Holyoake Harmony (2026)

19/12/2022

The Paradox of Tenderness...

It has been 2 years of scrutiny as I climb the mountain towards attaining my Master's... 30 fortnightly essays submitted, each with critical feedback provided, 100's of journal articles consumed, countless hours of reflecting, & discussing difficult topics... Wrestling with not knowing so much & wanting to absorb much more... Tenderly I often reminded myself of wise words once shared, 'If we knew how challenging ventures would be before we began them, would we have commenced?'...

There are so many paradoxes in life, like to reach the best view we need to climb steep slopes... As Socrates surmised the more we learn, the more we don't know... The more scared we are of something, the more we should walk towards the fear... The more times we have failed, the more we are likely to succeed through adversity... The more strongly we dislike a trait in another, the more likely we struggle with it in ourselves... The more we try to convince someone of our perspective, the less likely they are to listen...

What are some of your favourite paradoxes?

One of my favourite recent readings, which felt like being rewarded with a wonderfully refreshing swim in the most private picturesque space after a long hike in the heat was about tenderness... The author McMillan speaks of the either-or trap of a paradox that offers no gain only judgement... Tenderness, he describes as a quality able to liberate paradox by harmoniously holding supposed contradiction such as being both strong & weak, fragile & resilient... We all have light & shadow, can be the best versions of ourselves & the worst sometimes within 24 hours, often with the people we love most...

So this festive season, whether you be celebrating a white or warm Christmas, Hanukkah's festival of lights, or your own unique Cultural Fusion created via generations of global relationships & relocations... May you all be at peace in yourself no matter what paradoxes you are experiencing & try embracing the concept of Tenderness... Being able to hold opposites in our heartminds so that we can all be more fully, genuinely & unconditionally accepting of ourselves & others at this time of year...

12/12/2022

Colours of Compassion...

I always feel like taking some extra time to notice the roses at this time of year is essential... It seems like the festive season frenzy is already in full swing, people are holidaying, socialising & shopping has become a priority... This is why slowing down to take it all in is equally essential, there can be so much going on that we can forget to notice all the hues & colours all the variety of aromas being emitted by each rose... Forget to be present at each event & interaction we encounter...

Practising compassion is equally essential at this time of year... I have been fascinated by values over the past few years, if you have never identified your values I highly recommend it... Brene Brown's website has a resource where you slowly wean down the list to identify your most essential dozen to your number one, it is not an easy task... On a recent 3-day intensive we did this exercise, your list may change, so it's always great to revisit & refine your list... My number one value is 'Compassion'...

What is your top value?

It is important to know your values so that you live them daily, as Brene Brown states so that "we are clear about what we believe and hold important, and we take care that our intentions, words, thoughts, and behaviours align with those beliefs"... It is also said that people are not in conflict their values are in opposition... If one person values 'Connection' then being at every social event will be essential, but if their partner values 'Peace' then maybe being in their home sanctuary will be what they need...

For me, compassion is the value I work with constantly both within myself for all my inner struggles, and in my work with people & the planet... Zen Roshi Joan Halifax is one of my favourite writers on compassion who defines it as “the capacity to attend to the experience of others, to feel concern for others, to be able to really sense into what will serve others”... So at this time of year I remember that whilst for the fortunate the festive season is magical, for some there is the reality of grief, lack, estrangement or illness... Compassion to me means being attuned to the full spectrum...

05/12/2022

Green Leaf Comparison...

Which size & shaped leaf is the best, the most attractive or distinguished of leaves? Which could be described as the most accomplished, dedicated or successful of a green leaf? Each tree species has its own very distinctive green leaf decoration, all five of these deciduous tree leaves have the same sunlight-collecting purpose... Each green leaf is both simultaneously similar & very different...

The leaves of each tree have distinctly varied dimensions from the slender hanging willow tree leaves to the voluptuous shading plane tree leaves... They all move differently in the same breeze from the fluttering ginkgo butterfly leaves to the floating stars of the liquid amber tree... The shade of green and the veined patterning of the leaves is distinct, even on one tree, each family of leaves has enormous variability... So which leaf is the penultimate?

You may have already noticed a subtle preference arising in your mind... Maybe a memory of an old oak tree automatically makes us fond of oak leaves, or the powerful medicine contained within ginkgo biloba's maidenhair may evoke admiration... Our minds are constantly, automatically, often unconsciously contrasting & sorting everything we experience to our whole life of experiences... Becoming aware of how we compare is important...

The 'Social Comparison Theory' developed in the 1950s by Leon Festinger... Demonstrated how our minds need an external reference to compare our self-image to in terms of attractiveness, wealth, intelligence & success... And that this innate trait can be potentially aspirational, inspiring & motivational, or self-destructive, diminishing & demeaning to ourselves & others... We can compare upwards or downwards, beneficially or negatively...

Firstly we need to acknowledge that comparing is happening... There may be certain areas of your life that you are more or less prone to destructive self-comparison, whether for you that be body image, age, health, achievements, work, wealth, family or relationship domains... Notice your comparison tendencies & commence changing the narrative from lack to abundance, defeat to desire, from greater than to grateful for...

29/11/2022

Life Ladder from Fear to Courage...

Every step we climb on the life ladder is a courageous step to feel the fear of climbing a little higher in our lives, to expand at our uncomfortable edges of personal growth... To be willing to reach for the sun & stars so that we might shine a little brighter in the world every single day... At times we may slide down the rungs or in certain situations find our radiance dimming... And we can continue to say to fear I am going to keep climbing anyway...

In Dr Lissa Rankin's book 'The Fear Cure' she shares that fear in all its multivariable faces is an overt or subtle precursor to stress... That fear can not only immobilise, stunt or prohibit our life growth, our potentiality... The systemic stress response it creates within us can also predispose us to minor & major illnesses, as well as interrupt our innate healing processes... And that we can cultivate antidotes to fear, can discover what we need to overcome fear-based limitations within ourselves & lives...

The elderflower is a symbol of power & protection, having elements that are both strong medicine & potent toxins... Fear is like this both a force to save our lives & a potential negative debilitator of living life fully... Unfortunately, we are also continually exposed to 24/7 news cycles of living in a hostile world & negative forecasts... Consumeristic marketing drives us to believe that we don't have enough, aren't enough... Scarcity mentality instead of abundant appreciation for all that we have & are...

Every time we find a way to look our fears in the face, to change the personal & collective narratives from living in a hostile deficit universe to a purposeful awe-inspiring world of plenty... Every small or tall life ladder we can climb with an open-minded curiosity to greater potential will find us gathering medicinal life flowers at our feet so that we may climb the next ladder... Strengthen our choice to not be belittled or darkened by fear but brightened by happily thriving to share sunshine & light in the world...

21/11/2022

Age is Gorgeousness & Wisdom...

The oldest trees are undeniably the most magnificent... It is not their slender perfection or smooth veneer that makes them so magnanimous... It is their mighty aged trunks, deeply grooved skins, myriad learned limbs, their visible torsions & characteristic scar... It is their hundreds or thousands of years of living that make them exquisitely glorious to behold...

So I am not quite sure when human ageing became ugly to many... When our characteristic facial lines were to be ejected, greying hair became unsightly, when scarred bodies became things to hide... When decades of accumulated learning either formally through ever higher education or through continuing to open to growth-inspiring life experiences... When women especially became less attractive, wonderful, wise & witty with every year...

In the case of trees, researchers around the world are discovering how much these ancient beings hold within their extensive root memories... Peter Wohlleben's book "The Hidden Life of Trees" says being an ancient tree doesn't mean being weak or fragile, bowed or in decline...The opposite is true with stores of energy to share with the young surrounding them... They hold the memories of fires & floods, famines & droughts, disease & devastation...

One of my favourite trees of Holyoake Harmony is the fallen stream tree... I remember arriving & an exacerbated neighbour telling me the tree had fallen over two years ago, that it is ugly & needs to be cleared from the property, I replied that I liked it... I have tended to the branches of this tree every year since... I find it the most elegant reminder that the elements of the universe can knock you down, sometimes so hard that you may not ever be the same again, but you can keep on growing...

I wish we could all honour & respect the wise beauty of ageing... That those of us in the second halves of our lives could love our bodies, hearts, minds & spirits more with every year of life... Knowing that within our bones & essence there is so much more to offer to the world with discerning age precisely because of the accumulated entirely of our lives...

What do you love about ageing?

14/11/2022

The Gestalt of a Poppy...

The radiance of this purple poppy could not possibly be attributed to any of its individual attributes or elements... Not the regal petal colouration, nor the delicately ruffled leaves, or elegantly nodding buds on slender stems... Not the milky painted stamens dancing around the irresistible pollinator attracting bright yellow pistil...

The flower is not only the single seed from which its first tiny leaves came bursting from beneath the soil... Not its roots within the earth providing minerals & stability, not the strong central trunk transporting fluids & signals, energy & information, up & down, directing its development... The exquisiteness of the flower is not only from the rainwater it drinks or the sunshine from which it miraculously makes sugar energy to grow & bloom...

The term Gestalt, a word of German origin means the form & patterned configuration of a thing being put together... It has become a psychological term for the whole being much more than any single element, or sum of separate parts... A Gestalt is the particular quality of wholeness, the greater understanding gained when not focusing on the microscopy of separate parts... Plus the deeper awareness that simply arranging pieces together does not make them whole... Integrated, unified, wholeness is more...

The entirety of any single object, event, situation, interaction, relationship, human... Can not be defined or described by a single moment in time, minute detail or particular attribute... Every single thing & being, plant & animal, human & elemental is a complex, ever-evolving sum of the entirety of its life story from conception to dissolution... And the whole picturesque experience is so much more poignantly rich, tenderly textured & vibrant wonderous than any singularity...

We must remember this continually in our own lives, our relationships, and perceptions of others... So often we focus on one event that has occurred, one aspect of ourselves or another person... A single situation or event that forms fixed beliefs about ourselves, our lives, other people, and the world in which we live... Actually, the nature of time, space & reality means there is always so much more occurring, often we are not even aware of how much greater & vaster the whole is... When we practice opening our hearts & minds to seeing further & broader... This is where we open into the vaster world of wonderous wisdom & limitless possibility...

What makes you appreciate wholeness?

07/11/2022

Dadirri Deep Listening...

The word Dadirri is an ancient Aboriginal Australian concept from the remote Northern Territory for a kind of Deep Healing Listening... Dadirri is described as heart-based listening, which witnesses without judgement and shares genuine relational empathy... Dadirri requires that we first listen to our inner self, and take responsibility for all our internal responses, only then can we begin truly listening...

Most of the time when we are listening to another we are actually listening to the multiple voices within our minds... The accumulated associated memories of a person known or stranger and their toned words... The chatter of personal assessments & assumptions, preferences & prejudices drowns out the word being shared as we wait to speak all the thoughts feelings & reactions that arise within us...

This is not listening, this is simply wanting to give sound to our opinions & judgements...

It takes consistent effort, and disciplined practice to listen well... It requires cultivating the ability to quiet our minds so that we can hear another, feel the emotive essence beyond the words being shared...

Dadirri is cultivated through stillness and immersing ourselves in quietude...

Taking some time daily to remove ourselves from all the external distractions & demands, so that we may find ways to quieten & still ourselves internally is becoming ever more important in the world...

In a world that is becoming ever noisier with device notifications, aggressive with information sharing, limitless streaming & scrolling.

I am advocating for the attributes of becoming humbly quieter, more peaceful, gentle, caring, kind & loving within the world... To relearn the wisdom of genuine listening, daily applying ourselves to become better, deeper heart listeners, essential Dadirri listeners in the world...

What helps you to listen better?

31/10/2022

Experience Awe Buzzing all Around...

Julia Baird's book Phosphorescence divinely describes & researches how essential the qualities of awe & wonder are in our lives...

Awe is not about astonishing unforgettable life events, sights or experiences, although of course, they are a part of living an awe-inspired life...

Awe can be found daily in the simple delights of seeing a bee besotted by nectar within an orange blossom, or savouring the intoxication of any bloom...

Taking the time to notice the exquisite colours of a flower or an image, plus the details of insects resting within petals or the feelings evoked by awe...

Awe has been defined as the experience of seeing something unfathomable or greater than yourself... Insects are small yet their significance is enormous...

Studies on awe have shown us that it can make us more patient, less irritable, more humble, creative and curious... We can all choose to look for awe...

When we allow ourselves to experience awe, we are taken out of our egoic view of our lives into being in the present moment...

When we are in the present moment our perception is brighter, decision-making clearer... In the present, we are not living repetitively from the past or projecting into the future...

Presence is simply going from flower to flower, collecting sweet nectar, making us feel more contented... Further, people who regularly feel awe are more likely to be generous, kind, altruistic, ethical & relaxed...

What are your daily awe-spirations?

24/10/2022

Final Burning of the Year...

24/10/2022

Letting Go to Renew...

Holyoake Harmony

19/12/2022

12/12/2022

05/12/2022

29/11/2022

21/11/2022

14/11/2022

07/11/2022

31/10/2022

24/10/2022

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