12/04/2018
⚠️ Content Warning: ableist language, sexism, homophobia
Actual things strangers (read: cishet able-bodied people) have said to my actual face in the last 2 weeks:
💭
Outside a restaurant
Stranger 1: nice tattoos.
Me: thanks.
Stranger 1 (to my friend): are you her carer?
Friend: no, I’m Ruby’s friend.
Stranger 1 (to my other friend): what charity do you work for?
Friend: I don’t work for a charity, I’m out with my mates. Bye!
Stranger 1 (yelling as we walk away): I don’t believe that for a second!
💭
At the pub
Stranger 2: *attempts to high five me*
Me: why?
Stranger 2: well what other guy has come up to talk to you tonight?
Me: excuse me? What makes you think I’m interested?
Stranger 2: what?
Me: what makes you think I’m interested in male attention?
Stranger 2: oh, well even though I’m against g**s, I can easily find a chick for you.
Me: I don’t need your help thanks.
💭
In the supermarket
Stranger 3: my mum was in a wheelchair at the end of her life, so I understand the problems you face.
Me: okay.
💭
Crossing the road
Stranger 4 (to their child/grandchild): oooh, look at this fast car!
I receive at least one comment along these lines every time I go out. Every. Single. Time.
Is it honestly too much for me to ask for an enjoyable night out with my friends without able-bodied people having something to say about it?
For a quiet shopping trip without able-bodied people offering help, jokes or prayers?
For a pleasant walk down the street?
For a drink at the pub?
For a visit to the art gallery?
For a peaceful existence?
Stop projecting your ableist thoughts, assumptions, questions, humour & attitudes onto me. I am not in any way interested. Your jokes aren’t funny. Your prayers are neither wanted nor needed. I don’t care about the number of disabled people you know, it doesn’t win you a lucky dip of personal information. I reject your sympathy, your condescension, your praise, your condolences, your half smiles, your guilt, & your unsolicited advice & assistance.
There is not a single situation in which disability should cancel out autonomy, consent & respect. Ever.
Stop dehumanising, belittling & infantilising me.
Get out of my personal space.
LET. ME. BE.
