06/11/2023
Here I sit...typing.
It's 1AM, last I checked. Insomnia, it seems, is one of the side effects of modern life - too much stress, too much activity, too much collective pain in our face. As I once wrote in a poem: "too much of never enough." The deeper forces which drive our culture are absolutely insatiable, and we at ground level pay the price ("Pay the Iron Price," As George Martin, Game of thrones author wrote - which basically refers to being fleeced by fictional Vikings.)
Chronic dysregulation: (inability to perform simple, organism maintaining activities like passing stools, peeing when we need to, eating a decent meal with appetite and satisfaction via a legitimate digestive process (and yeah, getting a solid nights sleep) are all signs and symptoms of Chronic Syndromes.
Does it mean you have one...? Not necessarily. For some, it's a lifestyle problem. But for others with sensitive nervous systems in an ongoing dysregulated eco-system, particularly those with trauma history. It may well be.
I had a love affair with Caffeine, then I graduated to some kind of marriage with coffee in order to get by and be able to write a few words down again in an orderly fashion. I jumped on and off the wagon, and felt guilty, particularly because the Acupuncture establishment upon which my health depended emphasised the draining and anxiety aspects of this particular bean, and its delicious result in a cup: Texas tea, black velvet gold...waking to the world with a whack of love...I could go on describing the intense love we had for each other.
In the end, the point was, I hadn't gone deep enough into the situation. We found someone (we, I suppose, being my Chinese doctor mate and I) who specialised in chronic syndromes and this is essentially what he said:
"For those with chronic syndromes, black coffee after breakfast is good in 3) ways. 1) Most people have really weak and dysregulated gut systems. It has a dual function of cleaning the gunk out and firing up the stomach into a state of acidity, so that you tend to digest food rather than use it to make toxicity. 2) Pre-amble: One of the hardest things (especially for me, compared to others I know) is the psychological aspect. of my chronic syndromes process. I suppose you could say being chronically ill for 25 years has made me slowly feel like I'm on a giant chess game with Satan that never ends. I work hard to make a gaining move, until the chronic pathogenic factor of me FMS/ME or whatever it is, adapts, and uses it against me. In other words...SATAN makes a better move, for 25 YEARS! (If that's not a psychological marathon, I don't know what is).
This gives rise to the 'bad-day/off-day' factor. Everyone has them. But if your tendency, generally speaking, is to have them everyday, coffee can help get you out of this spot.
3) Essentially there's is many ways to have a chronic illness syndrome, but the root is chronic dysregulation of the organisms capacity to maintain equilibrium (unstable, in other words) and the branches (so to speak) is the psychological feeling of entrapment in the situation, and in many cases, the body. Your kinda old before your time, really. The weather changes hit hard, your sensitive to light and sound...being in publica gatherings can cause meltdowns. Too hot, too cold....I guess that's me for the night.
Take care out there. If you've got one of these problems n you're hitting up the middle east news, I'd perhaps consider (at least) limiting your exposure to that stress as much as possible.
