Stephanie Butler MFT PLLC

Stephanie Butler MFT PLLC Cactus Wren Family Therapy provides effective and accesible therapy to people of all ages.

Many times when a couple comes in for desire discrepency, one partener will tell me that he/she "needs" s*x and the othe...
21/04/2026

Many times when a couple comes in for desire discrepency, one partener will tell me that he/she "needs" s*x and the other partner doesn't. S*xual intimacy is a necessary and wonderful part of a relationship, but it is not a "need."
When one partner is creating a dynamic where his/her s*xual needs are taking priority over meeting the mutual needs of the partnership - care, connection, play, presence, intimacy, etc... it acts as a desire killer for his or her partner. So in demanding "I have needs," we make it far less likely for those desires to be met organically or passionately.

As a s*x therapist, my goal is to help narrow the desire descrepency and increase the quality of intimacy and connection between partners. To make an appt, click the link in my bio and let's chat!

-Steffi

In Dallas, finishing up the last course in my certification training for S*x Therapy with the Institute for S*xual Whol...
18/04/2026

In Dallas, finishing up the last course in my certification training for S*x Therapy with the Institute for S*xual Wholeness.
As usual, the best parts of these training are often the great people you meet from all over who are doing amazing work!

Whether you're an adult managing the stress of work or relationships, a teen navigating the trials of growing up, or a c...
14/04/2026

Whether you're an adult managing the stress of work or relationships, a teen navigating the trials of growing up, or a child trying to make sense of big emotions, life can be difficult! Everyone can use a helping hand sometimes and that's why I'm here. I've had the pleasure of working with children, their families, and individuals for over 10 years. Together we'll develop goals specific to your needs and identify individualized tools and strategies to help you achieve them. I employ system-based marriage and family theories such as DBT, Solution Focused Therapy, and Internal Family Systems. I offer a warm, non judgemental space where we can work together to tackle life's challenges.​

Andrew, an AZ native, comes to us with over a decade of experience working with children, teens and families. Andrew sees children, teens and young adult men.

Andrew is a husband and a father who lives in the East Valley.

When your child, tween or teen arrives for therapy with Andrew, you will see them pick out a game to play. Andrew likes ...
13/04/2026

When your child, tween or teen arrives for therapy with Andrew, you will see them pick out a game to play. Andrew likes to joke that he plays Uno for a living. The reality is, there is no more effective way to connect with a kid than to get down on their level and join them in their world. The world of play is the world our kids live in (and should live in).
While Andrew plays, he teaches...but your kids don't really notice or feel "taught" because it's part of the game. Andrew is able to fully integrate skill building and emotional processing into the time he spends "playing games" with your kids.

The advent of "AI Partners" has highlighted a problem I see more and more in couples' therapy. If it is doing its job, t...
09/04/2026

The advent of "AI Partners" has highlighted a problem I see more and more in couples' therapy. If it is doing its job, the user becomes more attached, spends more time in artificial spaces with the AI and less and less in the literal/real/phsyical world.
Recently, I've noticed a more pronounced resistance in couples' to do things that require them to be uncomfortable, to push back against dynamics that don't have the outcome of ensuring personal (not mutual) happiness. If my partner is hurt or broken or has a need that requires me to give to the point of discomfort - - the conclusion often seems to be, "We aren't a good fit." If my partner says or does something that causes me pain, it must mean he/she doesn't love me and we shouldn't be together. If we disagree politically...we aren't a good fit
I think this mentality is exascerbated by a culture in which we have more "artificial" connections than real ones. From Kindergarten to retirement, we can now and are encouraged to curate lives of comfort. Like a body that never does any weight bearing exercise, is never given the opportunity or requirement of walking, carrying its own weight or breaking a sweat - I think this leads to a lack of maturation (emotional immaturity), relational lethargy and frankly - sickly/fragile lives.
Resiliance and strength both emotionally and physically are built through discomfort. The ability to sit in discomfort, hold it and move through it is what ultimately leads to satisfying, healthy and long-lasting relationships. Individuals who have never been required to hold and move through discomfort are extremely unhappy and lean toward selfishness. Selfishness cannot coexist with connectedness. And what most people are longing for is connection. If you want connection, you have to learn to be uncomfortable and still be okay.

Want to get to know Andrew? Andrew has over a decade of experience working with kids and their families. Cactus Wren was...
07/04/2026

Want to get to know Andrew?
Andrew has over a decade of experience working with kids and their families. Cactus Wren was lucky to grab Andrew when he transitioned out of his last role working on the Gila Reservation into private practice.

Not only is Andrew a whiz with kids, he also enjoys diversity in his case load. The modalities he tends to utilize most are DBT (think emotional regulation), IFS ("parts-work"), Narrative Therapy, and CBT. He is a family systems therapist and does work with parents and children (adult or minor children).

In his spare time, when not wrangling his three boys, he enjoys gardening. Andrew is gentle but direct and very practical in his approach.

To make an initial appointment with Andrew, navigate via the link in our profile to our online scheduling widget.

The space we occupy has a deep impact on our nervous systems and our mood. It's pretty typical for my regulars to come i...
03/04/2026

The space we occupy has a deep impact on our nervous systems and our mood. It's pretty typical for my regulars to come in, kick of their shoes, flop down on the extra deep seated sofa and recline a bit - taking a deep sigh as they do. There is no greater feeling for me as a therapist than to have succeeded in creating a space where they can do that.

Part of that comfort is the space. It's cozy. I like to joke that it's nicer than my house b/c my kids don't live there. The truth is, comfort is also in a person. It wouldn't matter what my office looked like if I myself wasn't brining comfort into the space.

It is really important that your therapist be a safe, comforting and stable space. That looks different for every client. Give yourself the gift of finding a therapist who is the right fit for you. Pay attention to your comfort and how safe it feels in the presence of your therapist.

If you'd like to check out one of our therapists, click the link in the bio and schedule online at our website.

A client recently said to me that she believed the only reason her husband was willing to go to therapy was so that I wo...
02/04/2026

A client recently said to me that she believed the only reason her husband was willing to go to therapy was so that I would tell her she was wrong and he was right.

I'll let you in on a secret - I think most couples are hoping the therapist will vindicate them when they finally have an unbiased ear. Our job is not to decide who is right. We aren't judges in a courtroom (hopefully we can keep you out of courtrooms). Our job is to reflect back to you what is present. If there is resentment, it is our job to reveal that. If there is pain, hurt, betrayal, our job is to hold that in a manner that it can be witnessed and healed. If there is unacknowledged longing, desire and love, we have the privelage of pointing that out.

Couples therapy is different than individual therapy. Most therapists have strong feelings about it - they either love it or they hate it. I love it. What a gift to witness the moments two people who have experienced a facture are able to rediscover their friendship, connection and love for one another.

Names say a lot about who we are, especially the names we chose. Cactus Wren Family Therapy hopes to communicate who we ...
30/03/2026

Names say a lot about who we are, especially the names we chose. Cactus Wren Family Therapy hopes to communicate who we are through our unique name. The cactus-wren makes its home in the prickly, pokey cactus plants of the Sonoran Desert. This wren, the largest of its kind, selects these protective desert dwellings among the saguaro and cholla as natural protection from predators. Their call is strong and loud. Their ability to thrive in harsh conditions like heat and draught is remarkable.

Our founder, Steffi Butler, has hiked and trekked all over the world from the Olympics and Cascades, the Canadian Rockies, and Austrian Alps to Venezuelan Andes and the Machu Picchu Trail. Living in Arizona provides copious hiking opportunities. On her hikes through the Superstition Mountains, she has been captivated by how this beautiful bird finds respite in a place most of us dare not to go.

This bravery reminds her of her clients. The pursuit of healing, wholeness and restoration through therapy requires courage and bravery. Therapy can be painful at times as clients unpack events that have left deep aching wounds. Much like the Cholla, we hope to be a safe and protected place for that beautiful and sacred process to take place.

Next time you see our state bird land on a bright pink Saguaro flower, think of how beauty often springs from unusual places…painful places even.

Welcome to Cactus Wren Family Therapy!We have put a lot of effort into creating a safe, warm and inviting space for you ...
27/03/2026

Welcome to Cactus Wren Family Therapy!

We have put a lot of effort into creating a safe, warm and inviting space for you to come alone, with your kids or your partner. Our waiting room is dimmed to lessen any sensory issues you or your family may have. We play calming music to help relax your nervous system. Our decor is muted and neutral, but warm and comfortable. We offer complimentary coffee, snacks and cold water.

We share space with another practice, Tree of Life, who are equally dedicated to the client experience. We all hope that you feel "at-home" and comfortable in our space!

To make an appointment with one of our therapists, click the link in our profile and schedule online.

This is Andrew Hiemstra, LMFT. Andrew has over a decade of experience working with minors and their families. He is our ...
25/03/2026

This is Andrew Hiemstra, LMFT. Andrew has over a decade of experience working with minors and their families. He is our resident "play therapist" and his clients love him!
Let's bust some play therapy myths...

MYTH: Male therapists won't connect as easily with my child.
TRUTH: Most kids are paying more attention to whether they are safe, seen and heard - not the gender of the therapist. It's a pretty regular thing for me to cross paths with a kiddo as they are leaving their first session with Andrew and hear them ask, "When can we come back?"
MYTH: Play therapy is just playing games, not therapy.
TRUTH: In 2005, a meta analysis of studies on the efficacy of playtherapy between 1953 and 2000 was completed. It found that "On average, children receiving play therapy inter-ventions performed more than3⁄4of a standard deviation better ongiven outcome measures compared with children who did notreceive play therapy." In other words, play is extremely effective. Your child is getting all the benefits of therapy b/c their therapist is joining their world - not requiring them to enter the adult world of "talk therapy."
MYTH: My child's therapist should meet with me every time they meet with my child.
TRUTH: Your child's therapist must have the trust of your child in order to be effective. We have ethical standards that require us to inform authorities and parents of safety concerns or other risky/illegal behaviors. Find a therapist you can trust to hold confidential space with your child, so that your child can benefit from that space and really open up.
What are some other "myths" we can bust for you about kids going to therapy?

It’s been a while since I’ve introduced myself. I am Steffi, owner and clinical director of Cactus Wren Family Therapy. ...
24/03/2026

It’s been a while since I’ve introduced myself. I am Steffi, owner and clinical director of Cactus Wren Family Therapy. I am trained in EMDR, IFS, somatic processing models, and Gottman. I am also trained in S*x Therapy thru the Institute for S*xual Wholeness.

I work with clients 18+yo (individuals, families or couples). My niche is in trauma recovery, codependency, assertiveness training and high conflict relationships.

I love to garden, woodwork, kayak, hike and fish! I also love cooking and good restaurants. I am celebrating my 18 years of marriage to my husband this month and we share for children ages 14-8.

I have a background in Biblical Studies and am seminary educated and am willing to integrate faith/spiritual direction when clients are looking for that.

Click the link in our bio to schedule an appointment!

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Address

2241 E Pecos Road
Chandler, WA
85225

Opening Hours

Tuesday 6am - 11:30am
Wednesday 6am - 11:30am
Thursday 6am - 11:30am

Telephone

+14807014535

Website

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