17/10/2025
Ever wonder why you attract people who always need saving?
I used to think I was just the “helper,” the one who could see the truth before anyone else did… but really, I was just surviving.
For most of my younger years, I was surrounded by people who always seemed to have problems.
And instead of just being there for them, I’d dive straight in — fixing, rescuing, solving.
It became my identity.
If someone was struggling, I’d drop everything to make it right. Because deep down, I thought if everyone else was okay, I’d finally feel okay too.
What I didn’t realise back then was that I was living in constant survival mode.
My body was on high alert, scanning for danger that didn’t exist, trying to predict the next storm before it hit. I told myself it was intuition, but it was fear.
Fear that if something went wrong, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Fear that if I didn’t fix it, I’d be abandoned, rejected, or blamed.
So I stayed busy saving everyone else.
I mistook control for connection.
I thought I was being strong, but really, I was just exhausted — holding everything together while quietly falling apart.
It took me years to see how much that pattern cost me.
It damaged friendships.
It built walls between me and the people I loved because I didn’t know how to simply sit in their chaos without making it mine. I thought I knew better, when really, I was scared of slowing down long enough to feel my own pain.
In my late teens and early twenties, I lived in a world of constant “what ifs.”
What if they get hurt?
What if they leave?
What if it all falls apart?
That kind of thinking doesn’t leave much room for trust, or learning, or joy.
It keeps you trapped in the idea that you have to manage life instead of live it.
When I started to understand that my nervous system wasn’t broken — it was just overprotective — something shifted. I realised I didn’t need to fix people to feel safe.
I just needed to feel safe enough within myself to let them be who they are.
These days, I don’t rush to rescue.
I listen. I pause. I breathe.
I know now that being present is far more powerful than fixing ever was.
Because peace doesn’t come from controlling life —
it comes from finally trusting that you can handle it.
https://calendly.com/healing-somaticsoulwork
Healing@somaticsoulwork.com.au
