Sage & Sound

Sage & Sound Sage & Sound is a psychology, counselling and personal development business.

How clear are you on what you really want? Most of us have vague goals like 'a better relationship' 'less fear' 'more fr...
03/11/2022

How clear are you on what you really want? Most of us have vague goals like 'a better relationship' 'less fear' 'more friends'.
If you're committed to change, you have to get really specific about what it would look like. The idea is to make it so specific that if someone else came along and read it, they'd be able to tell when you'd reached your goal. Specific goals are things like 'date night once a week', 'able to go to the movies without feeling sick' or '3 friends I can be vulnerable with'.
Once you're this clear, what you need to do to reach your goal will be clearer too. And if it's not, then at least you're in a position where a professional can help you to map out the way.

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31/10/2022

Sometimes it can be hard to say no, even when you want to! You might worry that saying no might upset someone, or that you will come off as rude , but there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first! It's important to know what you want so that you can confidently say no.

1. Never agree to something straight away. You can ‘affirm’ without agreeing to be involved. For example say ‘what a great idea!’ or ‘that’s interesting, that sounds good’.

2. Once you’ve got some time to yourself, revisit the offer or request in your mind and notice how you feel in your body. Do you feel excited and energised, or any combination of flat, sick, unhappy, exhausted?

3. If you feel energised, say yes!

4. If you don’t feel good, consider what would need to change in order for you to feel energised. Do you need more or less time, a different location, fewer people, more money, less responsibility in another way, or some other compensation in order to agree?

5. If you can’t figure out a way to agree that makes you feel excited and energised, then say no.

6. When saying no, don’t offer a specific reason why. Stick to being vague. This is to stop the other person finding a way around your excuse so you’re back to feeling like you have to agree. If you don’t
give a reason, they can’t argue about the reason. Try to avoid saying sorry. They have a right to ask, you have the right to refuse, or ask for changes before you agree.

7. If you’d like to say yes, but under different circumstances, then it’s fine to state that to the person. ‘I’d love to, but I’ll only be able to stay for
two hours’ for example. This can be a great way to start setting boundaries if you really struggle to say no. At least limit your yeses in one way or another so you start the assertiveness process!

You might be heading towards burnout if you're constantly busy, overwhelmed and overthinking. Burnout will leave you fee...
27/10/2022

You might be heading towards burnout if you're constantly busy, overwhelmed and overthinking.
Burnout will leave you feeling emotionally and physically exhausted.

But it can be prevented!! A lot of what contributes to burnout is the way we view work in our minds, as well as the balance between what you ‘have to’ do and what you ‘want to’ do.

Taking some time out to slow down and bring a little more joy into your life can make a big difference!

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Not being perfect isn't failure, it's a fact. Instead of focusing on perfect results, aim to be perfect at continuing to...
24/10/2022

Not being perfect isn't failure, it's a fact. Instead of focusing on perfect results, aim to be perfect at continuing to try, no matter what. Have a flawless record of commitment to improvement and giving it another go.
You'll actually get closer to your ideals this way too! Because you won't waste time feeling bad, you'll be obliged to just keep learning and growing instead!

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20/10/2022

You cannot control want happens in the world around you, but you can control how it affects you internally. Letting go of what you can't control can help you to have greater power over your emotions. Want to embrace your power? Live by this quote!

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17/10/2022

Taking care of your mental health doesn't need to take up lots of your time and energy. Try out these little tips to help boost your mental wellbeing.

While all of these can be helpful, start by focusing on one thing at a time.

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Jeanette Winterson is a great writer. It’s lucky we have great writers in the world because they come up with new ways o...
13/10/2022

Jeanette Winterson is a great writer. It’s lucky we have great writers in the world because they come up with new ways of saying the old messages, and when you find the right words for you, they’ll stick.

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Have there been times in your life when you felt you weren’t acting like your true self? Maybe you were unsure of a situ...
10/10/2022

Have there been times in your life when you felt you weren’t acting like your true self? Maybe you were unsure of a situation or were lacking the confidence to reveal who you truly are.

Whatever your reason, at some point in your life you may have chosen to hide your real self. Personal concealment places us into an emotionally unhealthy cycle. First, we feel unsure of ourselves and this causes us to act even less authentic in the future. We may even begin to wonder, “Who am I?”

Rather than spending time hiding from the world, you’ll flourish by revealing your true self to others. Becoming more authentic in your interactions is definitely possible.

When you offer authenticity to others, it sets a wonderful example for those around you. The more authentic you are, the richer the life you’ll live.

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It’s not a failure, until you give up. And everyone stuffs up sometimes, not just you. So when you hit a block, take a m...
06/10/2022

It’s not a failure, until you give up. And everyone stuffs up sometimes, not just you. So when you hit a block, take a moment to reset, then try again.

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03/10/2022

It’s very common during conflict to want the other person to understand, admit wrong doing, and change their behaviour, but the truth is that we do not have the ability to control how our partner responds!

Remember, this is about revealing yourself to your partner, while being open to learning and discovering yourself. Perfection or zero conflict is not the goal.

The goal is learning how to discuss important issues while holding onto your sense of self and growing closer to your partner. You do not have control over how your partner responds, but you do have the capacity to learn how to value yourself while talking about things that are important to you, and the health of the relationship.

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Empowerment means recognising your personal strengths, and your capacity to take control of your life. You have the righ...
29/09/2022

Empowerment means recognising your personal strengths, and your capacity to take control of your life. You have the right to manage your life, and you are capable of that. That is empowerment.

Of course, not everyone can feel this way, all the time. Two major reasons you can feel powerless are that you’re in circumstances you don’t like, that are out of your control. Or, you may have be a deeply engrained belief from your childhood that keeps you from believing in your abilities. Distinguishing between the two, and recognising what is within your control, is empowering.

Sometimes it doesn’t feel so easy, to switch from being powerless to being empowered. This is where the right therapist can help – letting you speak without being judged, hearing your story, giving you space to make decisions, supporting you in those decisions, will all gradually facilitate the feeling of empowerment and the mindset that goes with.

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26/09/2022

As the saying goes, you are what you eat! These are some foods which have been shown to improve mental health:

The legume and pulses family are an essential (and the most neglected part) of the Mediterranean diet, the diet type that's been found to most reduce symptoms of depression. Easy ways to get more beans and pulses into your diet is by adding brown lentils to a stew, make pea and ham soup, add black beans to tacos and put chickpeas in salads.

Eating oily fish has been well documented as helping brain health and function overall, so it's no surprise they could help with mental health, right? Fish are part of the Mediterranean diet as well as looking good in their own right for improving depression symptoms.

Magnesium rich snacks including dried fruit, seeds, almonds and dark chocolate (yum!) are good for reducing anxiety, stress and depression. Correcting magnesium deficits can alleviate depression and may help you feel less anxious. Magnesium boosts immune functioning too, which is lowered by too much stress.

Turmeric is an anti-inflammatory, and reducing inflammation in the digestive system is looking like part of the key to treating depression. Turmeric’s a mild, vaguely curry-like spice, so it’s an easy addition for a spice rub that you can then use to coat anything from lamb to tofu in.

Foods like miso, sauerkraut, kimchi ands kombucha contain probiotics generated as part of the fermenting process. Probiotics help improve gut health, which is increasingly linked to good mental health. Happy insides, happy mind.

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2/211 Logan Road
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4102

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