23/11/2025
“Ugh!” the client moans as they try to pick the gelding’s foot off the ground. The client tries several times to lift the horse’s foot and becomes exasperated, “Why won’t he lift his foot?”
The client stands up and glares at the gelding, then at the therapy team. “This is stupid!” the client says. “I don’t know what the problem is. It’s really not that hard.”
The client reaches down again, and this time the gelding walks across the pen away from the client. The client responds by yelling at the horse.
The therapy team recognizes the client's dysregulation and knows that exploring the client’s experience in this state would be unhelpful. Team member picks up a small ball. “Would you like to walk or toss a ball for a couple of minutes?”
“Toss a ball,” the client grunts.
Team member softly tosses the ball to the client. The client and team toss the ball back and forth in a set pattern to help regulate the client's nervous system. After a few minutes the client’s body begins to soften.
Team member states while continuing to toss the ball, “Asking your horse to pick up his foot was harder for y’all than you expected.”
Client grunts in agreement.
Team member, “I wonder what made it so hard?”
Client tosses the ball back but does not respond.
Team member stays silent and allows the client to reflect. They continue to toss the ball.
Team member, “Tell me from your perspective what happened.”
“He was being an ass about it. He could do it. He was just choosing not to,” the client snorts.
The team continues to toss the ball sometimes speeding up and sometimes slowing down.
Team member “What do you think your horse was telling you when he didn't lift his foot and walked away ?”
The client glares at the team member. “You’re saying this is my fault?”
Team member, “No, I didn’t say that. I know from your perspective you feel your horse is being stubborn and uncooperative on purpose. What do you think your horse’s experience might be?”
The client and team continue to toss the ball. As the client’s body regulates, their horse comes closer and watches the action.
“You’re saying he may think I am an ass?”
Team member, “I am not saying that. If he thinks you are an ass why did he come back over here?”
Client turns and looks over at the gelding. Client appears surprised by how close the horse is standing.
Team member, “I am wondering if there may be a different reason he was having a hard time lifting his foot. What do you think it might be like for him to let you hold his foot?”
Taking another’s perspective is hard and it is essential for healthy relationships. This client is assuming negative intent of their horse’s behavior and the client has not stopped to consider that there could be a good reason their horse is struggling to lift his foot. Seeing the world from another’s perspective is a skill that we can develop that will enhance our relationships.
