Hard Cuddles

Together we had created a company that managed 20 different personalities daily and revolved around commercial/industrial waste management and disposal. Which in monetary terms is a great way to make a lot of cold hard folding, fast. I was working hours that were in-conducive to raising a large family with any real presence or connection.

The challenge with the waste industry was our values and the principles we consider non-negotiable were being compromised ethically and we had become complacent with a lifestyle that accompanied the money. The flip-side to the challenge, saw yours truly completing the night time waste collection in the CBD 6 days a week between 3 am-9 am. My eyes were opened to the level of disconnection and loneliness that exists for a section of our population calling the Melbourne city streets and alleyway’s home.

What I observed over a period of 6 months and subsequently shared with my wife was enough for the two of us to decide to sell our waste management company and create a social enterprise that served to provide sustainable value to the community. We had no idea how we were going to do it, I had no formal qualification at the time, but we knew supporting males was most definitely the best place to start.

Once this decision had been made, soul guru and friend Trevor Hendy randomly walked into our lives and changed them forever. This incredible human gave Kate and I the courage, support, and motivation we needed to leap into the dark abyss of financial insecurity that comes with an undertaking of that nature.

I enrolled in a Diploma of Counselling. Then we randomly met Dan Koch at the beach, who singlehandedly formed and created the digital footprint we needed to let the community know there was now a brotherhood out there that was willing and able to support men.

All we needed was a name. The name had to carry enough weight that when people heard it, it made them curious to learn more. It had to be bold enough to encapsulate and emphasize our underlying meaning, which in reality hadn’t fully been developed. There was only a basic framework. We were effectively discovering most of our story as we moved through the different stages of setting up our organisation.

One evening before putting our eldest daughter to bed, I had asked her to cuddle me, this is something I share with all the people in my life. A cuddle is an extremely personal experience, you get close enough to a person to be able to feel their energy. Cuddling a person for 20 seconds and you have a clear understanding of what they hold in their heart at that particular time.

Both my daughter and I shared a long hard cuddle, expressing how much we love each other and off she went to bed. The next morning around 5:00 am I was parked in my garbage truck at a petrol station in Altona when my wife’s number came up on my phone. It was my eldest daughter Lucy who was 4-years-old at the time who rang to say;

"We give hard cuddles don't we dad?”

As soon I heard those words, we had our name and that is the story of how Hard Cuddles came to be, we ignored the how and followed the why. Years later at his Open-Hearted Seminar, Trev along with his wife Jo proceeded to explain the significance of the yin and yang symbolism with a name like Hard Cuddles. The two words Hard Cuddles are both strength and softness all in one, aligning itself with the duality of life.

I would love to have taken credit for it, but the truth is, it had nothing to do with me. The name came from sharing a moment of connection with my 4-year-old-daughter.

Nearly three years on Hard Cuddles has grown to a team of five. We have re-connected people with their families, three people are in recovery from ice addiction, we are now working in the prison system, speaking at schools, sporting organisations, and businesses. We have Steven “next contest” Kline back from the abyss of prison, homelessness and addiction now mentoring and facilitating at Hard Cuddles. Simi “the Samoan” Leota a warrior, qualified counsellor and facilitator helping people find happiness.

All because of a thought, an idea created whilst driving a garbage truck and the unwavering support of an amazing woman.