, clean your room instead, productivity releases the happy hormone Dopamine.

3. Exposure to daylight (have breaky or yr coffee outside or through a day lit window) this will activate the circadian rhythm. Your wake -
Day. sleep - night mode. Good night sleep !

4. Humming, chanting (affirmation) singing throughout your day releases good endorphins and strengthens your ability to accept change and new experiences. This is an infectious happy habit spread it around

5. Cold exposure 30 sec cold shower, cold water on legs or arms or face (work up to the whole body) Resets our internal systems bringing balance to the mind and body.

6. Hugs, massage, touch release Oxytocin which is The “I am Loved” hormone. we all need to feel loved.

7. Flow state is the state of being present in the now by focusing on the task at hand. Write, paint, draw, knit. A task you need full concentration on. This is will stop ruminating (being too in your head, over thinking)

8. Exercise and movement of the body, even if you're sitting in a chair. Bring awareness to each body part. Walking, stretching Yoga. Physical activity is essential for the brain and your cognitive function. Will lift your mood, memory, help problem solve and bring emotional balance.

9. Forest Bathing is Grounding or Earthing in Nature. Notice and connect with animals, plants or elements. Lowers stress levels by calming the adrenal glands which essentially release the stress hormone, cortisol.

10. Tapping, Butterfly hug or Head shoulder tap. Please refer to my videos or contact me for more info on Tapping. This practice communicates with the central nervous system and calms your farm.

11. Prayer, Meditation or Journal. Give yourself 5 minutes of your time. Mindfulness practice accepts all the mind has to say. close yr eyes. Allow this space to question, to be curious and accept all feelings and thoughts to emerge. This essentially hears your internal voice and activates processing of the emotional regulation system.

12. Food conscious - what we eat or restrict is what we are. Fasting or high protein in the morning will stop night time cravings. Know your limit of caffeine. No refined sugars. More veggies, fruits, spices and herbs will reduce dangerous inflammation within the body and help protect you against disease.

LOVE YOUR LIFE

Dr. Natalie Mary

11/04/2024

11/04/2024

N° 2. Morning Ritual to adopt into your daily practice which will set the tone for your entire day, improve vitality, flexibility and lift your mood.

" BEND AND STRETCH " reach for the stars !

Implementing basic stretches when you first step out of bed. *permission to p*e first if needed * The act of stretching is actually instinctive however we have suppressed alot of our natural instinctive activity from spending to much time in the head (phones) upon waking which disconnects the awareness from the body.

Quick and basic stretches bring forth an energetic communication between you and your body. Stimulates the vagus nerve which is the central nerve connector from the brain to the body and brings harmonious balance to the workings of you as a whole. It is like a "morning hello" to each cell of your being. Validating them and making them feel worthy and needed. Stretching boosts your motivation level for the day. Improves mobility, increases flexibility and entices vitality. So bring focus to each body part, move it and connect then ...

LOVE YOUR LIFE.

Dr. Natalie Mary ❤

08/04/2024

This week my tips and exercises will be based on your morning rituals and how you can easily implement practices to increase your spark of life ❤

*Your morning sets the mind tone for your entire day. Say that again and remember it !!!!

*Upon Wake - Do not immediately scroll your phone !!! It's hard not too. An addiction most now have but it actually damages the brain processing system and causes low mood and behavioural changes.

Why -
You are interferring with crucial natural steps of the brain which coerce the brain to skip from Delta wave (sleep) straight to beta (high stimulant active wave) Bi passing vitally important brainwaves steps of Alpha and Theta, which will set you up for negative side effects on your motivation and progression throughout your day.

INSTEAD, "Make your bed ❤ Don't leave your room till it is made. A bonus to do a tidy up too.

Productivity releases the hormone Dopemine. Dopemine is the reward ñ pleasure hormone. When released gives us an inner feeling of achievement which is vital for progress in our day and a sense of "I can do' motive.

Make that simple change and watch your moid increase.

❤Dr. Natalie Mary

07/04/2024

The last month has been a stressful one for me with the shock of loosing Molly and Mum then becoming physically unwell in her grief. As a result I've noticed my own body has become out of balance with the old protective responce of "fight n flight' mode trying to dominate position.

We are all human, no one is immune to these natural responces to stress and all will have varying degrees of irregulated systems from time to time however if the stress becomes constant and we dont have a balance of rest and digest, the sympathetic nervous system releases the hormone cortisol for it has perceived the current enviroment as a threat and needs you to remain actively alert.

This enduces feelings of anxiety, jumpiness, bouts of rapid leg movement, gut issues (vagus nerve) overeating or undereating, sleepless nights, paralysed & exhaustion, snappy & angry, stimmimg like skin picking, nail biting, hair pulling or twirling. Lapses in sp*ech, focus and concentration or the flight responce which doesnt allow you to stop cleaning, filing yr calendar, over socialing or under, over exercising, shopping, addictions to phone, s*x, alcohol, gambling, dependants - all means for the body to release the chemical dopemine, the pleasure hormone.

For the next month I will walking my talk and undertaking a strict routine of exercises, practices and advice I regularly give to help my clients who present with dysregulated systems.

So watch this space for these exercises, practices, tips and my personal results.

18/03/2024

My Soul and my Human pain talked today and this is what came out of their mouths...

H : Death is cruel. As as spiritual adviser I will say that outloud and never deny that. Death is cruel and comes with Denial, Trauma, Questions, Blankness, Blame, Anger, Guilt and Pain.

S : Where there is love, there is pain.

H : The pain squeezes your heart in a fist grip intermittedly, before releasing a gush of disagreeable feelings which suffocates you then out flows the warm flood of tears, the clear blood of pain, water of a broken heart. The choking disburbance in your throat. It's a horrid feeling and one you just want to run away from. As a Teacher that helps people process and understand emotions, I know the importance of not using distractional methods to avoid these revolting feelings. Do not think of someone elses worse pain to try and diminish yours or allow someone else to try and lighten yr load with practicality or logic, the heart works differently from the brain. Stay in your heart. Don't use the T.V, phone, work, exercise, play, humor, schedule, diary to avoid your feelings. Stop the clock, just stop the feckin clock and be in the loving pain of your grief !!!
Honour it, them, yourself and the love you shared, sink into the drowning sorrow, allow the howl of NO ! This is your space of love so be consumed by stopping !!!

S : No matter how much awareness you have of afterlife and consciousness of the Souls continuing journey, we must not use this knowledge to bi pass grief of a loved one. We are here to experience our human side by feeling our human self - this is the purpose of life.

H : Thursday, i woke to a Gunshot, my heart was pounding in my chest as i heard it so clearly like it was in my house, in me, in my heart. No one budged, no one else heard it. To me, it was so real i couldnt believe no else could. I shared the experience with a couple of friends trying to make sense of this very real sound, fright and my hearts pound. That day I saw two Kookaburras in strange spots looking at me. I said to Grant that night, there's going to be a death, I know what the kookaburra comes to prepare me, for in my 55 years ive observed, witnessed and understood the signs from life. He laughed, it's a couple of kookaburras and a bad dream Nat.... 3 days later Molly passes unexpectedly, Grant no longer laughs the skeptic laugh but cries for my Mum. My beautiful Mum is left suffering yet another death of another loved one, so many in three years it's hard not to question God why ? I must remain authentic and intimate with God even if that means questioning him. I plead, can Mum just have space to breathe dear God. I Instruct, you're moving to fast dear God. So many in this short time how can her beautuful heart endure anymore at this hour of her life. She is older now has worked hard to trust in you whilst bearing much pain and suffering. I demand, Ni more dear God !

S : The Earth and its living beings work in conjuction with us, we don't consciously know we are all working similtanuously together but i have come to learn we are and all working together in the right and the wrong places at always the right time, the scheduled time, the already planned time to deliver signs of preparation, signs of life after death and all the signs in between if we allow that space to observe, to wonder, to trust when they are delivered, for they're delivered anyway you just have to see the miraculous signs of soul.

H : Death is cruel. I haven't yet worked out why God gives us someone to love so deeply then takes them away to hurt so badly. Death

Soul & Human
Natalie

Please note I welcome differing opinions on my page, as I strongly believe its how we all evolve however please remain respectful to others and openess in your discussions 🙏 Agression of any kind will not be tolerated.

09/03/2024

You cannot run from your ego for it's an attached backpack to life.

Your shadow self serves great purpose.

For inside your bag of ego contains all the lessons and growth you have packed for this journey of life.

So befriend yr wrongs as much as you befriend your rights. Do not ignore your weaknesses, the not so nice parts of you, the fragments you've deem unacceptable. We all have within the wee rule breaker, the boundary stepper, the slice of naughty, a projector. The masks of anger, jealousy, sadness, rage, savagery, judgements, hierachy. These parts of you are not negative nor shameful, they are a vitally important part of our Human psyche and the source to which we evolve.

You cannot run from those aspects you do not like to acknowledge, for they are faster than you. You cannot hide, suppress or ignore the wedges you pretend not to have, as these characters are in built with motive and have grounds and cause. They are determined and relentless until you surrender to self and sit with your shadow. Ask them why they are here and what they do for you, then hold their shakin hand, tell them not to be afraid to show themselves for these wounds of you, just need a little attention to heal.

You are here to fix the broken parts of you not glorify the unbroken parts and if you're glorifying, then your bag of ego is wide open exposing the part you need to work on.

By the end of your life your bag of ego should be near empty and your soul glowing it in growth of lessons you weren't afraid to have !

Dr. Natalie Mary

28/02/2024

Not all cries for help sound like 'HELP'.

Your loved one 'destructive patterns' is another way of calling out for help. They are calling out to the ones that love them.

This is where the Spiritual side of self steps in, pushes our own reactions to one side and sits with our loved ones wounds.

It is a challenge not to react - you are Human.
It is a skill to be learnt - you are Mind.
It is a food for your soul - you are Spirit.

We all have three aspects to self. Mind, Body, Spirit. When we neglect exercising any of these three, we then suffer.

The skill to see ones wound before it adheres to your reactive system takes practice. It swims in the 'uncomfortable equals growth' pool. This exercise brings evolution to yourself. Protects you from your own reactions. Accompanies your loved one to their wounds reassuring them they're not alone. Both of you Grow.

Spirit has the power to rise above hurt.
Love has the power to heal.

Once this practice is achieved it is the greatest interpersonal skill you will acquire.

Dr. Natalie Mary

We are a Holy Trinty of Body, Mind, Soul. If we neglect exercising one, we suffer.

Dr. Natalie Mary

27/02/2024

Part 2. How to Trust again after a bout of social isolation

Recapp part 1.
We are all born with two fundamentals
1. 'Safety" which ensures survival and 'risk taking' ensuring growth. When one is suffering social isolation, safety has been activated and is dominant.
To counteract this, we must use our other fundamental which is 'risk taking' to reinstate balance so we can connect, thrive and grow.

Remember to be gentle on yourself. It takes time and time is on your side. Everyones Trauma and pathology is different so do not compare or be pressured by someone elses experience. This time is yours, and only yours.

Bringing forth awareness of another living element stops the focus of flight and fight, rumernating and the crazed over thinking which is the cause of isolation and social anxiety. Below are some beautiful step by step connection exercises which falls into Risk taking and growth. These exercises will bring you into a state of now which is called flow-state.

Here' how

Schedule daily connection. Journal your experienxe.

Extreme Isolation/PTSD - Start with connection to the Elements and build to the following steps.

Step 1 - Element 🌞
The Sun, moon, sky, clouds, rain, wind, Sea, Thunder, lightening, Earth. Interact with an element. Watch it's movement, understand its purpose, feel how it makes you feel. Connect with yourself connecting with that element and just be present in what it offers. Close ur eyes - feel the interpersonal connection, the feeling of you and it only. Close ur eyes for as long as you can, long exhales out through the mouth (this activates the parasympathetic calming system) You are building Trust and bringing balance. Write about your experience in your journal.

Step 2 - Plant 🎄
Move next to plant. Either buy a plant, nurture and connect or find an outside tree or shrub. Build awareness to this Plant. It's features, colours, texture..It's movement, plants move or shake spasmotically. Has it a purpose ? Does it bring shade or protection. Is it a home for wildlife or bear fruit. Its purpose is survive and grow. Run your hand down its trunk or branches, feel its leaves. Close ur eyes, long exhales through the mouth - you are building trust and balance. Write about yr experience in your journal.

Step 3 - Insect 🦗
Watch an insect go about its day. They are everywhere. A butterfly, a worm, an ant. Insects run of instinct, many work alone. Look at its shape, its characteristics like it tiny legs or eyes or wings. Feel its determination, its motive. Once you watched enough. Close your eyes. Long exhales Picture the insect, stay present. You are building trust and balance. Journal your experience.

Step 4 - Animal 🐦
Whether a domestic or wild. Watch it's motion or gesture. Is it flight or stationed. Its colours and shape. Can you connect with its eyes or sound. Can you feel an intend or reason for being there. Does it have family members around it or riding solo. Close yr eyes, pictures todays animal. Long exhale. You are building trust through comnection balance to your brain systems. Journal your experience.

Step 5 - People 👫
Start with a text to a trusted person, me if want, but don't stop there, progress to a call. Next step. Explain to the trusted person you just need to be present, no expections of talk or of time. During this time build awareness by observing them, just as you did in prior steps, their clothes, their gestures, their stance, their smell, talk when comfortable. Close yr eyes, long exhale out. Trust has just started to develop. Journal your exoerience and schedule the next one, changing enviroment.

Kerp building on the blocks, ensuring connection daily.

PTSD or severe social anxiety should be done in conjuction with detrauma somatic Therapy.

Dr. Natalie Mary *just call me Nat