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Naturally Nessa, 8 Thougla Place, Buderim (2025)

28/11/2024

RE-PARENTING YOUR INNER CHILD

Re-parenting your inner child means nurturing yourselves the way you had always longed to be parented. We all have that part of us that desires to feel safe, loved, protected, nurtured, and held.

Until we have formed a healthy relationship with our inner child, there will always be that part of us that desires to be acknowledged.

It’s up to your healthy adult to be the one to nurture and re-parent your own inner child.

A very simple technique is:

When you feel into the heaviness that resides in your heart, picture the little girl that the pain belongs to. Invite her to sit with you and let her know she is safe. Shower her with love and kindness, and let her know that you are with her every step of the way.

Allow your heart to overflow into her heart, show her how opening her heart and expressing her feelings will help to release that pain and torment that she is feeling.

Fill the field with peace and love. Show her how peaceful her heart can be once her pain has been witnessed and released.

Let her know that, no matter what happened, it’s safe for that piece of her soul to come back and be whole again.

This incredibly powerful process allows those pieces of your soul, that have fragmented off throughout your childhood, to come back and be re-threaded into who we are today. This, in turn, allows your energy to be fully present now, allowing your energy and soul to expand to your fullest possibilities.

This is something you can do in the comfort of your own home, but, if you feel the memories are too traumatic to open on your own, please reach out for help.

If this has brought up anything for you, and/or if you'd like to discuss further, feel free to book a 1:1 soul chat with me here: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/contact

24/11/2024

LETTING YOUR INNER CHILD KNOW IT’S SAFE TO BE HEARD

When we do unlock our repressed memories, our childhood is usually a very large part of what comes flooding to the surface.

It can be like somebody hit rewind on the movie projector, and we start experiencing our life all over again. Some things we wouldn’t change for the world, they lift our hearts and make us feel safe and loved. Other memories may not be quite as pleasant, and may leave us feeling taunted and alone.

Looking back into our childhood as adults, we realise it’s up to us to heal those parts of us that may still be broken or scarred.

We’re not here to lay blame, or judge anyone for their past actions. We’re simply here to resolve the pain that resides within our body.

By holding on to this pain, we’re allowing our energy to live in the past, which, in turn, is stopping us from being truly present now.

Don’t allow yourself to continue to bypass the pain that, as a child, took a piece of your soul.

Heal that piece of your soul from your childhood. That piece that was crushed, that still manages, as an adult, to trigger you whenever something similar happens.

Allow yourself the time and space now, to go within and hold that little child that longed to be held.

Allow her/him to be heard, to express the hurt that exists. Allow yourself to sit with this pain for as long as that little girl/boy needs. Let that child know that you have all the time in the world, and that you are there completely.

Read the full article over on the website: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/articles/our-soul-needs-to-let-go-and-our-inner-child-is-still-holding-on

20/11/2024

BREAKING DOWN THE WALLS

We all have an inner child that, at one time or another, we’ve forgotten about. It’s that part of us that we don’t really listen to, when we think we’re being too silly or childish (or perhaps that’s what we’ve been told to keep us quiet). We need to acknowledge this part. The only way to do that is by allowing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves to be experienced.

We cannot heal what we don't know. By getting to know your inner child, you can then begin to heal.

We all have to start somewhere, and getting back in touch with the person we are now is the first step. The more we begin to listen to how we are feeling, and what our body is trying to tell us, the safer our inner child will begin to feel.

Slowly, we can start to open that box that we have nailed shut, and we can sit with all the emotions that surface. In the beginning, the more you sit with these feelings, the more that will bubble up. If you’re unsure how to even begin, the art of embodiment is a perfect introduction to get you familiar with your body.

If you feel these emotions and memories are too much to deal with on your own, it is advisable to reach out to a professional. You don’t want to unearth a trillion emotions when you’re not ready; you need to feel held and safe.

I hear all the time, “I couldn’t imagine breaking down those walls or opening that can of worms, I locked that away tight so I wouldn’t have to deal with all that pain.”

The problem with that is that it’s always looming, like that dark corner of your soul that you never want to visit.

You’ve probably heard of the expression, “Dark night of the soul,” and wondered what on earth that relates to. Well, it is very real and something we all must go through, as we heal and release those painful memories.

Facing those uncomfortable and gnarly parts of who we are, or what we may have done or had done to us, is probably the hardest part of opening that box. But the freedom and joy that comes on the other side far outweighs the crap we have to go through to get there. Click the following to try 1 Simple Practise To Connect With Who You Really Are.

Read about my services and work with me here: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/work-with-me

16/11/2024

Even though time moves on and we all grow up, we still have that part of us that feels everything we did as a child.

As children, we learn how to cope with the things that hurt us. We can either try to ignore them and trap them down deep in our belly, or jump up and down and have a tantrum. We unconsciously carry those reactions, and how they made us feel, into our adulthood. These become our adult coping mechanism. Even though, as adults, we may not jump up and down like we did as a child, we still hold the cellular memory deep in our body.

We assume that, because we are now adults, the child part of us is no longer there, but, no matter how old we are or how much work we have done on ourselves, our inner child is usually in control during our most emotional moments.

Our inner child is trying to get our attention to heal. It’s that part of us that longs for attention, love, and validation. No matter how good our childhood was, we all seem to carry trauma trapped in our cells. Of course, our levels of trauma will vary, but it will still leave you feeling the same; lost, alone, unwanted, unworthy, unloved, unheard, and the list goes on.

The burden and scars we each grow up with are usually way too heavy for a child to deal with. And, depending on our parents, it may have just been swept under the rug, in the hopes of being forgotten. I know this feeling all too well. My parents weren’t ones to express their feelings, so it was left up to me to deal with, the best way I knew how.

Unfortunately, though, as we become adults, before we even consider unpacking the abuse, neglect, and feeling unworthy, we leave home and try to find a partner and start a family of our own. We try to create the family we had always desired to be part of.

This is where the cycle begins all over again. We are now adults, living in the adult world, but still carrying all the abuse and unresolved trauma in our cells from our childhood. Every reaction or decision we make has the undertones of our inner child.

How well we parent our own children; how we are in relationships, marriages, friendships; and how we are in society all comes down to how much of our trauma we have cleared from our childhood.

Once we start to have a relationship with our inner child, we can parent our own children better and be better role models for others. By learning to re-parent our inner child, we learn to be less reactive and more proactive in life.

We learn to hold space for others when their inner child is reacting, and we don't take things so personally. By re-parenting our inner child, we begin to understand ourselves in ways we never have before.

Continue reading the full article over on the website: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/articles/our-soul-needs-to-let-go-and-our-inner-child-is-still-holding-on

12/11/2024

HOW DO YOU GROW A CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP?

When two people are truly committed to building a sacred, conscious relationship, what they’re really committing to is an honest, self-loving, and radically authentic relationship with self, as well as their partner.

A truly committed relationship may look magical, but it’s really composed of tiny moments of choice, presenting you with opportunities to tell the truth and live from an open honest space.

Notice as you find the courage to take responsibility.

Choose to feel, rather than go numb.

Choose to communicate about a broken promise, rather than allowing it to brew within.

Choose to support your partner as he or she goes through deep feelings.

Ultimately, once these skills are practiced and internalised, relationships flow effortlessly.

Once your nervous system learns to stay at a higher level of aliveness, and doesn’t need to numb itself by lying, breaking promises, or hiding feelings, the real magic begins to flow.

Our most difficult relationships have the capacity to become our greatest teachers.

With humility and willingness to look deeper, we recognise that the hurt we experience acts as gateways for our own healing.

Healing our relationships can be difficult, but we need to move through the uncomfortableness, and be courageous and compassionate with ourselves.

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean we are responsible for someone else’s actions. It simply means we are willing to own the part of the breakdown that we may have been part of.

It means we no longer choose to operate from a place of blissful ignorance.

We’re finally ready to own our power and integrate our shadow.

One of the first things to do when embarking on this journey, is to look inward and connect to our true feelings.

What’s really behind the defensiveness, avoidance, anxiety, control, jealousy, or anger?

Looking at each of these emotions, and how you feel towards others, gives you a huge insight into your relationship with self.

Keen to dive deeper? Feel free to book a 1:1 soul chat with me here: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/contact

07/11/2024

SO, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO DO CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP WORK?

It’s, first and foremost, developing a deep relationship with self, and becoming friends with our shadow.

We can learn so much about ourselves when we learn to appreciate and love our shadow for the lessons that have come our way.

This may be confronting, but it’s the only true way to understand yourself before you expect someone else to understand you.

So, learn to self-soothe and feel safe in your own body.

Gain tools and awareness to develop emotional intelligence, and practice healthy communication.

Understand how to build healthy boundaries and listen to your body.

Learning to communicate your needs and wants with love.

See conflict as an opportunity and an invitation for growth.

Take your time to look at your relationship patterns and your wiring around love.

It’s a commitment to understanding our own mind, body, and soul. This means we practice taking ownership for our experiences, making self-inquiry, compassion, and acceptance our first response to any discomfort in our lives, rather than looking at someone else as the problem or for them to fix it.

So, hold space for the sadness, grief, insecurity, vulnerability, and unprocessed trauma and pain. These are lower vibrational emotions, so we need to uplift their vibration with love, joy, peace, and acceptance.

Sometimes, we may get stuck on the healing path because it feels like too much. Guilt and shame kick in, and we’d prefer to go back to being blissfully unaware rather than carry the burden of feeling like a failure.

But we’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all hurt and been hurt. We’ve all fallen flat on our faces, lost love, and behaved in ways we’re not proud of. It’s what we do NOW that counts.

Healing takes time.

Don’t beat yourself up for your past mistakes. That’s just another mechanism of the ego to keep you stuck.. True healing is about bringing curiosity and kindness to all of your past selves, and seeking to understand what you were protecting yourself from.

Underneath all of our shields is a deep innocence and vulnerability. This is an invitation for you to go there.

Read the full article on the website: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/articles/our-souls-desire-for-a-conscious-relationship

04/11/2024

SO, WHAT IS A CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP?
Conscious relationships start with a foundation of self-love and acceptance. When we start our journey of healing through conscious relationships, we must remember that it all starts within.

Everything conscious, including our relationships, are a way of being.

It’s our commitment to understanding and discovering our authentic self: our mind, our shadows, our thoughts, and our patterns.

It’s choosing compassion over holding a grudge and resentment.

It’s letting go instead of holding on to our righteousness.

When two people choose to go deep in a relationship, it’s inevitable for our shadow side to rear its head. And, when it does, we get to choose how we show up.

We are invited to be vulnerable when confronted by our fears and triggers. We are asked to drop our walls and defenses, and show our hearts, even when it feels scary and uncomfortable.

We’re invited to show up as whole and complete, and see the same in our partner.

We need to see the relationship itself as a living, breathing entity.

A conscious relationship is a commitment to coming back to love in every moment.

So, it’s crucial to explore the essence of our inner world, before we share the connection in a relationship with someone else.

If we choose to disregard our inner world, we will always see the challenges in our relationships as outside of us. So, by integrating the pieces within first, we allow an ease and flow with our relationship with others.

Understanding how conscious relationships work doesn’t require us to be in a romantic relationship.

As long as we have a commitment and desire to know ourselves, we can begin ‘doing the work’.

We have the power to shift our patterns and how our relationships look, without having to convince anyone outside of us to change or be different. This is where the real shifts begin.

Read about my services and work with me here: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/work-with-me

30/10/2024

I’m always fascinated by where our energy takes us. It’s like our soul takes us by the hand and gently guides us to our next unveiling.

By following the patterns that have unfolded throughout my life, I have been guided to unpack trauma and patterns that have been passed down through my lineage, as well as lessons my soul came here to learn. This has allowed me to discover parts of myself that have been dormant and hiding in the shadows.

Through going within over the last few months, and feeling into my energy, I found my masculine and feminine and my inner child have been trapped in the wounding of the past from when I was a little girl, but it hasn’t only been my wounding, it’s the wounding of many women that walked before me in my lineage.

Whenever we find ourselves confronted with our wounded or unhealthy self, it’s our responsibility to ourselves, our lineage, and those around us to shed a light on it.

It doesn’t mean beating ourselves up for having a shadow, and judging ourselves for where we’re at in our process, or even for coming from a belief that we’re broken and need to be fixed.

Doing this work is about truly learning to love and accept ourselves, and our differences, in all of our darkness and our light.

WE ARE FULL SPECTRUM BEINGS, AND EVERY PART OF US IS BEAUTIFUL

As we step into truly discovering ourselves, it’s crucial to remember that perfection is not our goal. No relationship is perfect. Even the most ‘conscious’ relationships will present conflict.

When we commit to seeing our patterns and understanding our minds, we often find the perfect people to bring it all to the surface.

Relationships can be our most profound teachers, if we choose partners and friends willing to be allies in our healing.

Continue reading the full article over on the website: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/articles/our-souls-desire-for-a-conscious-relationship

27/10/2024

SEEK HELP IF YOU FEEL YOU MAY HAVE SLIPPED INTO COMPLICATED GRIEF

Complicated grief is a severe and long-lasting form of grief that takes over one’s life. This is very common in the aftermath of abusive relationships because victims never get the validation they wished for, nor do they get a sense of closure.

Following the end of an abusive relationship, a lot is left unfinished, including unsettled disputes, the discrediting of your character, questions unanswered, and unrequited love.

You’re left hanging, unable to complete your relationship with your abuser, and feeling stuck in the pain of your grief.

What makes this type of grief so excruciating is that you must grieve twice – once for the person who love-bombed you, and for whom you fought to bring back amidst soul-shattering abuse, as well as grieving the end of the relationship.

Implementing No Contact in Its True Form

Many victims of narcissistic abuse prolong their suffering by leaving a window open, in the event the narcissist decides to reach out. Across the forums and chat rooms, countless victims describe how they’ve maintained “no contact” for such a long time, but then receive a call or email from their ex. If the narcissist has a way in, then no contact hasn’t been properly executed. This is the primary cause of not being able to heal because, as long as your abuser has a way in, true healing cannot take place.

Once the narcissist successfully reaches out and provokes a response, you’re back in the thick of the abuse. (If children are involved, a very strict plan for modified contact should be legally documented, entered, and enforced).

Remember, narcissists are smug in their belief that you will surrender to their manipulations. Their feelings of entitlement and perceived power reduces your chances of emotional healing after narcissistic abuse.

Stop Researching Narcissism

During the phase of discovery, educating yourself about narcissism is essential in understanding the traits of the disorder, and helps you recognise the dynamics of abusive relationships. However, when it’s time to truly heal, your focus should then turn to healing methods, to repair your self-care, self-worth, and self-love.

Constant research on the traits of narcissism keeps your focus on them, not on you or your recovery. Remember the old saying, “What fires together, wires together”? Each time you repeat a particular thought or action, you reinforce the connection between your neurons, turning those thoughts into a way of life, and thus influencing your day-to-day reality. Implementing self-care patterns that are positive and healthy may be difficult at first but, with practice, they too will become habitual and will help you recover faster.

Improve Your Self-Esteem

The number one, most important thing to realise is that the perceived rejection from your abuser is an illusion. Their primary goal is to make you feel invalidated - invisible. What that means is that, even if they secretly think you’re attractive, successful, fun to be around, or the best partner they’ve ever had, they will NEVER admit to it, unless they are trying to keep you in the queue.

Narcissists strive to take away every last shred of your self-esteem because that’s how they keep you hooked… To keep you thinking, “I am damaged goods. Better to have someone who treats me like crap than no one at all.”

Remember, most of what comes out of their mouth is a lie, including the negative things they say about you.

Habits to Avoid During Emotional Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

While healing is different for everyone, there are particular things we do that hinder healing, and can even reverse any progress we may have made.

Ironically, these are activities that every person coming out of a toxic relationship does.

True healing begins with looking inside to your own inner, wounded core. Nothing outside of you will help you heal because your emotional injuries are within. Instead of researching narcissism, turn your focus to healing the damage this caused on your self-esteem and healing the toxic shame that the narcissist cultivated inside you, in order to keep you dependent upon them.

What fires together, wires together. Meaning, whatever you feed your mind on a daily basis is what determines your baseline thought patterns.

So, don’t allow your mind to wander back to them, focus all your energy on healing yourself; mind, body, heart, and soul.

Don’t Wait For Time to Heal Your Wounds, Heal Them Yourself

Time doesn’t heal, it simply passes. Emotional healing after narcissistic abuse has everything to do with what you do with that time.

The key to recovery is action, not time.

The subconscious mind is impersonal. It will work to achieve whatever goals you set before it, whether good or bad. Present it with goals of healing and recovery, and it will work to help you achieve those goals.

When you do begin your healing work, keep in mind that, in order for your subconscious mind to heal, it must experience healing events.

You must actively engage in healing activities in order for new neural patterns to form in your brain, not just learn about them, do them.

A good rule of thumb is to choose a healing habit and practice it every day for at least 21 days.

Stop Scrolling and Start Listening to Your Inner Voice

It’s tempting to get into the habit of collecting information from social media and different websites, but you run the risk of becoming so overwhelmed with the mountain of data you have read or listened to that you simply freeze, unable to form an actionable plan.

Try to stick to a handful of authors whom you have grown to trust. Stop simply collecting information, instead, begin the programs that are suggested or created by the authors whom you admire the most.

It’s never too late to reclaim your life – to find yourself on the path towards your soul’s true healings and cravings.

You hold the power to survive tough times and come out stronger, better, wiser, and more connected to your soul than ever before.

If this has brought up anything for you and/or you would like to discuss other ways to help you move through the pain you hold within you, please feel free to book a 1:1 soul chat with me here: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/contact

22/10/2024

ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE AND BE ANGRY

You may think anger is a negative emotion, but it is an emotion that teaches us boundaries, giving us strength to fight for ourselves and what we believe in.

Many victims of narcissistic abuse have a false perception that, since the narcissist was a fraud and the relationship was one-sided, they shouldn’t allow themselves to grieve or vent their anger. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Not allowing yourself to process these feelings often leads to detrimental outcomes at a later point in time.

As much as we may want to bottle it up and lock it away, grief is part of the human experience, and sharing and owning our vulnerability is part of allowing our authentic self to be seen.

When we experience something that causes us sadness, we may feel the urge to shut down and withdraw from life.

However, this is when I urge you to sit with yourself and open your heart to discover an even deeper connection that you never knew existed.

You’ll realise connecting with your true self means you aren’t on your own, even when you are.

The Universe speaks to us through many channels and, when we open ourselves up to receive its messages, we receive so much more.

Opening up in this way allows us to connect with the very core of our being. We bypass all our defenses and prejudices, and become truly one with everything.

Signs that you are blocking your grief may be subtle or extremely obvious:

Staying stuck in a sad, angry, or depressive state, often feeling emotionless
Suppressed anger
Prolonged exhaustion, depression, or indifference
Forming addictions
Avoiding everything at all cost
Chronic pain or illness
Eating disorders

When life seems to crack the outer shell of our world, we are both raw and fresh at the same time.

It is then that we discover who we truly are.

Sharing grief allows us to ease our burden by letting someone else help carry it. This helps us process our own inner thoughts and feelings, through the filter of a trusted and beloved someone.

Overcome your feeling of guilt or being a burden and just know, we all have a well of compassion and empathy that allows us to draw from when those we love are in need.

Read the full article on recovering from narcissistic abuse on the website: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/articles/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse

19/10/2024

LEARN TO REGULATE YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM

If we continue to numb out the cries from our soul for acknowledgment and compassion, she will quite literally take over and command us to listen.

Our soul has the ability to turn our lives upside down in an instant, and bring our bodies to a screaming halt, if she feels it’s the only way to make us listen.

This soul-awakening (though we see it as a life crisis at the time), albeit painful, provides a vital opportunity for us to begin our spiritual journey toward wholeness and wellness.

Learning to self-soothe is the crucial first step. Otherwise, any activities you engage in to heal and move forward can be drained away by the emotional hijacking caused by your amygdala.

The Key is Embodiment - Allowing all your feelings, visions, sensations, and tensions to be seen, felt, and, ultimately, released.

Reconnect With Your Soul - Your soul has a way of tugging at you, trying to get you to listen, but the more we ignore those signs and niggles, the quieter our soul becomes and the more lost we feel. To reignite this connection, we must still our mind and go within.

Devotion to Self - An unwavering knowing that each energetic piece you release brings space for transformation to occur.

Unconditional Love - Hold yourself close, give yourself the tender love and support you would give to your dearest loved one. You are the most important soul in your life. You’re not being selfish, you’re caring enough about yourself, and the world, that you’re only prepared to show up as your best so your vibrancy can overflow to everyone.

No Judgement, Simply Compassion - One of the hardest parts of going within is forgiving yourself for the things you’ve always felt were unforgivable. But we must. We are our own worst enemy, we judge ourselves more harshly than we would anyone else, and we are also less forgiving.

However, if you are committed to a resilient Nervous System, and a body that contains enough space to hold your wildest dreams and deepest possibilities, this is essential.

Once you have fully devoted yourself to these 5 practices, your body and energy field will be humming at such a unique vibration that your Nervous System will be in harmony with your soul, and it will reside in a state of homeostasis.

Your body will operate at its optimum and your hormones, organs, digestion, literally your entire body, will function at its highest level.

Read about my services and work with me here: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/work-with-me

15/10/2024

Following up from the last article on Narcissistic traits, I would like to share some key ways to help you heal from this emotionally depleting abuse.

Perhaps you’ve been sitting around, asking yourself the following questions..

“Why does it take so long to heal from this heartache?”

“Why can’t I stop thinking about the person who treated me like crap?”

“Why do I still love them after what they did to me?”

“Will this pain ever go away?”

Obsessing over an emotionally abusive relationship is draining, and is extremely detrimental to your wellbeing.

There are many elements involved in healing from narcissistic abuse. Just as with any loss, there will be periods of grieving, denial, anger, and depression.

However, unlike a typical break-up, where you would eventually get to a point of acceptance, many victims of narcissistic abuse stay fixated on their abuser and obsess over them, causing their suffering to continue.

Why does this happen, and what can you do in your journey of emotional healing after narcissistic abuse?

Learn to regulate your nervous system
Allow yourself to grieve and be angry
Seek help if you feel you may have slipped into complicated grief
Implement ‘no contact’ in its true form
Improve your self-esteem
Don’t wait for time to heal your wounds, heal them yourself
Reconnect to your soul and allow your intuition to guide you

Narcissistic abuse creates emotional trauma. It targets your primal abandonment wound.

When you feel betrayed, rejected, and abandoned by a narcissist, your amygdala hijacks your rational thinking and sends you into fight-or-flight mode.

Your childlike self steps in, and we have the feeling of being rejected, abandoned, feeling worthless, and so much more. This is because we see ourselves as ‘not good enough’ and, from that thought, we’re left feeling sadness, depression, and an underlying feeling of defeat.

We need to allow space for our soul to communicate with us. We need to immerse ourselves in the culture that feeds our soul and brings meaning back into our life.

Continue reading the full article over on the website: https://www.naturallynessa.com.au/articles/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse

Naturally Nessa

28/11/2024

24/11/2024

20/11/2024

16/11/2024

12/11/2024

07/11/2024

04/11/2024

30/10/2024

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15/10/2024

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