Consciousness Formula

15/12/2025

What happened in Bondi is sitting heavy in my heart.

Having lived through war and witnessed loss, and then coming to Australia as an asylum seeker, I don’t take safety for granted. I love this country and feel deeply grateful for the life I have here.

At the core, we all share the same need for safety, belonging, care and dignity.

Moments like this remind me how important it is to come together with compassion, rather than division.

💐💙 My heart is with everyone affected.

29/11/2025

28/11/2025

I took part in the Walk Against Family Violence today, alongside more than 10,000 people.

In Victoria, this walk is a key event during the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence – a global campaign focused on preventing and ending violence against women.

It was powerful to stand with so many individuals, families, and organisations committed to creating safer communities. Ending family violence requires all of us, and today was a strong reminder of what we can achieve when we come together.

19/11/2025

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐧’𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲: 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 “𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐨𝐱”

Today is International Men’s Day, a moment to reflect.
For generations, boys and men have been shaped by the unspoken rules of the “man box”:
- Don’t show weakness.
- Stay in control.
- Sort it out yourself.
- Don’t talk about feelings.
- Be successful

Anger is acceptable, vulnerability is not.

These beliefs don’t make men stronger, they make them silent and often detached.

When emotions are pushed down long enough, they often come out through aggression, defensiveness, shutting down, or other harmful behaviours. Not because men are “bad” or “toxic,” but because they were never given safe pathways to express or reflect on their trauma, fear, grief, stress, or shame.

Aggression is often unspoken pain.
Defensiveness is often fear of not being enough.
Silence is often protection from judgment.

When men are given space to talk honestly, without pressure to “perform” masculinity, something powerful shifts.
👉🏽 Connection grows.
👉🏽 Responsibility becomes grounded.
👉🏽 Harmful behaviours begin to change.

Healthy masculinity is not about being aggressive or invulnerable.
It’s about the courage to take responsibility, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and stepping outside the limits of the man box.

Today, I acknowledge the men who are learning to become the best version of themselves, unlearning what they learned from the patriarchy and our society about what it means to be a man, and choosing growth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Let’s keep creating spaces where men can show up as their full, human selves.

Happy International Men’s Day

14/11/2025

04/11/2025

💔𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚
Trauma isn’t always loud or obvious. It can quietly shape how we think, feel, and respond to life, often without us realising it.

It can look like…
- Feeling uneasy when things are going well
- Guilt for resting or relaxing
- Changing yourself to avoid conflict
- Avoiding silence because it feels unsafe - Refusing help because you’ve learned to survive alone
- Downplaying dreams to avoid disappointment
- Carrying tension in your body without knowing why
- Escaping into daydreams just to cope

As Dr. Bessel van der Kolk says in The Body Keeps the Score, “The body keeps the score, it remembers what the mind forgets.”
But new research from trauma experts like Dr. Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory) and Dr. Peter Levine reminds us that we don’t always need to revisit or analyse the past to heal. We don’t have to keep talking about it to heal. There are new tools available.

True healing happens when our nervous system learns to feel safe in the present moment.

Healing isn’t about reliving the story, it’s about helping the body remember that it’s safe to live now.💙
☀️Rise & Thrive💙

31/10/2025

Gratitude like this reminds me why I do what I do.
Seeing clients grow, heal, and find peace in their everyday lives is truly fulfilling. It’s not just about overcoming challenges, it’s about becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Every moment of awareness, reflection, and self-compassion adds up to lasting transformation. 🙏🏽✨

30/10/2025

❤️

28/10/2025

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱.

Working in the family violence sector, I often see this, many people believe that being “right” will bring resolution.

But every time we try to be “right”, we are directly or indirectly saying, “Who you are or how you feel right now isn’t acceptable until it matches my view.”

True connection requires letting go of the need to win. When you stay focused on winning the argument, you lose that relationship.

We often think that, if we can just explain clearly enough, argue well enough, or fix what’s wrong, the relationship will finally feel safe again.

But relationships aren’t built through logic, they’re built through connection.

👉🏽When we focus on being right, we stop listening.
👉🏽When we focus on fixing, we stop seeing.
❓What are the impacts of this on your partner and your relationship?

The need to fix often comes from discomfort, our nervous system feels unsettled by someone else’s pain or difference. So we reach for control instead of curiosity.

When you invite curiosity and empathy, you choose understanding and connection.

Healthy relationships aren’t about agreement, they’re about safety, empathy, connection and the willingness to stay open even when it’s uncomfortable.

☀️Rise & Thrive💙

27/10/2025

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗱.

Many people try to build self-worth through constant achievement, working harder, giving more, helping everyone else first.

It works for a while.
Until exhaustion sets in… and the question quietly appears: 👉🏽 “When is it ever enough?”

The truth is, self-worth doesn’t grow through performance.
💥 It grows through alignment, when what you do matches who you know yourself to be.

Building genuine self-worth involves:
👉🏽 Honouring your boundaries instead of people-pleasing.
👉🏽 Valuing rest and reflection as much as productivity.
👉🏽 Recognising that your worth isn’t measured by output, but by presence, integrity, and growth.

When we stop chasing worthiness, our nervous system finds rhythm.
We start creating, leading, and connecting from stability -not survival.

You don’t need to prove your value.
You need to remember it.

🤔 What’s one way you can honour your self-worth this week❓

25/10/2025

𝗧𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮, 𝗩𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗦𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺

When I was in supervision a few years ago, one of my clinical supervisors encouraged me to study Polyvagal Theory. It changed the way I understood trauma and human behaviour.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗦𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺

💙 Ventral Vagal – Safety & Connection. We can connect, empathise, and communicate clearly. This is where growth, accountability, and repair happen.

♨️ Sympathetic – Fight or Flight
When our system detects threat, it prepares to protect. Many people who use violence live in this high-alert state, reacting from fear, not awareness.

🥹 Dorsal Vagal – Shutdown / Freeze
When fight or flight isn’t possible, the body collapses into withdrawal or numbness. In relationships, this might show up as emotional distance or disconnection.

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗥𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆
Healing begins by teaching the body that it’s safe again. Some of the approaches and tools I integrate include:
• 🧘🏽‍♂️ Grounding, Breathwork & Mindfulness – evidence-based techniques that activate the vagus nerve and stabilise the body.

• 💬 Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) – helps clients notice thoughts that fuel anxiety, shame, or anger and reframe them through awareness.

• 👁️ Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing (EMDR) – supports trauma processing and nervous system regulation.

• 🤲🏽 Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) – gentle tapping combined with awareness helps discharge emotional intensity.

• 🫱🏽‍🫲🏾 Co-regulation – safety in human connection; healing the nervous system through trust and relational presence.

• 🚶🏽 Gentle Movement & Body Awareness - yoga, walking, stretching to release energy and restore balance.

𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗥𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
Polyvagal Theory taught me that true healing doesn’t begin in the mind, it begins in the body.

When we work with the nervous system, people can move from:
Fear to safety,
Control to connection, and
Survival to growth.

☀️Rise & Thrive 💙

21/10/2025

𝐈𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬❓

Your brain is constantly rewiring itself, a process called neuroplasticity. Every repeated thought or behaviour strengthens neural pathways, turning patterns into habits. Whether it’s stress, self-doubt, or confidence, your brain simply reinforces what you practise most.

That’s why behaviour change isn’t just about willpower. It’s about rewiring your brain. Through reflection, repetition, consistent action, affirmations, and visualisation, you create new neural pathways that make positive behaviours feel natural over time.

This isn’t motivation, it’s neuroscience.

Your mind is always wiring your future based on what you focus on and how you behave.

Source: National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) — “Neuroplasticity and Brain Rewiring.”