29/01/2026
I didn’t stop there…
Because not only did I want a relationship where a man knew when I felt hurt and disconnected
I wanted one where he initiated repair sometimes too
And for that to become possible, I had to feel safe enough to sit in the discomfort of waiting
Not waiting in silence or punishment – but in trust
Trusting that a man’s pace doesn’t mean he cares less
That just because I process quickly doesn’t mean he should too
That depth looks different in his nervous system
and if I want him to meet me there,
I have to give him the space to arrive in his own time.
This changed everything in how I receive love
It required me to see that the urgency I felt to reconnect after conflict wasn’t clarity.
It was survival mode.
It was my inner child –
the part of me who learnt that love could be lost if people were disappointed in her
Or that she’d be left all alone when perceived as difficult, inconvenient or too much.
And as a grown woman,
it showed up in my nervous system like a race to fix it:
To manage the moment for both of us
To be the one who was understood
To escape the heaviness of feeling unseen or unsure
Even when what I really wanted
was for him to come back to me on his own.
And when I saw it - I felt the relief of it all making sense.
Beautiful woman,
Love gets to feel safe.
Not by “training” him,
But by unravelling the ways you’ve learnt to protect yourself from it.
❤️🔥
