20/01/2023
REPOST FOR “R U OK DAY?”
Kei te pai koe? Are you ok? ❤️💙
As much as we we need to ask this question more often, it’s important that we are in a good headspace and have the time and willingness to listen. Talking about struggles can bring up some difficult emotions, such as sadness or embarrassment, so we need to be prepared to sit with those emotions if they arise.
We completely understand that asking our loved ones “ko wai koe?” can actually be really daunting!
What happens if they reply with “kāore, I’m not ok.” It’s hard to know what to do next in this situation.
So here are few tips that may help you feel more confident to check in more regularly with whānau:
1. OPEN PĀTAI WILL HELP GET THE KŌRERO STARTED
Try using questions that are open, non-judgmental and show a genuine willingness to listen. An example for this could be:
“You haven’t seemed yourself lately, would you like to talk about it?” Or “I’ve been thinking about you lately with everything that’s going on – how have you been?”
2. WHAKARONGO/LISTEN
It is important that when you ask the above question that you are ready to listen with genuine concern and with an open mind.
Don’t intereupt or rush the kōrero. If they need time to think, try and sit patiently with the silence. Encourage them and let them know you’re listening. You can do this by saying things like:
“How long have you been feeling this way?” or “Take your time, I’m here for you”
3. ENCOURAGE ACTION
Once you’ve taken the time to listen, ask them pātai that will help them to take action. Ask them how you can help or what they’ve done in the past that has helped. Encourage them to access other supports, such as talking to whanau, close friends, a doctor or other qualified health professionals. You could say:
“What can I do right now to support you?” or “Is there something you’ve tried in the past that’s helped when you’ve felt like this?”
If our whānau aren’t ready to kōrero just remind them that you’re here to listen whenever they feel like talking and even ask if you can check in with them again soon.
If you’re really worried about them, you could try reaching out to someone else who is close to them and encourage that person to check in also.
Hope this helps whānau 🙏🏼
He waka eke noa - we are all in this together 🛶