Rita Downie - Counsellor and Life Coach

11/04/2022

July 2021 I said goodbye to my husband, partner and best friend.
He past away at home surround by family.
I have been told that grief takes as long as it takes.
Never be afraid to take time out to look after yourself.

18/10/2020

Oh to be little a child.

What does Love mean to 4-8 year old kids? Slow down for a few minutes to read this...

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined!

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore... So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca - age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.' Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine - age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image!) Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross...' Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

Now, take 60 seconds and post this for other to see. And then be a child again today!

06/08/2020

Open if you need us.

HOPE CARING FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELL BEING DURING COVID-19.

Hope Counselling & Psychotherapy is an Allied Health Service. We are open for telephone, video or onsite appointments where necessary.

Reach out: www.needhope.com.au

03/06/2020

20/20 reflections.

Hi guys, this videos all rights strictly reserved to Tom foolery and his channel. In this video...

30/03/2020

I know life has changed for many of us.
Both drastically and in small ways.
During this time, take a moment to take stock of your life and consider what’s worth fighting for.

08/01/2020

So well put. What do you think?

Repair.

For many of us, having someone meet us in our pain is the one thing we crave the most. It has such meaning and value for all people. Yet, so many starve for it. When is the last time you felt met?

It is hard to trust someone can meet us in our need. When we have been hurt or neglected. When we have been wounded, or a part of the problem. When our human condition has oozed all over other people, or we have been oozed on.

We have all been here: with a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling, a colleague, a friend, a stranger. We hurt others and others hurt us.

So many of us focus in on apology. Because if someone could have the perfect words to remedy how utterly alone it feels to be hurt, that would do something. Right?!

But repair is not about perfect words. Repair is about presence.

The felt presence of another: "I see you in your pain"; "I own that I have hurt you"; "I love you"; "You are loved just the way you are"; "I like us despite of the ooze".

We are valuable enough to have someone be present with us in our pain, and we are afraid we are unmeetable. So we get tough, or overly sweet, or indifferent. We get rational, or irrational, or lost. We placate, or get angry, or we are just plain overwhelmed.

Hoping for repair, longing for presence, acknowledging our desire to be met by another: its risky business.

Are you meeting people in their pain? Are you showing up to find someone in their "all-alone-I-feel-broken"? Do you let yourself know about your own "all-alone-I-feel-broken", so someone can meet you?

But (and a very important "but") there is a place where toxic exists. And there is a time to let go. Let go if you need to. You will change. You will find your way. Maybe back. Maybe not.

And just as there is a time to let go, there are many, many more times to repair.

Tara Boothby
Written January 4th 2020

09/11/2019

I often say that the problem isn’t the problem.
If you know someone who is struggling be there for them.

05/11/2019

What connection are you making.

I think it was Brene Brown who told a story about a village where all the women washed clothes together down by the river. When they all got washing machines, there was a sudden outbreak of depression and no one could figure out why.

It wasn't the washing machines in and of themselves. It was the absence of time spent doing things together. It was the absence of community.
Friends, we’ve gotten so independent.

We’re “fine” we tell ourselves even when in reality we’re depressed, we’re overwhelmed, we’re lonely, and we’re hurting. “We’re fine, we’re just too busy right now” we say when days, weeks, months, and years go by without connecting with friends. I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s so easy to say even when it’s not true.

We’ve become so isolated and it’s hard to know how to get back. It’s so hard to know how to even begin to build the kind of relationships our hearts need. And I think In our current culture, it’s just not as organic as it once was. It's more work now.

Because you know, we have our own washing machines. We don't depend on each other to do laundry, or cook dinner, or raise babies anymore. We don't really depend on each other for much of anything if we're being honest.
In Brene Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness, she says that being lonely effects the length of our life expectancy similar to smoking 15 ci******es a day. I don’t say that to freak anyone out, but to let you know that the longing for connection is LEGIT. I think we’ve treated friendship like a luxury for far too long; friendship isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.

We don't want it. We kind of need it.

Be independent. Be proud of it. But be an independent woman who realizes the value and the importance of opening the door to other good women.
You can do it alone, but you don't have to. Islands are only fun for so long.
There is true magic when women come together and hold hands and share ideas and share stories and struggles and endless bowls of salsa. You use your gifts, and I'll use mine, and then we'll invite that girl over there who brings a completely different set of skills to the table we are building, and we'll watch together as something miraculous unfold.

Author: Amy Weatherly

Art: Darcy Lee