18/09/2025
❌ Why Raging Against Your Body Never Works
One of my patients, a woman in her postmenopausal years, has always been slim. But in recent years she’s noticed the weight creeping on. Like so many of us, her first instinct was to go back to what we’ve been told for decades: eat less and move more.
She cut her calories drastically. She exercised harder. She tracked everything.
And after six weeks? She’d gained 500 grams.
Not much—but for her, it was devastating. She was frustrated, angry, even resentful toward her own body. She kept asking: “Why can’t I lose this weight?”
The truth?
It wasn’t about food or exercise at all.
It was about stress.
👉 This woman is carrying financial worries, family pressures, work demands, long hours, and exhaustion. And when we looked deeper, her phone revealed something powerful:
Her heart rate variability (HRV)—a measure of how well the nervous system adapts to stress—was consistently in the red zone during the day.
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What is HRV and why does it matter?
• HRV = Heart Rate Variability. It measures the tiny differences in time between each heartbeat.
• A high HRV suggests your body is adaptable, resilient, and able to switch between stress (sympathetic) and recovery (parasympathetic) modes.
• A low HRV suggests your body is stuck in stress mode, with higher sympathetic activation. This keeps cortisol and insulin elevated—making fat loss almost impossible.
• HRV naturally declines with age, so your numbers are unique to you. Don’t compare with others; instead, track your own baseline and trends.
• Best time to measure HRV? First thing in the morning, before the stresses of the day kick in. Daytime levels are often unreliable because they fluctuate with every email, traffic jam, or tough conversation.
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The bigger lesson
If your body believes it is under constant threat, it will not release fat. It will hold on tightly to energy stores for survival.
This isn’t your body “failing you.” It’s your body protecting you.
The real work here isn’t another diet. It’s not another exercise class.
It’s the deeper, harder work of listening to your body, respecting its signals, and finding ways to reassure your nervous system:
✔ Better sleep
✔ Reducing overwhelm where possible
✔ Breathwork, meditation, or restorative movement
✔ Professional support when needed
And perhaps most importantly: compassion and kindness towards yourself and your body will go a long way.
Raging against it only worsens the problem—because those negative, self-critical thoughts create even more stress and signal further “threat” to the body.
And here’s the key truth: this is not a medical problem that a doctor can fix.
A doctor may help shine a light on what’s happening and point the way forward. But the real work—listening to your body’s signals, practicing self-care, and lowering your stress load—must be done by you.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do for our health is to stop fighting—and start partnering—with our bodies.
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💬 Have you noticed how stress, frustration, or self-criticism affects your weight, energy, or cravings?
I’d love to hear your experiences below.
