Successful Relationships - Vivian Baruch

16/05/2026

What Science Actually Says About Men and Women — Evolutionary Psychologist David Buss.

"Often cited as the founding mind in his field, David Buss is one of the most influential researchers alive today. For over 40 years, David has worked at the bleeding edge of evolutionary psychology, seeking answers to the most complex and disturbing human quirks. His award-winning work, which amounts to over 200 articles and several acclaimed books, explores the phenoms of jealousy, attraction, mating rituals, social status, cheating, stalking, and homicide.

As adverse as the (dating site) environment is for men, it might be the state of play for women is similarly undesirable. In fact, David advises against them even participating in it…

”I wouldn’t advise any woman to go on Tinder. 30% of the men on it are in relationships or married; they’re only looking for short-term mates.”

Thank you for your member questions Eli Feng , Nathan Woodard , Stephen Davids , Bobster , JamieHMiller and Zo

16/05/2026

Psychologist Jonathan Alpert, saying similar things to Abigail Shrier: "For years, my profession has trained clinicians to elevate validation over challenge, affirmation over interpretation, and emotional fluency over the harder work of behavioral change. What has followed is the rise of grievance culture dressed up as psychological sophistication. Too many therapists now function less as clinicians than as reinforcers of the most self-protective interpretation available, teaching patients to locate the problem everywhere but themselves.

Too much of modern therapy culture keeps people stuck, reinforcing grievance, externalizing blame, and turning everyone else into the reason their lives are so miserable.

Patients leave not more capable of tolerating frustration, ambiguity, or ordinary disappointment, but less. They become more fluent in explaining why they feel the way they do while becoming less practiced at changing what they do next. And therapists are largely responsible for this phenomenon.

That same emotional habit doesn’t stay confined to the therapy office. People carry it into marriages, friendships, workplaces, and, eventually, politics."

Therapy promised Americans greater agency and insight. Instead, it delivered a more satisfying story about why someone else is to blame, writes Jonathan Alpert.

16/05/2026

Greg Lukianoff & Jonathan Haidt have copious research showing how decades of education (& therapy) practices have weakened Western minds instead of teaching resilience.

I wish Gen-Z would look past the title of 'Coddling' to see that it's really not a rebuke of them as much as it's a critique of the mental habits they were taught by the, in some cases, well-meaning adults who raised and taught them.

14/05/2026

Brendan O'Neill: "This is a devastating account of how schooling has been transformed from a means of enlightenment into a machine of moral intimidation. A fierce, lucid defence of knowledge, truth, and the right of children to be educated rather than indoctrinated.”

Why is it that the more money governments spend on education, the less children seem to know? And why, year after year are standards of literacy and numeracy plummeting?

The Institute of Public Affairs is proud to present Mindless: How the Education System is Indoctrinating Children and Destroying Our Civilisation by Dr Bella d’Abrera.

In this groundbreaking book, Bella exposes in detail how the education systems in Australia, the United Kingdom and the United States are no longer fit for purpose. Drawing on extensive research, policy analysis, and real-world examples, Mindless reveals the scale of the problem and its consequences for the next generation.
From kindergarten onwards, children are being indoctrinated by the state with radical ideologies that prioritise victimhood, oppression narratives, identity politics and climate apocalypticism over knowledge and intellectual formation.

This is essential reading for parents, educators, and policymakers. It is both a warning and a call to action: a powerful defence of the child, the family, and the enduring inheritance of Western Civilisation."

The Institute of Public Affairs is proud to present Mindless: How the Education System is Indoctrinating Children and Destroying Our Civilisation by Dr Bella d’Abrera.

29/04/2026

Learning to say "No" in healthy ways. You may think that learning to say “No” is a simple matter. This is not necessarily true. We generally expect our partner to respond to requests pretty quickly after we make them. What we may not realise is that some requests are not so simple to fulfil.

Successful Relationships April newsletter out now https://vivianbaruch.com/2026/04/28/learning-to-say-no-in-healthy-ways-2/

17/04/2026

Watch Michael Shermer’s interview with Debra Soh on Why Men and Women Are Drifting Apart, Dating Apps, and Gen Z

The Michael Shermer Show # 597 Fewer people are having s*x, fewer are forming lasting relationships, and many feel more isolated than ever. Why?Michael Sherm...

21/03/2026

The Free Press, Joe Nocera: "Right now, there’s a lot of bad therapy going on in America—something that, here at The Free Press, we’ve written and worried about for years. There are psychologists out there changing lives for the better, but there are also those who tell gay men they should be straight, encourage girls to become boys, and accuse patients of perpetuating “white supremacy culture.” Meanwhile, social media is awash with “therapy-speak,” which influencers use to justify cutting off family members or accuse ex-lovers of being narcissists."

The therapists in ‘Shrinking’ cross nearly every possible boundary with their patients—and that’s a really bad thing, writes Joe Nocera.

18/03/2026

Two minutes of wisdom about relationships.

2 minutes of absolutely sobering truth

14/03/2026

Interesting discussion between Justin Garcia & Michael Shermer. "Why do people risk everything for love but treat s*x like it’s no big deal? Why is intimacy the most expensive thing in a brothel? And why do jealousy, infidelity, and heartbreak push otherwise rational people into behavior they later can’t explain?

Evolutionary biologist and s*x researcher Justin Garcia, executive director of the Kinsey Institute and author of The Intimate Animal, joins Michael Shermer for a candid conversation about the biology of s*x, the evolutionary logic of pair bonding, and why love—not lust—is what often pushes people past the point of reason."

About this episode: Why do people risk everything for love but treat s*x like it’s no big deal? Why is intimacy the most expensive thing in a brothel? And why do jealousy, infidelity, and heartbreak push otherwise rational people into behavior they later can’t explain? Evolutionary biologist and

20/02/2026

Attachment styles: One way to understand how you relate.

You and your partner most probably have different attachment styles. Couples can be together for many years and still not know what the other needs and wants in many different areas of life and relationship.

Successful Relationships February newsletter out now.

You & your partner probably have different attachment styles. Couples can be together for many years & still not know much about the other.