05/09/2025
I’ve been struggling lately—really struggling.
It’s been hard to take action in my business, in my relationships, with my health, and even with the commitments I’ve made around social and leisure time.
I’ve been stuck in this space of looking for the easy way out.
Yes, I’ve been unwell.
Yes, there’ve been some big life changes.
My energy’s been low.
And I haven’t felt vibrant.
It showed up in my body first.
A bout of Influenza A knocked me for six—I was all but bedridden for almost seven days.
Then came the fatigue, which lingered for another week.
I wasn’t sleeping well, my brain felt foggy, and I had zero motivation.
Honestly, I just felt flat.
Like my spark had dulled and I didn’t know how to reignite it.
And I knew I wasn’t taking the actions I needed to take—actions that would help me feel better, build momentum in my business, have the honest conversations in my relationships, or just behave in a more grounded and healthy way.
I knew what needed to happen, but I couldn’t get out of my own way.
So I reached out to my mentor.
She brought something to the surface that changed everything:
"I wasn't taking FULL Self-Responsibility, for my impact, on purpose or not, to myself & others"
I needed to own what’s mine.
Not just in theory, but in the deepest, most integrated way.
One of the questions she asked me was,
“What are you handing over to others that you know, deep down, is yours to carry?”
That one cracked me open.
We worked through some old beliefs, untangled some thought patterns I’d been looping in, and I had to really sit with the uncomfortable truth that I’d been avoiding the mirror.
Once I tapped into the wisdom around that, things started to shift.
I remembered: I am the only person I’m fully responsible for.
My choices, my words, my behaviours, my actions—no one else can own those but me.
Yet somehow, I’d been outsourcing that responsibility.
I was blaming others—just a few people in particular—but the truth is, they weren’t to blame.
They were simply being themselves.
I was the one creating the stories in my head.
And those stories?
They weren’t kind—to me or to them.
I was telling myself things like,
“They don’t support me” or
“They misunderstand me” or
"They don't know how to love me right" and
"If they loved me, they'd know what I need"
But the truth is, I was making it harder by expecting them to behave differently so I could feel better.
That’s not fair to them—and it’s certainly not empowering for me.
After drilling down to the root cause—me not taking FULL responsibility for my choices—I realised something huge.
I am the problem.
I have always been the problem.
And you know what?
That doesn’t mean I need to punish myself.
It means I get to move forward differently.
Yes, I’ve acted in ways that have impacted others, caused harm, or created tension.
But shame and punishment won’t move me forward.
What will, is owning my part, fully and radically.
Taking responsibility for how I show up from this point on.
Knowing that every word, action, or decision I make has a consequence.
It might be good, it might be challenging, or it might just be neutral.
Either way, I’ll learn from it.
I’ll adjust.
I’ll grow.
The first small action I took after that shift was so simple—but powerful.
I stepped outside, sat in the sunshine, and just let myself be.
No to-do list.
No rushing to the next thing.
Just me, the warmth of the sun on my skin, a few deep breaths, and the stillness I didn’t know I was craving.
It was the first thing I’d done in days that felt like a vote for my healing.
Not productivity, not performance—just presence.
Just rest.
And it reminded me: I don’t have to "do" to be worthy.
Sometimes choosing myself looks like quiet moments, Vitamin D, and a pause to breathe.
My whole attitude has shifted.
Even though I’ve always known I was responsible for myself, I hadn’t fully embodied it.
But now, I do.
I feel it in every cell: I am the only one I can change.
I can’t control what others do or how they respond.
I can only choose my next step—moment by moment.
And I’ll be honest—I still catch myself slipping back into old patterns.
The difference now is, I notice quicker.
When I hear myself blaming or shrinking, I pause and ask:
“Hang on—where am I giving my power away right now?”
That little question snaps me back into presence.
Into choice.
And that?
That’s power.
Ready to take FULL Self-Responsibility too?
Let’s talk. No pressure. Just presence.
DM - RESPONSIBILITY, and we'll start the conversation 🫶🏼
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