Alicia Falzon Counselling

25/12/2022

This is another image by Anna Maria Maiolino. Sometimes relationships are like walking on egg shells. There are no courageous conversations.

25/12/2022

This is a photo of Anna Maria Maiolino. She is a contemporary Brazil artist. She takes interpersonal relationships and translates them into images. She places herself between her mother and daughter depicting the thread of life that connects consecutive generations.

23/08/2022

We all know the importance of financial security in retirement but have you ever stopped to think about the importance of psychological retirement? Who hasn't been to a financial advisor to gain insight into how our savings will last our life? But how many of us will seek psychological therapy to map out a framework for the last third of our lives? There are many challenges and changes that come with being retired. At first, life is like a holiday in that you do basically what you want when you want and how you want. Then one day you think, 'is this all there is to life?
There is a sense of being lost and loss and grief. You begin to miss the routine, relationships, and having a purpose and identity that come with a job. Added to this is an increase in divorce, depression, and a decline in both physical and mental capacity.
The next question is how do I make my life meaningful again? This can be trial and error, experimenting, facing disappointment, and failure. If you can persevere with this you will find your purpose in the last third of your life

18/05/2022

17/12/2021

This is a very clear description of what togetherness is like. The challenge this Christmas is to observe how you do togetherness in your family.
By Katleen Smith.

Families vary in how “stuck together” they are. Togetherness is a force compelling us to think, act, and feel like each other. If togetherness is high, you’re more likely to base your decisions on how people will react than what you actually think. The goal becomes keeping the group calm, not doing what you think is right.

Families with high togetherness can seem very tight knit or be very distant because everyone is so sensitive to each other.

It’s amazing how working more on thinking and acting like an individual in your family can improve relationships. You can be close with family without feeling over-responsible for people’s anxiety. Read more about family togetherness over the holidays in my latest newsletter: https://lnkd.in/gdn6vgRF

No alternative text description for this image
Activate to view larger image
like
9
Vincent Fitzgerald, LCSW, CFRC and 8 others

De-blobbing yourself from your family's holiday patterns.

17/05/2021

'Increased fusion in relationships means that being close as a group, thinking the same, and agreeing with one another has more influence in the relationship than one's own thoughts and self-direction. As fusion increases, anxiety-driven feelings overwhelm our ability to think.
Kerr, 2019

19/12/2020

I was thinking about all my family coming together for Christmas and how the individual personalities and dynamics might rub against each other. I noticed myself focusing more on this than the real reason that we are coming together. This then meant that my narrow focus was projected towards my nuclear family. I realised that I was trying to control those around me to do what I wanted them to do because in my mind it was the right thing to do. I may have got what I wanted but the tension this created between these relationships was not what I bargained for. In fact, the distance, anger, and resentment on all sides were growing deeper. No one was really happy. I came to the conclusion that I only had the power to change myself. Initially, this challenge seemed unfair and of course, this was my right to want those living with me to do what I wanted them to do or to support me. it was only when I took up the challenge to change me that things got better, my anger and anxiety gave way to peace in my life. I am remembering this challenge and hoping to carry this on during the busy period when I will celebrate the birth of Jesus with my family.
The words below from Kathleen Smith cement what I want to work towards.

You take the time to define what you really value.
• You share your thinking without trying to manage the
reaction.
• You work on managing your own reactivity around anxious
people.
• You take time to access your own thinking before polling
others.
• You focus on managing your anxiety while relating to your
children.
• You generate your own objective, flexible, and attainable
definitions of success.
• You take time to gather facts when you feel distressed.
• You try to evaluate yourself more objectively.
• You ask people what they are thinking rather than guessing.
• You define how you want to respond to big issues and
events.
• You share important information with family members.
• You work on your own maturity rather than forcing maturity
on others.
• You try to calm yourself down before sharing challenges
with others.
• You focus on how you want to respond to challenging family
members.
• You use your own principles to guide your actions.
• You let others be responsible for themselves.
• You treat rejection and disappointment like they are
manageable.
• You share your thinking with friends, even when they may
disagree.
• You focus on managing your own anxiety instead of
managing others.
• You accept the reality that some anxiety is the price of
growing up, of living a life driven by your own thinking and
beliefs.

10/09/2020

Have you ever?