Spilt Milk Psychology

Spilt Milk Psychology Spilt Milk Psychology is run by Amanda Connell (Clinical Psychologist) Amanda passionately believes there is enough love for everyone.

Amanda Donnet is a Brisbane based clinical psychologist who founded Spilt Milk Psychology in 2016 with one goal - to start a revolution. For too long, discussions around parental mental health have pitted parents against their children in the battle for happiness. With a strong online presence and large following among both parents and professionals, Spilt Milk Psychology is redefining the way that parents access high quality, professional information and support in the modern world. Amanda champions the mother-baby dyad, bringing fierce compassion to the intersection of infant feeding, mental health and early parenting. Her human-centred approach empowers families by providing insightful, practical, and relatable information and support. A self-confessed clever-clogs, Amanda also wants to challenge the patriarchal idea that parents are stupid. She believes that parents should be respected as capable, wise and courageous, and deserve access to intelligent, evidence-based support. But she also knows that often this information is couched in w***y, academic terms, making it indecipherable to society at large. Amanda delights in translating the complexities of academic rhetoric into insightful, accessible and relateable content without ever making people feel like she is talking down to them. Not one to shy away from difficult topics, Amanda is a sought after speaker on topics including maternal rage, breastfeeding difficulties, thoughts of harm, and suicidality in the perinatal context.

As we celebrate International Women's Day, I want to reflect on the profound connection between perinatal psychology and...
08/03/2024

As we celebrate International Women's Day, I want to reflect on the profound connection between perinatal psychology and feminism. In my work as a perinatal clinical psychologist, I've come to realise that you can't truly support women during their journey to motherhood without embracing feminist principles.

Feminism is not just a theoretical concept; it's a call to action. It's about recognising and dismantling the systemic barriers that women face in accessing quality healthcare, making informed choices, and experiencing respectful maternity care. It's about advocating for women's rights to autonomy, agency, and dignity throughout the perinatal period.

I was in my car on the way to an IWD lunch today and was listening to Teardrop by Massive Attack (showing my age)…"Love, love is a verb. Love is a doing word."

Love (in this context probably better defined as compassionate care) is not passive; it's active. It's about showing up for women in tangible ways – listening to their stories, validating their experiences, and advocating for their rights. It's about embodying love through our actions, not just our words.

As psychologists, we have a unique opportunity to practice love as a verb every day. It's the moments when we sit and hold space for a grieving mother. It’s the forensic assessments we conduct to legitimise boundaries and quantify the impact of family violence. It's in meetings when we advocate for policies that prioritize maternal mental health and well-being. It's when we challenge societal norms that undermine women's autonomy and agency. It’s in the research we conduct to tell the stories historically unspoken.

This International Women's Day, let's commit to practicing love as a verb in our work and beyond. Let's challenge ourselves to actively support women, advocate for their rights, and work towards a more just and equitable world for all. Happy International Women's Day!

I have current immediate availability for Telehealth appointments. My website is currently under maintenance, but appoin...
29/02/2024

I have current immediate availability for Telehealth appointments. My website is currently under maintenance, but appointments can be booked by emailing my admin at admin@spiltmilkpsych.com or calling 07 31350923.

It’s interesting how your perspective on things changes with time. The cognitive model, which is at the heart of CBT, ex...
18/01/2024

It’s interesting how your perspective on things changes with time.

The cognitive model, which is at the heart of CBT, explains that our emotional state is often less about what’s happening and more about the meaning we make of it.

I noticed last night that my fingernails are getting long. And felt a pang of sadness.

When I was a teenager, I used to envy women with long fingernails. Mine have always been short. As well as representing elegance and femininity, it weirdly felt like an achievement to have long nails. To successfully avoid “breaking” a nail. Even more broadly culturally, polished nails represent polished women. And manicures are often touted as self-care and “looking after yourself”.

But these days I find comfort and practicality in my short nails. The things I do that are my ACTUAL self-care are way easier with short nails. I keep them short so I can play my ukulele more easily. So I don’t get dough stuck under them when I bake. So I can clean them more easily when I’m digging in the dirt in the garden or the sand at the beach.

So when I noticed my nails are getting long, I felt sad. They are like this because I’ve been sick since before Christmas (nothing serious just a respiratory virus). When I look at my nails they are a visual reminder of all that I’ve not done. The unplayed songs. The unbaked bread. The missing sandcastles. A silent testament to the period of stillness forced upon me by illness.

So now that I am feeling better, the real accomplishment is going to be clipping them off and digging back into life!

Is there anything you can think of where you’ve had a perspective shift over time?

Optus outage - I do not have mobile phone service but do still have internet access and appointments will be going ahead...
08/11/2023

Optus outage - I do not have mobile phone service but do still have internet access and appointments will be going ahead as scheduled. But I understand many clients may be impacted and unable to advise of non-attendance today.

Don’t panic! If you are unable to attend and can’t let me know, I will be waiving any cancellation fees for the duration of the outage.

11/09/2023

This video about how to lay a baby down without triggering their startle reflex was the first video I posted on Spilt Milk Psychology, 7 years ago!

Though lots of things have changed since then, Spilt Milk is still committed to providing evidence-based, practical and relatable tips to help you navigate the challenges of early parenting.

Have you seen this video before? Do you have any other “simple tips” that changed how you do something as a parent?

My baby is growing up! Can you believe that Spilt Milk Psychology will soon be turning SEVEN?! And like all babies, they...
05/09/2023

My baby is growing up! Can you believe that Spilt Milk Psychology will soon be turning SEVEN?!

And like all babies, they change as they grow!

You’ll notice over coming weeks that I am rolling out a little brand update for Spilt Milk Psychology.

There’s been a few changes happening behind the scenes too…

🥛 a new website is on its way
🥛 I have an amazing new admin assistant (Serenna)
🥛new online portal for online courses and professional training coming soon.

But don’t worry, even with a slick new look, I’m still the same compassionate, irreverent, imperfect human. Bumbling along in this online world.

Do you remember Spilt Milk Psychology in the early days? Or have you only just found us?

Double decker train time! I’m on the move today. ✈️ Who knows where I am? And where I might be off to?
27/05/2023

Double decker train time!

I’m on the move today. ✈️

Who knows where I am?

And where I might be off to?

I received a lovely Mother’s Day gift today - a jar of all my “qualities”.It’s always interesting to see the way your ki...
14/05/2023

I received a lovely Mother’s Day gift today - a jar of all my “qualities”.

It’s always interesting to see the way your kids see you and I’m so glad that the qualities he named resonate so much with my own personal core values - playful and fun, but also honest and trustworthy, friendly understanding and gentle, mindful and patient and of course… clam.

Keep clam and carry on.

Happy International Day of the Midwife! Today, we celebrate the amazing work that midwives do to support women and famil...
05/05/2023

Happy International Day of the Midwife! Today, we celebrate the amazing work that midwives do to support women and families during pregnancy, birth, and beyond.

Midwives are an essential part of the perinatal care team, providing holistic and personalized care that is focused on the physical, emotional, and social wellbeing of mothers and babies. They are experts in supporting normal birth and promoting breastfeeding, and work to ensure that women feel empowered and informed throughout the entire birthing process.

In addition to providing excellent clinical care, midwives are also skilled at building trusting relationships with their clients. They take the time to listen to women's concerns and questions, and provide education and support to help women make informed decisions about their care.

Did you know that midwifery-led care is associated with better mental health outcomes for women? Research shows women who receive care from midwives report feeling more in control of their pregnancy and birth, have lower rates of interventions like C-sections, and experience less postpartum depression and anxiety.

We are so grateful for the hard work and dedication of midwives all around the world. Thank you for all that you do to support women and families during this special time!

Happy Maternal Mental Health Day! This year's theme, "Stronger Together," reminds us of the importance of connection and...
03/05/2023

Happy Maternal Mental Health Day! This year's theme, "Stronger Together," reminds us of the importance of connection and community in navigating the ups and downs of motherhood.

Although I am clinical psychologist, “clinical” is the last way I want my sessions to feel. I reject the idea that I should be a blank canvas or a mirror for my clients. I believe that therapy is a collaborative process, and that I should be fully present and engaged in the room with my clients. When a mother seeks help for mental health concerns, she deserves to be met with empathy, validation, and a real person in the room with her.

I will be there to listen, to validate, to challenge, and to support you. I will bring my whole self to the session, and I hope that you will too.

I understand that therapy can be intimidating, and that it can be difficult to open up to a stranger. That's why I strive to create a safe, non-judgmental space where you can feel comfortable being yourself.

Motherhood can be a challenging, overwhelming, and isolating experience. But it doesn't have to be that way. When we come together as a community, when we seek out support and validation, we become stronger.

Together, we can break down the stigma surrounding maternal mental health and create a society where all mothers feel seen, heard, and supported.

So that’s my commitment to you this Maternal Mental Health Day. If you show up to therapy, I will show up too. Because we are “stronger together”.

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Brisbane, QLD

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Welcome to Spilt Milk Psychology

Amanda Donnet is a Brisbane based clinical psychologist who founded Spilt Milk Psychology in 2016 with one goal - to start a revolution. For too long, discussions around parental mental health have pitted parents against their children in the battle for happiness. Amanda passionately believes there is enough love for everyone.

With a strong online presence and large following among both parents and professionals, Spilt Milk Psychology is redefining the way that parents access high quality, professional information and support in the modern world.

Amanda champions the mother-baby dyad, bringing fierce compassion to the intersection of infant feeding, mental health and early parenting. Her human-centred approach empowers families by providing insightful, practical, and relatable information and support.

A self-confessed clever-clogs with an embarassment of qualifications, Amanda also wants to challenge the idea that parents are stupid. She believes that parents should be respected as capable, wise and courageous, and deserve access to intelligent, evidence-based support. But she also knows that often this information is couched in w***y, academic terms. Amanda delights in translating the complexities of academic rhetoric into digestible, accessible and relateable content without ever making people feel like she is talking down to them.