Bec Wild - Women's Self Mastery Coach, Howard Springs, Darwin (2025)

30/08/2025

It’s Saturday morning, the kids are with their father or with Grandparents and I was on my way to the uni library to study.

I just parked at a place to get a coffee right near the uni thinking oh that's great, it’s so convenient. I got out of the car and my air pods case fell out of my lap and straight down a drain. Like perfectly lined up hole in one.

I just stand there for a moment looking at it, visible but well out of reach. Step one, google how much a replacement one is. Step two decide to come back tomorrow with the boys and set them the challenge of retrieving it. Right up Ace’s alley.

In the mean time, I’ll go and have a coffee.

So I go into this coffee shop for the first time ever and it's really nice and the woman was really friendly and said why don't you read some of the history on the walls while you wait.

She's a 5th generation Territorian and there are newspaper articles, photos, etc. of her family's history on the wall. The headline if the article from 1923 was, ‘I married the right wife’. I thought, oh that’s a nice and direct little bit of affirmation of something that I’ve been feeling lately.

She then went on to explain that her eldest son can't walk, talk or see so she's become immersed in the carer/NDIS space and owns three other houses along the street where different things operate from like overnight respite for high dependency care, etc. They employ people with disabilities at their cafe but only 1 or 2 per shift so it's not a 'manufactured' environment but an actual workplace where they get paid award wages.

I thanked her for the coffee and for sharing a bit about her life with me and we discussed the importance of knowing your roots and history and I left.

And suddenly the air pod case down the drain didn’t really matter any more.

When I take the view that everything that happens in life is on purpose and nothing is by accident, every little thing feels so miraculous, sometimes frighteningly jarring and somtimes unbelievably comical in its intentionality but always meaningful and always reminding me to trust.

28/08/2025

What a time I’m in. What a time we’re all in.

One mind bending occurrence after another. The other night Courtenay and I were walking at the beach at sunset, just us, with the knowledge that we were going to be having our first night at home together without any children since Phoenix was born. We were discussing it all and how our human brains can only comprehend so much. We think we’re so clever, wise and insightful but really our capacity for knowing and understanding the deeper meanings, the ways of the world, the secrets of the universe, the will of God, is so primitive.

We are but mere mortals and it seems that the more serendipitous, uncanny, unfathomable and nonsensical the events around me are, the more I find myself needing to surrender to that. I am clearly not in control. And the more I loosen my grip on how I think things should be, the more I can see that things unfold exactly as they are meant to. I hear gentle whispers on the breeze, in the rustling of the leaves saying,

Trust me.

And so I trust. And that’s not easy. It’s a moment by moment practice, letting go of control, brining myself back to trust. Over and over.

I feel like I am clay and I am being moulded, shaped and refined with each devastating occurrence, each moment of simple joy, each strange or joyful or meaningful interaction, each sunset or bright star or beautiful flower or sparkling smile truly noticed, each arrival of grief, each expression of raw human emotion witnessed or experienced. And I feel like the more I surrender to the fact that I do not control these things, the more they feel so purposeful, so poignant, and somehow, so divinely placed.

The more I stop spinning in circles in the microscopic chaos of my tiny life, the more time I spend seeing the bigger picture.

And it's quite a magnificent view.

Devastating, overwhelming, beautiful and simple, all at the same time.

28/08/2025

This is for me today. I wanted to share it because maybe it's for you too.

Trusting in the seasons, the changes, the deaths, the rebirths.

Sometimes it's hard to trust but gee things feel lighter when I loosen my grip and really lean into it.

With love x

27/08/2025

You know when you find something lurking around in there in the murky waters between thought and feeling, not quite clear, and then suddenly you find words for it and it takes shape? That happened the other morning when I realised that with all of the depth of feeling I’ve been having lately. Loss after loss, creeping closer and closer to my field. Grief quietly, loudly actually, making itself known, I’ve also been feeling more peace, more tiny moments of joy and more presence.

I’ve been more present and patient with my children, more present with the small things going on around me, having more delightful interactions with strangers, seeing more beauty in nature and feeling more gratitude for what I have in my life.

I realised that in order to stretch into the light and warm and beautiful corners of human existence, we also must push into the dark and tumultuous and heavy corners. It’s the light and dark thing again, in order to access the light, the dark must also be there. To equal measure it seems.

It’s kind of lame to bring high school physics into the conversation but on a really basic level - ‘For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’, Newton’s third law. For each stretch into the incredible peace that is available, there is an equal stretch into unfathomable pain. It also reaches into Taoism, Jungian psychology and quantum physics. All of these different streams of thought and theory mention the same thing just in different ways.

One of the challenges I guess is to develop the capacity to hold it all. How can we hold those vast and distant polar extremes at the same time? Or maybe it’s not as hard as it looks. Because you can’t have one without the other, maybe they’re actually closer than we think and can both be gently held, right next to each other, just there in our hearts.

Here are me and Pix having an impromptu babycino that brought both of us joy. Something I've never done with any of my other kids. Benefits of being the littlest of many?

26/08/2025

Another beautiful mother loses her precious baby. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces for her as she walks this path of unthinkable grief.

And these are just the women in my sphere who I know and love. There are billions of other mothers around the world.

My mind and heart then expands to each one of them who today, loses her baby, loses her child, hears the diagnosis, screams in horror at the truth of what has just happened, holds her lifeless child in her arms, feels the lead weight of loss drop into her broken heart.

And when I consider oneness, that I am her and she is me, it’s no wonder I feel her grief as such a jagged blade through my soul.

To be a mother is to say yes to ultimate love and also to the possibility of ultimate suffering. We can’t say yes to one without saying yes to the other.

What brave creatures mothers are, to take that risk.

If you’re reading this and you’re a mother, I see you. I see you as you walk this incredible path of joy and sorrow. Never knowing what tomorrow will bring.

24/08/2025

Feeling so grateful in this moment. The noise of 10 kids around the place. Dishes, washing, yard work, chickens, preparing food, music. Nothing else is needed.

Oh how the stretches onto the deep and tumultuous recesses of human life allow me to equally expand into increasing peace and gratitude, and dare I say it, joy.

23/08/2025

Life has brought so many contrasts, challenges and raw realities lately and I got some mail today which is kind of a hilarious and accurate contrast distilling the different angles of me that are all true.

I received a medical text book, Murtagh’s General Practice, full of equal measures of helpful diagnostic insights and utter bu****it that I will no doubt find exceedingly helpful through my medical studies and placements.

I also received two beautiful new oracle card decks by Rebecca Campbell whose work I adore and whose mystical insights I find so comforting, challenging and relevant.

I’ll be exploring both of my new purchases today as I spend time both writing about my deep feelings and explorations of the complexity of life and going through this weeks content as I round up semester 2 course work and assignment submissions.

Right now life feels full of so much grief and suffering and loss and so much love and peace and hope. The contrasts are breathtaking.

I’m in the psychiatry block of study right now. It feels very fitting.

14/08/2025

My ponderings on Phoenix leaving our bed 🥲

'The contradictions of motherhood are exhausting. I have spent years looking forward to sleeping in a bed without a child kicking, coughing, rolling around and hitting me in the face, imagining this hypothetical freedom, and now the time has come and I don’t want it. I’m not ready for this next big step in the growing up of my babies. '

The rest is here:

http://www.becwild.com.au/blog/motherhood-a-continual-process-of-letting-go-one-small-moment-at-a-time

12/08/2025

When you feel truly seen by a book.

You know that heart opening and heart breaking moment when you finish a book that you know has just changed your life?

That just happened to me.

Today I finished Gina Chick’s ‘We are the stars’ and I am different now. I walked with her on her journey through a bold and colourful and tragic life full of poetic story telling and deep grief and I am changed. The way she wrote spoke directly to my soul.

She gave words to things I didn’t yet have words for and has opened doorways that I yearn to walk through. She also opened doorways I hope never to walk through.

During the most devastating parts of her story the thought that kept coming to mind was, ‘There but for the grace of God goes I’. At any moment, that could be me. At any moment the illusion of safety and security I have woven around myself could be pulled from under my feet. Would I be ready? Of course not. No one would be. But could I trust the process enough to just hold on through anything? To surrender to the truth of what is and let myself be tumbled by the wild floodwaters of life knowing that drowning doesn’t have to be the final outcome?

I feel like I’ve been on a retreat of deep unearthing and delving into the darkest corners and now I need time to integrate.

To bring more wildness. To allow more time communing with the vast and immense emptiness of space and time and shadows in the dark of night and the intense perfection of the tiniest wildflower on a backdrop of dazzling sunshine and peace. To slow my mind in the presence and reverence of my divine children, to really see the sparkle in their eyes, to hear the music of their voices, to feel the warmth of their little bodies in my embrace, my only real and direct legacy on this earthly plane.

Read it and tell me how you go. Listen to it actually, she reads it like poetry.

And now I have to find another book to read! I don't know how to top that one.

08/08/2025

The other night we were sitting outside and had some music on. The little girls wanted to do a dance performance for us.

They kind of fumbled their way through at the start then Summer started just moving and dancing and twirling and jumping and it was one of the most magical things I've ever seen.

This little girl of mine really moving just the way her body wanted to. I had tears in my eyes as I watched her, this sparkling little fairy girl.

She was so happy, so full of genuine joy and I suddenly realised, this was medicine for her.

And then I remembered it's actually medicine for all of us. Not dancing necessarily but instinctive movement. Allowing our bodies to move in ways they need to to keep the energy moving, not stuck.

The wisdom of children never ceases to delight me and humble me.

And the way they can bring joy and elicit pure presence simply by being makes my tears flow like rivers.

04/08/2025

Public shout out to this fabulous woman who single-handedly took 6 of our kids camping on the weekend to the folk festival.

You're amazing.

Blended families are a lot of work. Being a step parent is a lot of work. But I think we're onto something. It's like a mini village village within our home. And we all know it takes a village to do anything in life really.

Today we were discussing what elder life will look like, God willing, and we both narrowed down to the same simple dream. A comfy chair, a cup of tea and a book shelf full of good books.

Life is so complicated and yet so simple.

Thank you my love for everything you do and everything you are. I am so lucky!

03/08/2025

I was sitting here at my computer learning about eye anatomy, visual fields, cones and rods, cranial nerves, etc... and the roosters start going bezerk so I look out and there’s a bird of prey perched on the chook yard fence eyeing off the chicks so I run outside to scare it off then run back to take off my ugg boots (it was 24 degrees C this morning…), go back out then run back again to put the cocktail on my shoulder inside in case it gets swooped by the bird then run back out again but I’m too late. I see a little flash of a black chick running, a swoop, a billow of dust then off goes the bird with the chick.

I shut them all in to their respective houses (the Quack Shack and the Egg Hut, the Silkie Lodge is already enclosed) and make sure they’ve got food and water inside.

Then I notice the watering that needs doing so get the sprinklers going on the veggie patches then move the other hoses so more baby trees get some water.

The sun is just the right, satisfying and life affirming level of hot. I feel it nourish my skin, my eyeballs and my soul. The grass crackles underfoot. We’re a few months into the dry season so whatever isn’t intentionally watered is dead and dry, except where there seem to be water leaks…we need to sort that out.

I put a few palm fronds on the fire pit, the kids can light it up later.

By the time I’ve done all that I go back around to the hoses and move them all again.

I look around at our place, the patch of Larrakia country we are stewarding for this chapter of life and feel grateful.

Life is so complicated and yet, so simple.

I love the tiny moments, the little split seconds where I realise how simple it really is. It’s usually when I’m barefoot outside tending to the earth or out camping in the bush with nowhere to be and nothing to do.

Now back inside to the computer and eyes and thinking.

The contrast is disorienting and its hard to refocus.

I’m on a bit of a mission to find a way to combine my love of the complicated and the simple.

To understand the huge avalanches of grief and anxiety and depression and the simple dewdrops of peace and gratitude.

The contrasts are both jarring and magnificent.

Bec Wild - Women's Self Mastery Coach

30/08/2025

28/08/2025

28/08/2025

27/08/2025

26/08/2025

24/08/2025

23/08/2025

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