14/03/2024
Let’s talk about co-regulation! An important concept that is often unknown or overlooked when it comes to “regulation”.
Co-regulation requires a co-regulator (a significant caregiver, partner, loved one in which a person has a positive attachment to) to be able to regulate themselves, recognise triggers for heightened mood (such as anxiety, excitement, nervousness or scared) in a person/child/infant and then respond in a way to provide comfort and support to the person/child/infant.
Co-regulation predominantly occurs in the younger years (birth/infant through to early childhood), however adults at times will still require co-regulation in certain situations/events/times.
Co-regulation in the relationship of parent and infant/child isn’t just about soothing a crying baby or calming a toddler tantrum in the moment - it is also about fostering a deep and nurturing connection between parent/caregiver and child - by attuning to our little one’s cues, validating their feelings, and offering them comfort and support we are teaching them not only how to regulate their emotions—but also showing them that they are seen, heard, and unconditionally loved.
If we, as a parent or caregiver are dysregulated (frustrated, anxious, overwhelmed, sad ourselves) our little one will pick up on these cues, and you most likely will see signs of what you are feeling/experiencing in your child also (ever been frustrated because you are running late and it is right at that time your little one decides to throw an epic tantrum? This is co-regulation).
It is so vitally important that we attune and respond to our own arousal needs as adults and parents when we are a co-regulator, because if we aren’t calm we cannot actively co-regulate our little ones. We cannot expect our little one to manage their own thoughts/feelings and emotions as they do not yet have the skills and development to do this on their own!
Want to know more about co-regulation, its role in the parent child relationship, or how to regulate yourself or your little one? Get in contact with our team and we will support and guide you through this ✨
