27/02/2024
At the heart of my latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion - I break down self-compassion into two different branches: tender self-compassion and fierce self-compassion - as shown in the graphic by above! This explains the difference between the two and why both are needed for balance:
“The quintessential question of self-compassion is ‘What do I need right now?’ and more specifically ‘What do I need to help alleviate my suffering?’ The answer to this question changes depending on the circumstances. Sometimes what we need is to accept ourselves in all our human imperfection, to love ourselves as we are in the moment. But that doesn’t mean we necessarily want to stay as we are in the moment. If a herd of cattle is stampeding toward you, it’s not the time for self-acceptance, it’s time for action.
If tender self-compassion is metaphorically like a parent soothing his crying child, fierce self-compassion is like Momma Bear who ferociously protects her cubs when threatened, or catches fish to feed them, or moves them to a new territory with better resources. Just as tenderness can be turned inward so that we nurture and care for ourselves, the fierce energy of Momma Bear can also be turned inward to stand up for ourselves.
What’s essential is that these two faces of self-compassion are balanced and integrated so that we can be whole. When both are present, it creates a caring force that can be used to transform ourselves and the world around us.”
