20/04/2025
Ever had a reaction during intimacy that felt “too much” for what was happening?
You freeze
You shut down
You feel overwhelmed by panic, rage, shame - or nothing at all
And later, you wonder - what just happened?
This is often how unresolved trauma shows up in s*x and relationships
It’s not an overreaction
It’s protection — a response your body learned to survive love 💕
When an experience is too overwhelming, your brain often doesn't store it as an integrated memory 🧠
Instead of a coherent story, it becomes fragmented—lodged in survival centres of the brain
So it resurfaces later, not just as memories, but as reactions - especially in moments of closeness
In s*x and relationships, trauma often shows up as physical responses:
Hyperarousal (on edge, hyper-alert):🏃🏻♀️
• Racing heart during intimacy
• Shallow breathing or trouble staying present
• Heightened sensitivity to touch or sound
• Urgency to act, fix, or leave — even when things seem “fine”
• Tension in the body (e.g. clenching, bracing)
Hypoarousal (shut down, numb): 😪
• Collapsed or frozen posture
• Disconnection or numbness during s*x
• Feeling checked out, spaced out, or “not there”
• Going through the motions without sensation
• Trouble expressing needs, wants, or boundaries
These aren’t in your head
They’re real signals from a system still wired for protection
Because trauma isn’t just about what happened —
It’s about how your nervous system learned to survive it
And those patterns can stay active, long after the danger is gone
You can love someone deeply,
and still feel unsafe in your body
You can want s*x
and still shut down when it begins
That’s why healing isn’t just about talking — it’s about working with the body
This might include:
• Learning your nervous system’s patterns in intimacy
• Regulating stress responses through body-based practices
• Rebuilding a felt sense of safety through breathwork, touch, movement, and co-regulation
• Reclaiming agency, pleasure, and connection — slowly, gently, and on your terms
Your body isn’t broken
It adapted
And with the right support, it can learn something new
💕 Sage
