23/10/2025
A Gentle Plea: Rethinking Silence
There’s a difference between having boundaries and building walls.
If you’ve chosen not to speak to your parents, I’d like to gently invite you to think about what that means, not as a judgment, but as an act of reflection.
Boundaries are healthy and important. They allow you to protect your peace while still acting with respect and integrity. It’s possible to maintain distance, to say no, to limit conversations while still acknowledging a message, or saying thank you for a gesture.
Completely refusing contact at all, in many cases, isn’t a sign of strength, it’s a sign of relational avoidance. It suggests that the skills needed to stay present, self-regulated, and kind in difficult relationships haven’t yet been built.
Of course, there are exceptions. For those whose parents were genuinely abusive or dangerous, safety must always come first.
But for many, the “harms” we carry from childhood are not insurmountable. They can often be managed through healthy boundaries, emotional maturity, and compassion both for ourselves and for others.
So perhaps this is a moment to ask yourself:
Is my current behaviour congruent with my values?
Am I acting with integrity and courage, or from fear, resentment, or a desire to punish?
Sometimes, refusing to even say “thank you” doesn’t protect us — it simply keeps us small.