Consciousness Formula

14/03/2026

13/03/2026

09/03/2026

Practitioners in the family violence sector regularly sit with complex, confronting, and sometimes volatile situations. Working with men who use violence involves supporting them to examine their behaviour, holding them accountable, and helping them recognise patterns that cause harm to others.

Sometimes the abuse does not stay within their family. It can be directed at practitioners.

Abusive messages, intimidation, threats, and manipulation are not uncommon in behaviour change work. When this happens, services face a difficult balance. We want men to stay engaged in programs that aim to create safer outcomes for women and children. But tolerating abusive behaviour towards practitioners risks reinforcing the very dynamics we are trying to change.

Leadership can also be placed in a challenging position, balancing staff safety while still clearly calling out abusive behaviour. Protecting staff and maintaining practice integrity is complex, but both must coexist.

If abusive behaviour is minimised or ignored to “keep the peace”, it can unintentionally send the message that intimidation works. In a field built on accountability, that creates a contradiction.

How services respond sends a powerful message about what behaviour is acceptable.

Holding boundaries does not mean escalating conflict. It means responding consistently with the principles we teach:
- Name abusive behaviour
- Keep responsibility with the person who used it
- Prioritise staff safety
- Maintain clear professional boundaries
- Protect a healthy workplace culture

Men in behaviour change programs watch how systems respond. Our responses become part of the intervention itself.

Clear boundaries and consistent accountability reinforce a simple message: abuse and intimidation are not acceptable ways of relating to others.

01/03/2026

Sunday… funday…

01/03/2026

Sunday…. Funday

25/02/2026

Why are some people stuck❓

The limitation of traditional talking therapy is that it primarily operates at the level of thoughts and emotions. You discuss what you think, how you feel, where those patterns originated, and you learn to cognitively reframe them.

🤷🏽‍♂️ here is the limitation.

Beliefs and thoughts are not the deepest layer of the system.

Underneath thoughts is conditioning.
Underneath conditioning is the nervous system.

If someone “believes” they are safe but their nervous system is in chronic fight-or-flight, the body will override that belief every time.
It’s similar to an outdated program running on your computer. At one point in your life that program served you, but not anymore. It became a problem now. It needs to be updated.

You can cognitively understand:
“I’m not in danger.”
But if your nervous system has encoded threat, abandonment, shame, or chaos your body will still react as if it’s happening now.

That’s why insight alone doesn’t equal change.

Many clinicians focus on cognitive restructuring:
- Identify distorted thinking
- Challenge it
- Replace it

Its Important.
Necessary.
BUT
Not sufficient.

If the autonomic nervous system is dysregulated, the person will keep recycling the same patterns, just with better language.

You can explain your trauma beautifully and still be run by it.

Going deeper means working at the level of:
➖ Somatic memory
➖ Implicit conditioning
➖ Emotional regulation capacity
➖ Nervous system recalibration

When you learn to regulate the nervous system, you don’t have to “force” new beliefs.
Your system becomes available for new learning.

☀️ This is where real rewiring happens.

Surface work changes thoughts.
Deeper work changes state.
State change changes behaviour sustainably.

If you keep on talking about the problem, you are strengthening the neural pathway of the problem. It’s similar to riding a bicycle, the more you ride it better you get.

If you are working with the body and the nervous system, you are creating new pathways.

Beliefs matter.
But the body decides what feels true.

25/02/2026

Why surface work doesn’t help❓

You can explain what happened.
You can name your triggers.
You can talk about why you behave the way you behave…

And still you react the same way.

👉🏽 That’s surface work.

It feels productive.
It sounds insightful.
It gives you validation.
But your nervous system hasn’t changed.

It’s like saying you want to learn how to swim… but only dipping your feet in the water.
You understand the ocean.
You study it.
You analyse it.
You watch video about it.
But you never step inside for your body to learn to swim.

Talking about the problem is not the same as changing the pattern.

Many clinicians focus on helping people understand their behaviour.
Insight matters.
Psycho education matters.
Clarity matters.

But they dont rewire a dysregulated nervous system.
They don’t help you change your Patterns.

Your survival responses:
- fight,
- flight,
- freeze,
- fawn
were wired…

They live in the body. When you feel threatened, your body reacts before logic steps in.
They can manifests as:
Anger
Depression
Anxiety
Panic attack
Self worth issues
OCD
Addictions
And many more…

If awareness was enough, you would have changed already.

Real change happens when you:
• Regulate your nervous system
• Stay with discomfort instead of avoiding it
• Practice new responses repeatedly
• Create new experiences of safety

✅ That’s depth work.

Surface work keeps you informed.
Depth work changes your wiring.

You don’t need more insight.
You need integration.

Send me a message if you’re ready for deep work.

Love,
Haran

11/02/2026

𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

It’s easy to include the nice parts of life as “me.”

Love.
Kindness.
Cute moments.
Good people.
Beauty….
We say, “That’s us.”

But when we see the ugly violence,
war,
cruelty,
horror
abuse - we say, “That’s them.”

That separation is where suffering starts.

The other day my friend said to me, “You see all this horror in the world…” he was talking about Epstein.
And I said, “What part of us is doing this, and for what purpose? If reality is oneness, what is this showing us? What are the learnings for us?”

Whn you experience oneness, you’ll really see that there aren’t two or many. There is 𝐎𝐍𝐄 appearing as 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐘.

Like the ocean appearing as waves…
Some waves are gentle.
Some are destructive.
But all are still water.

Here’s the important part: oneness is not “accepting wrongdoing.”
It’s not approval.

Oneness is accurate perception.
And from accurate perception, right action becomes clearer.

When harm happens, we address it.
We set boundaries.
We protect.
We intervene.
We hold people accountable.

But we do it without the poison of “they are outside of us.”

Ignorance creates violence.
And
Disconnection creates cruelty.

💙Oneness is unconditional love.

Not romantic love.
Not “be nice.”
Unconditional love means nothing is excluded from awareness.

It says: “Even this darkness belongs in the field of truth, so it can be seen clearly and transformed.”

Separation says: “They are monsters.”
Oneness says: “This is what forgetfulness looks like, now act wisely.”

When you see from oneness, you still act, even strongly, but without hatred, without dehumanising, without losing your centre.

That’s ONENESS in real life

Love,
Haran

08/02/2026

04/02/2026

01/02/2026

Spent Sunday having fun and switching off. Archery with a few friends, good laughs, and enjoying the moment.