Eden Heights Psychology

11/09/2025

20/08/2025

Our words are important. They have power!

As we previously discussed, they are the foundation for communication, allowing us to share ideas, express feelings, and grow connections. They have the power to re-wire our neurological pathways, shape our thoughts, affect our well-being, influence our emotions, and dictate our actions.

Not only do they impact others, but they also impact us.

When used carelessly, they can cause significant harm.

Choosing the right words is crucial as they can shift perceptions, impact relationships, and drive actions.

They can:

- Encourage, inspire, motivate (positive)

- Discourage, silence, hurt (negative)



A few words that don’t mean much to us, may stick with someone else for a lifetime. How much more should we therefore attend to the words we say and consider their impact before speaking?


“Your words have the power to hurt, to heal, open minds, open hearts and change the world. Never forget the responsibility you have over the words you speak” – Steven Aitchison

10/08/2025

Embrace Forgiveness

One of the most common unhelpful thinking styles we engage in as adults is disqualifying the positive but we not only do this in relation to throwing out our own successes or treating them as if they don't count for one reason or another, in some ways we also apply this to our relationships with others. There is a saying, ‘you’re only as good as your last mistake’ and sometimes this is how we treat our relationships. You may have someone in your life who has always been there to listen to or help you, perhaps even defended you to others in your absence, where the bulk of the relationship has been positive but at some point tarnished by a disagreement, situation, or even simply absence and suddenly the many positives are coloured by the one or few negatives. This is only because we allow them to be, we choose to discount those good elements because we feel offended and elect to hang onto this rather than embracing forgiveness in its entirety. Certainly each situation is different but in many cases it's likely worth letting go of the offence and holding onto the support. ‘Life is a journey …’ often a tough one and as we age true connections seem harder to come by. Having a solid support system professionally, familiarly, and personally holds value and improves our wellbeing. Don't lightly cast aside those who would care for you.

08/08/2025

Non-verbal – The way you say it and show it

Effective communication depends a lot more on our tone of voice and body language than the words we say. Saying that you love your spouse would mean a lot more to them if you said it while kissing their forehead, holding their hand or embracing them, rather than if you mumbled it under your breath while heading out the door.

Here are some tips on how to improve non-verbal communication:
• Be aware of your body language (postures and gestures). Non-verbal cues can either support or contradict what we are saying, which is why it’s so important to be aware of our body language.
- Try to keep an open and relaxed posture as this portrays a positive, open and friendly feel, for example open palms and leaning in slightly when speaking or listening and providing minimal encouragers such as nodding slightly in response to things they are saying.
- Avoid nervous or closed body language such as biting your lip or nails, crossing your arms, putting your hands on your hips, or tapping your foot impatiently.
- Practise mirroring their body language, for example, orienting your body similarly to theirs or if they appear tense, intentionally relaxing your posture, thereby hopefully encouraging them to relax and mirror your body language. This can create a sense of familiarity, comfort, connection and make them feel more at ease.

• Be mindful of facial expressions. Depending on the context and situation, it’s often good to keep a neutral, yet friendly expression unless you’re wanting to add an emotion to the words you’re speaking, as expressions like smiling, frowning, or raised eyebrows communicate a wide range of emotions.

• Maintain a good amount of eye contact. Research has shown that the right amount of eye contact can make interactions more meaningful and helps build connection, openness, fosters a sense of trust and shows that you are interested and invested in the conversation. The 50/70 rule suggests that it is ideal to maintain eye contact for approximately 50% of the time while speaking and 70% while listening.

“People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.” — John C. Maxwell

27/06/2025

Active Listening – The words they say

Communication is a two-way process that involves speaking and listening. Often most of us are so focused on speaking that we forget listening is equally important (if not more so).

Listening is crucial for effective communication. Listening helps build trust and strengthens relationships; it helps us understand the needs, concerns, and feelings of the person we’re speaking to, and avoids misunderstandings, conflict or mistakes that can arise from misinterpretations.

Active listening requires your full attention and engagement. It’s not just about hearing the words but about analysing verbal and non-verbal cues such as tone and body-language (more about this soon). It’s about paying close attention so that we can understand and comprehend the message that the other person is trying to convey and then responding in a way that shows we have understood that message.



Active listening is a skill that takes time, effort and practise. But here are some tips to get you started on improving your listening skills:

● Speak less. Listen more – in other words close your mouth and open your ears. In a conversation, make sure that you’re allowing the other person to speak as well

● Pay attention and focus fully on the speaker
- Avoid Multitasking (doing other tasks during the conversation as you may get distracted and miss important information)
- As an extension of the above - If you find yourself thinking about what you are going to say next – STOP! don’t worry about your response in advance, you may miss critical information, just listen to the whole message and then respond. When they are finished speaking, if you need to, it is okay to take a moment before responding
- Avoid interrupting

● Ask for clarification to avoid misunderstandings and double check by repeating back what they have said or asked (in your own words)

● Ask open-ended questions to gain more insight

● Paraphrase and summarise what the speaker said to show that you have understood their message – this also tells them you were listening

● Show interest, empathy and understanding (more on non-verbal communication soon)

14/05/2025

Communication - the words you say

Our words can provide clarity or confusion, produce happiness or resentment, calm a storm or add fuel to the fire. They are an important part of communication, but the way we present, arrange and express those words can impact the message we are trying to convey. The key to effective verbal communication is being able to express what we mean in a clear, calm and complete way, exchanging information with clarity, empathy, and understanding.



Here are a few tips to increase the fluency of your own communication:

● Think before you speak. Give yourself time to gather your thoughts and think through how you will present them beforehand.

● Be mindful of the pace or rate of your speech (speed). Speaking at a steady pace makes it easier for the person you’re speaking with to understand and follow what you’re saying.

● Speak clearly and concisely. Use simple language and ensure your message is easy to understand. Avoid vague or implied statements that could cause confusion or misinterpretations.

● Make sure that what you’ve said is correct/factual and complete so the person you’re speaking to doesn’t end up with more questions than answers by the end of the conversation.

● Leave room for the person to ask questions and be ready to listen intently to what they say (more about listening in the coming post…)

07/05/2025

Communication is an extremely important part of everyday life. Whether it’s having a conversation with your neighbour, a meeting with your boss or texting a friend. Effective communication however is more than just exchanging information. It ensures that the intended message is understood and interpreted correctly. Whether it’s problem-solving, teamwork collaboration, establishing connections, building trust, improving relationships, resolving conflict or just interacting and sharing ideas – effective communication is necessary and the key to success in our private and professional lives.



Effective communication is a skill that takes time and practise to master. It requires us to express our opinions, emotions, thoughts, ideas and knowledge in a healthy way so that the message is received and understood with clarity and purpose.



According to Albert Mehrabian (a researcher of body language), communication is 55% non-verbal, 38% vocal (tone and inflection), and 7% words. Meaning that up to 93% of communication doesn’t involve the words you are speaking.



Over the next few weeks, we are going to address three components of effective communication:

1. Verbal Communication

2. Active Listening

3. Non-verbal Communication

14/03/2025

Memory is important! Without it, we can’t remember who we are, recognise our friends and family or how to do everyday tasks. Memory is what allows us to look back on past experiences, reflect on the best day of our life and store knowledge. None of us want to lose our memory. None of us like forgetting things, yet it’s near impossible to remember every single piece of information we’ve been given – our brains process the information and decide what to store long term. Some knowledge when not attended to regularly may sit in our memory stores but be difficult to recall to consciousness. Thankfully, we can train our memory to improve retrieval.

So, what are some ways that we can strengthen or improve our memory?

Here are a few ideas:

1. Keep your brain stimulated with new information - try learning something new like a hobby, instrument or language.

2. Play mind strengthening games like crosswords, word-recall games, chess, scrabble or sudoku.

3. Stay physically active every day to increase blood flow to the brain.

4. Use a map instead of a GPS - Navigation experience can enlarge the hippocampus – a part of the brain involved in spatial memory. The hippocampus also plays a crucial role in memory consolidation.

5. Make sure to get good quality and quantity of sleep.

6. Stay hydrated – even mild dehydration can affect functioning with potential to impair memory and attention.

7. Manage your stress levels – when you’re stressed, your body releases a “stress hormone” called cortisol which interferes with the brain’s memory process, including the ability to retrieve information.

21/02/2025

There is more to this well-known quote than first meets the eye. Sleep, although it may seem boring and inconvenient at times, is vital for daily coping. Getting good quality sleep is necessary for the body and mind to recharge. Without enough sleep, our brain’s struggle to concentrate, think clearly, process memories, regulate emotions, critically think and evaluate. This is becoming a growing issue in our generation as more people seem to struggle with getting a good night’s sleep.

 

Here are some ways that we can improve our sleep quality and quantity:

● Daily exposure to natural light (ideally as soon as you wake up)

● Exercise for at least 20 minutes each day and avoid doing intense exercises right before bedtime

● Eat dinner a few hours before bedtime and try keep it light

● Set a regular sleep/wake routine. Try to go to sleep and wake up at the same times each day

● Avoid looking at any electronic devices at least an hour before bedtime

● Enjoy some calming activities before bed to wind-down.  These could include gentle stretching or deep breathing exercises, taking a warm bath, reading, listening to slow paced classical music, having a drink of milk or chamomile tea or using essential oils.

Note: If you have insomnia, avoid looking at your clock and viewing sleep with fear and stress. If issues with sleep persist, contact your GP.

 

“Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.” – Thomas Dekker

14/02/2025

Gratitude

Studies have shown that gratitude can improve mental health and wellbeing. It’s hard to be grateful and often doesn’t come naturally (or easily) to many of us, but by shifting our focus from what’s not going smoothly in our life to what is going well, has benefits. Gratitude grows a deeper sense of contentment, resilience, mindfulness and develops an optimistic perspective to life that equips you to face challenges more effectively. Furthermore, gratitude has been shown to reduce self-comparison, stress, resentment, grief; symptoms of depression and anxiety; improve sleep quality and duration, as well as help overcome trauma.

Here are some ways you can practice gratitude:
● Keep a gratitude journal. Try writing down at least three things you’re grateful for (it can be anything - people, experiences, events or even pets), as well as three things you’re looking forward to (looking forward to the future with hope and optimism helps grow gratitude as well). Hint: Sometimes it’s the seemingly smallest, most simple blessings that make the biggest difference.
● Look for the good. Throughout your day, look out for the good and beautiful things in life that radiate joy. As the good old saying goes - “stop and smell the roses”.
● Actively express thankfulness. This can be done by going out of your way to say thank you to anyone who gives you a hand or even writing a letter of appreciation to a person that has a special place in your heart.
● Appreciate yourself. Take the time to appreciate yourself: your accomplishments, qualities, any progress and self-development. Big or small – it’s all worth it.
● Take up new hobbies and pursue activities you find enjoyable. Working on yourself and setting aside time to do things you enjoy, is important when seeking happiness and contentment.
● Think outside the Box. Go out of your way to look at new situations and circumstances in an optimistic way. For example, if you break your toe from dropping a weight on it, at least you can still be thankful that you have all your toes.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

28/11/2024

“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Effective communication is a crucial element of happiness in life, particularly in our interactions with loved ones. Upon reflection, it is often the opportunities we failed to seize and the words we left unspoken that evoke the greatest regret.

“IN THE END… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.” - Lewis Carroll

Carpe diem!

05/09/2024

“I just don’t feel motivated today” - is this a familiar thought? Do you find yourself always waiting for motivation to strike?

Instead of waiting focus on building habits, start small with something easy and repeat it until it becomes a habit. Motivation can be built! When we achieve a small task it can increase our motivation towards achieving the next goal or task.

Ways we can increase our productivity:
1. Improve physical hardiness (sleep, exercise, eating habits)
2. Set achievable goals
3. Self-care (make time for fun and relaxation - stress is a killer of many things)
4. Record your accomplishments

If you, like many of us, struggle with where to begin, just pick one thing, give it 5 minutes of your time and at the end ask yourself how do I feel now that I’ve started, can I do another 5? “Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” Francis of Assisi