11/05/2025
Knowing whether behaviours are part of childhood development or signs of a mental health concern can be a challenge.
Good news: Asking children about their mental wellbeing won’t cause a problem. “Don’t ignore it. You may not be right. It is better to err on expressing your concerns to a kid who isn’t having concerns,” says parenting expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa. “The first part of resilience in mental health is being able to talk about it.”
She notes that dramatic shifts in behaviour could indicate a problem. Changes to look out for include:
💚 Loss of interest in things they once enjoyed
💚 Changes in eating or sleeping habits
💚 Avoidance of friends
💚 New behaviours
💚 Isolation
Gilboa shares how parents can talk to their children about their wellbeing age by age.
• Preschool to Kindergarten: 4 to 6—
Parents of young children should help them identify feelings. Researchers indicate that children learn emotions like they learn colours or shapes. If parents teach them the words for 30 different feelings, they learn nuances.
• Grade School: 7 to 10–
Parents still should ask about feelings and forget about labels to conditions, such as depression or anxiety. If children struggle to explain how they are feeling, parents can ask their children to tell them a story. That way they feel it's safe to open up. Parents can also play a game with their children every night. Each family member lists their high and low of their day. “A high gets you a whole story and a low gets a whole other story,” Gilboa said. This shows children that: “I am the person you bring the hard stuff to and I am the person you bring the good stuff to.”
• Middle School: 11 to 14–
Parents can say ‘Have you ever heard the term depression? In what context and what do you understand it to mean?’” You can say, ‘Do you ever experience that yourself?’ Try saying: “I am asking you this because I see you; I love you; you’re very important to me.” Middle school students often lack self-confidence and need such reassurances.
• High School: 14 to 18–
By high school, teens are trying to figure out how they can talk to their parents about mental wellbeing. Parents can ask if their teens are worried about someone else or themselves. Give them some autonomy of when and where and how you can approach it to make it more successful. While some teens will talk to their parents, other might feel comfortable talking to another adult.
✨ Want to read more about building emotional resilience in you and your children? Check out our blog article here: https://neuro.now/lived_experience/building-emotional-resilience-in-parents-and-children/
References:
https://familyminded.com/s/talk-kids-suicide-tips-74690eb0f5f945b7
https://www.today.com/parents/how-talk-children-about-their-mental-health-t163358?fbclid=IwY2xjawHKUhFleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHaF3eiSQLIVuAuaQV-pYJSsxnLSoJkLm3Ub7cuVW3adpFEg609pprcrqVA_aem_LqYkour7gweLEZM1PDB28w
https://www.aol.com/3-ways-parents-help-kids-003321351.html #!