01/05/2018
You And The 'P' Word
Oh wow!!
The dreaded P word that gets in the way of you and your business!!
So, I've had to put a few "Joy Friendly" changes in place so that I could make this business work for me, and what do you know, the feedback that I'm getting from the people is that it's helping them navigate their new path with more ease, grace and flow - basically it's really taking out all the overwhelm that's involved when making change and learning new skills in business!!
Woohoo!! We're on track!!
But now that the final "Joy Friendly" Set Up is done, it's time for me to get back to into practicing what I've been teaching and d'ya know what? Every little thing has come up for me!!
And it really got me thinking how much this pesky little, Not-So-Little Pain in my Assets … impacts people
For starters it might be
"What am I gonna do?”
“How am I gonna do it?"
"Who's gonna pay attention anyway?"
"I really need to organise things better!"
"Actually, I've got to trim my nails that have been driving me nuts for a week!!'
"I've got to go see my sick friend who's just gotten out of hospital after having brain surgery!!"
And yes, ...
Even the bathroom excuses can come up - just like in school before you have to get up and do a speech in front of the whole class?
Yeah, you know that feeling ...
And you know what?
They may ALL be valid!!! They may all be real!!
But WHY do they come up JUST as you're about to sit down and get stuck in?
(Even if you get that far into it!!)
So what is it?
Of course it's procrastination, but it's also something else ...
Something beginning with ... 'P'
(Ok, so I'll stop playing games now :-) )
Have you guessed yet?
It's Pain!! - Or more pointedly, a FEAR of Pain.
And yes, it is something that clearly undermines our best intentions to get stuff done!!
Procrastination is always driven by some degree of Pain in some area of our life, either real or imagined.
Somewhere in the deep dark murky depths of our sub-conscious mind we are faced with something that we don't want to do, for whatever reason.
If ‘The Thing’ we have to do is fun and easy, and providing there's no judgement around what we're doing, why we're doing it, how we're doing it, or who we're doing it with, then usually there is no problem and 'The Thing' gets done - especially if there's a "happily ever after" payoff that suits us for getting stuck into it!!
However, if we were to look at what's BEHIND 'The Thing’ and are willing to explore it, we’ll find that there's usually something uncomfortable about it - and man oh man do us humans hate discomfort!!
(Unless of course you are one of those people who actually LIKE pain and discomfort!! And I think there is a certain word to describe that! :-O )
But generally, most of us don't want to feel pain and/or discomfort.
So let's just look at the types of pain and discomfort it could be …
On some level It's boring to do, it’s beneath us or we think it's a waste of time
It may be that we think we can’t do, we can't do it easily, or that it's stopping us from doing something else that's way more fun or engaging
On some level it may mean we have to be disciplined in some way and this imposes on our freedom
I'm sure there are many other different things that could explain it, but if you dive deeper into the resistance and explore THAT, what else could you discover?
What happens if you were to ask yourself the question
"What does it mean if it actually GETS done??"
It can bring up all manner of stuff!!
Sometimes it could be a fear of success or a fear of failure - though fear of success does sound ludicrous huh? But trust me, some people are definitely afraid of success!!
Feelings of worthiness around even being ABLE to do ’The Thing’, let along do it in meaningful and valuable ways.
Feelings of fear around what people would think, or criticism around how it's done, and even what people would say behind your back, or even do to you physically or on social media - yes, bullying is a real thing that needs to be stopped people!!!
So questions around what would happen if someone challenged you, like how would THAT be handled? Or what would happen if someone got hurt?
And there is just so much more that seriously, you can't even put words to!!
And all of THAT can sit between you and you doing 'The Thing'.
But here's the rub … and ONLY if you allow it ...
TRUE transformation comes BECAUSE you allow all that crap to come to the surface!!
It will also help massively if you also make the decision that DOING 'The Thing' that has held you back is more important than the FEAR of the POSSIBLE Pain that COULD come because you do it.
This way FEAR no longer has the upper hand - you have made it so that ’The Thing' itself is now more important than the POSSIBLE Pain.
You see, the key word in that statement is the word "POSSIBLE"!!
And Pain in THAT moment is only a figment of your imagination.
Has it ACTUALLY happened?
No.
Is it LIKELY to happen?
Probably not.
(Now obviously there can be exceptions to the rule, and this is where you might employ some common sense and sort that mess out so that it doesn’t happen!! But by then, problems usually automatically become solved which allows you to get on and do ’The Thing' anyway!!)
But seriously, there are sooooo many options that COULD happen, so you just have to ask yourself WHY are you choosing it? WHY are you letting POSSIBILITIES hold you back?
What’s the worst that can happen if you actually go and DO ‘The Thing’?
Are you likely to DIE?
Probably not!! And if you are, then I’d probably suggest you have bigger things to think about so that you can get your life back on a healthy track!!!
Now likening it to dying may seem a bit melodramatic, but when we put things in perspective, things are rarely as bad as we think it is, and so by facing our POSSIBLE pain and staring it down, it helps us to calm the farm and breaks down some barriers.
OK, so let’s learn how to move from the FEAR of Pain and turn it into Pleasure, or at least just 'A Thing' that needs to get done, so that we can actually get on and DO it so it doesn’t hold us back any more.
Step 1. The first step is to acknowledge what is actually going on.
Let’s shine the spotlight on Procrastination and instead of letting that parasite disable us any more, let’s just look at it for what it is - Fear of POSSIBLE Pain!! There is no judgement - just acknowledgment that it is there.
Step 2. The next step is to thank it it!!
Yes, you heard me right, Thank it!!
You see when you can see Procrastination for what it is, you take one step closer to being personally empowered, and really, all Procrastination has done is shown you that there is a bit of a hurdle that needs to be looked at and managed.
And really, Procrastination is only like a small child who doesn’t know any better - so would you yell and judge and punish a small child who doesn’t know any better?
A more proactive and gracious way is to thank it for trying to help so that the grown up part of you can sit down and figure out the next step.
So yes, thank it!!
Step 3. Ask the questions “What am I REALLY afraid of here? What is it about this that I really don’t like doing?”
And listen!!!!!
Write everything down on a notepad and just let it flow - don’t try to filter it, don’t try to moderate it, don’t try to justify, condemn or blame it or yourself. Just let it all come out - warts and all.
Step 4. Ask the question “So is there a better way?”
And once again, just listen!!
Just let it flow out of you the same way that all the problems came out.
Little do we know that deep within us, in that exact same space actually, we have all the solutions to the problems we just aired, but sadly most of us only stop at the problems stage!!!
So dare to go to that next step.
It doesn’t mean that YOU have to know the answers, but ideas can come up for where you CAN find those answers.
You can also ask “I know that you don’t know the answer, but if you DID know, what would the answer be?”
THAT is such a powerful question and gets past the most obnoxious conscious mind!!
And once you’ve gotten all that out of you, it’s time for …
Step 5. Simply fill yourself with gratitude and allow all of that to flow away like dust in the wind out to ether - just let it go.
Simply watch as all that self-sabotage BS comes up and blows away ...
Don't try to stop it ...
Don't try to suppress it ...
Don't let it hold you to ransom any more …
And now …
Move on and go do ‘The Thing’ … or at least action the information that make it so that ‘The Thing’ can be done.
And now that we've gotten all that crap out of the way and we realise that we aren't ACTUALLY going to die because of doing 'The Thing', we can ACTUALLY get on and get MORE stuff done that will help us move toward the life of our dreams.
Well, that's what I'm doing, what about you?
Enjoy the Journey!!! 🌺❤️🌺
