26/08/2022
Monday was National Rainbow Baby Day, and I'm a little late posting here. These days can be polarising and I tend to keep my experience and reflections of grief close to my heart.
But as grief has softened and become my intimate companion, I'm reminded of our responsibility and sacred duty to bring death and grief out of the shadows.
My experience is this, I deeply love and treasure my rainbow baby, Mabel Bee, I feel so much joy, gratitude and profound contentment. Laughter and playfulness fills our home and I still cry in the shower and some nights as I drift off to sleep thinking of Honey. This has been a big unravelling for me, how my heart holds it all, my love, my grief, my sadness, my joy ~ life does not fit into the neatness of one or the other, Honey's death broke my heart and it also opened my heart, showing me the expansiveness of life itself. For me I find comfort in this expansive place, beyond judgement, it's a place where everything just is, where I allow myself to be.
And to those who have grief in their hearts and a rainbow baby in their arms, to those pregnant with their rainbow baby, anxiously awaiting their safe arrival, to those grieving and dealing with infertility and waiting for their rainbow, to those trying to conceive and hoping for their rainbow, to those who aren't TTC because they are still grieving the death of a baby, to those without a rainbow baby and to those who are all of these and no matter what, will always be grieving. I'm sending you all so much tenderness and love, I see you.