30/06/2024
My weight has fluctuated immensely my entire life. Yet I've always been comfortable in my own skin. My wardrobe consists of anything from sizes 6-12.
I was 9 years old the first time a boy called me "big-butt" in primary school. Yes it upset me and I cried, but I also learned a lesson that day.. That the way others saw me was not my problem.
The biggest I'd ever been was a size 14, when I was going through adolescence. If you're a tall person, this may not seem big at all but for a 5"1 Filipino girl, it earned me a lot of negative comments from my family. Even then, despite the criticism I've always appreciated the parts of my body that I thought were beautiful.. regardless of what size I was. Throughout my 20's, I ballooned and shrunk back and forth as I've never had a strict diet or exercise routine. However, my self worth has never fluctuated. I believe that was due to my internal self-esteem. I understood that my human hologram was just a vehicle. I could either choose to honour or abuse it, and the truth about my true worth was within my soul.
I am 35 and the last few months is the first time I've looked in the mirror and had complaints about my body. The societal pressure for my postpartum mothers to 'bounce back' after bringing life into the world is crazy.. and it's all in our heads. Some women literally gaslight themselves into thinking their reflection is less than beautiful and since giving birth, I have been guilty of this too.
Yet, when I contemplate what my body has done for me, and all I have achieved with this silly skin suit, I remember the unshakeable girl from my 20's and remember to give thanks to this vehicle that has taken me on the most incredible journeys.
Giving birth to my daughter has been the most amazing life-changing experience. And I wouldn't change it for anything, especially something as silly as a size 6 dress.
If you're a new mum on a self-love journey who is ready to commit to a 8 week one-on-one process and really see her own beauty and learn to live life on her terms, check the link in my bio 🔗