12 Points Psychology

22/07/2025

💥 A quick shoutout for someone in our extended 12 Points family 💥

Some of you might remember Gemma from Patient Paws — she and her awesome dogs have done beautiful work with us in the past, and I’ve been lucky enough to watch her build her business from the ground up with a whole lot of heart, grit - and not a little bit of dog hair! 🐾

This week, she’s been named a FINALIST in the 2025 AusMumpreneur Awards (Customer Service category) — and we couldn’t be prouder!

Running a business while also raising small humans is no joke, and Gemma’s poured herself into both with so much integrity and care, it's just amazing to watch - and well worth recognising.

So if you’ve got 30 seconds and can spare a click, you can help her win this thing!

🗳 Vote here:
👉 https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/ausmumpc2025
(Scroll to Customer Service, then select Gemma – Patient Paws)

Every vote makes a difference — and it’s such a simple way to support a a fellow dog lover and all round wonderful human to keep doing incredible work in her corner of the world.

10/07/2025

More great work from the guys at Haven Psychology ! 💜💚 The mis-alignment many people who don't 'fit" the mould of a simple, acute/temporary condition feel, in part, comes down to this. You're navigating a system that was never built for you, and it becomes just another part of the burden you get used to carrying. But take a moment this week to acknowledge it and show yourself some kindness for all you're carrying. 💜💚

02/06/2025

When my grandfather died of lung cancer, I was nine.

He was 67.

And I decided that - since I was going to be a doctor anyway - the obvious next step was to destroy all cancer. (Honestly, you did not want to cross 9-year-old me.)!

By the time I was at uni in the ’90s, studying towards that goal, I realised the “one cure” was never coming.

At the time, the 5-year survival rate for cancer in Australia was just 55%. It felt like we were impossibly far from any kind of big win against this thing.

So when I pivoted away from medicine into psychology, I figured I could help in a different way - supporting the people who were navigating cancer, the system around it, and the complex emotions that come with both.

No one imagined that 30 years on, 71% of people would be living beyond that 5-year mark.
I certainly never imagined I’d be one of them.

But here’s the thing we didn’t even consider back then (because it seemed so impossible) -
And what most healthcare training still doesn’t talk about enough:

Living longer means support has to last longer.

Medications and treatments have to evolve - not just to preserve life, but quality of life.
And we need to stop automatically throwing up our hands like there’s “nothing to be done” for people living with Stage 4 cancer.

Renata’s lived with stage 4 for six years. She calls it the abyss -
That space where medical support slows down, friendships fade, and no one really knows what to say or do.

As a psychologist, I get to be a tiny stopgap in that abyss.
It’s not a cure. But it’s something.

And raising funds for better support, better research, and a better understanding of what life with cancer really looks like - that’s something too.

If you'd like to help, please:

💛 Watch
💛 Share
💛 Donate if you can → https://www.biggestmorningtea.com.au/fundraisers/lightwooddental

29/05/2025

When someone you care about is living with cancer, what you say matters.
“I’ll be here no matter what” hits very differently compared to “you’ll be fine.”

Renata’s lived with stage 4 cancer for 6 years now - and what helps most isn’t false reassurance. It’s the people who show up, stay present, and don’t try to fix it.

We’re working with Renata and her team at Lightwood Dental this year, to share her story and raisea funds for this year’s .

Because there’s still so much we don’t get right about cancer - and it's not through lack of care or concern! It's just impossible to know how to help sometimes.

But not today. Today here's 4 super simple things you can do to help Renata and the millions of others living with this disease.

👉 Watch.
👉 Reflect.
👉 Share.
👉 Donate if you can: https://www.biggestmorningtea.com.au/fundraisers/lightwooddental

And if you live in the Outer East of Melbourne, come join us for the Biggest Morning Tea next Weds 4th June for cupcakes, raffles and tea (of course!)

Your support helps fund research, treatment, and foster better understanding and outcomes.

28/05/2025

A farewell to our little underwater friend 💚

Toothless was with us for over 8 years — a calming, cheeky presence who quietly became part of what made our clinic feel so welcoming. Whether you work here or were just visiting.

He meant different things to different people:
💧 A curious companion
🎭 A source of entertainment
🧘 A quiet focal point when words were hard to find.

But for all of us, he was familiar. Grounding. Steady.

This is our way of saying goodbye — and saying thank you. 💚

If you have a memory or photo of Toothless, we’d love you to share it in the comments. He really was one of a kind.

22/04/2025

There is no “epidemic” of autism, ADHD, or gender diversity.
Just like being left-handed, these things were always here - people just weren’t allowed to be themselves.

Think about it: in the 19th and early 20th centuries, left-handed kids had their left hands tied behind their backs, were physically punished, and basically forced to switch hands. It wasn’t that there were fewer left-handed people back then - they were just shamed into hiding or changing who they were.

By the 1980s, when I started school, that was still going on in subtle ways. I naturally wrote with my left hand but was discouraged from doing so because my elbow would “interfere” with the kid next to me.
That’s why it seems like there are more left-handed people today (around 13% now vs just 3% fifty years ago) - but the truth is, we’re just finally allowed to exist as we are.

It’s the same for neurodivergent people. It’s the same for trans people.
We’re not suddenly popping up out of nowhere - we’re just finally being seen.

And if certain healthcare workers, policy-makers, or mental health academics can’t grasp that - well, you really have to wonder about their own mental capacity!

15/04/2025

💜 this is some of the hardest work you will ever do. But you are allowed to do it. And healing is possible.

Childhood under a narcissistic mother is a paradox no child should face—loving the hand that hits you, depending on the person who destabilizes you, and finding “safety” in the eye of a storm. If this was your reality—if you were forced to navigate a caregiver who harmed as much as they “provided”—know this:

Your survival was a masterpiece of resilience.

You learned to split yourself in two:
The child who needed love.
And the strategist who learned to predict her moods, soothe her outbursts, and shrink your needs into silence.

You became fluent in contradictions—craving her approval while dodging her contempt, memorizing her triggers while burying your own. Every meal she cooked, every need she met, came with invisible strings that tightened around your throat.

This is the cruelest betrayal:
Being taught that love is transactional, safety is conditional, and your worth depends on how well you manage her chaos.
The child who should have been protected became the parent, the peacekeeper, the emotional custodian of a woman who saw you as an extension of her ego.

If this resonates with you—your pain is valid. Your exhaustion is justified.
The grief of mourning a mother who was there but never truly present is a burden no one should carry.

You deserved a soft childhood.
You deserved to be loved without earning it.
You deserved to feel safe in your own home.

Healing begins when we stop gaslighting ourselves:
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Others had it worse.”

Your trauma isn’t a competition—it’s a lived reality etched into your nervous system.
Those survival skills—hypervigilance, people-pleasing, emotional camouflage—weren’t flaws. They were lifelines.

You can unlearn the lies she embedded.
You can find relationships where care isn’t weaponized, where love doesn’t demand silence, where your needs aren’t negotiable.
You can parent yourself now with the tenderness she withheld.
You can teach your body that danger isn’t the default.

To your inner child:
I see you. I honor you.

And to the adult you’ve become:
I’m sending you oceans of compassion, forests of peace, and the unwavering reminder that your resilience is greater than her harm.

Keep going.

14/03/2025

Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do as parents (and people) is listen, learn, and love our kids exactly as they are.

Hugh van Cuylenburg’s open letter about his son is a moving reminder that understanding neurodiversity isn’t about ‘fixing’—it’s about embracing and supporting and showing compassion for the other humans around us.

For all the parents navigating similar journeys, you’re not alone. Let’s keep amplifying these conversations and creating a world where every child feels seen, valued, and celebrated.

Read the full article here by clicking and pasting the link below into your browser:

https://www.mamamia.com.au/hugh-van-cuylenburg-autistic-child-open-letter/

03/03/2025

🤔 Teen Therapy & Confidentiality – What Parents Need to Know

If your teen is in therapy, you might be wondering:

"I want to know how they’re doing, but I also want to respect their privacy... how do I balance that?"

This is a common concern for parents, and the good news is that confidentiality in therapy isn’t about keeping parents in the dark—it’s about creating a safe space where teens feel comfortable opening up, while also ensuring their safety and well-being.

So, when will parents be informed?
✅ If there’s an immediate risk of harm (to themselves or others).
✅ If there are concerns about abuse or neglect.
✅ If legally required (such as a court order).

Otherwise, therapy remains a private space for your teen to work through their thoughts and emotions. But that doesn’t mean you’re left out! You can stay involved by:
💡 Having general check-ins with their therapist.
💡 Encouraging open but low-pressure conversations at home.
💡 Attending parent support sessions to learn how to help.

Therapy works best when teens feel safe and supported by both their therapist and their parents. If you have concerns or questions, we’re here to help.

📞 Call us or visit our website https://12pointspsychology.com/

16/02/2025

It’s so easy to feel stuck when things feel out of your control.

But no situation—no matter how frustrating or unfair or just sheer crappy—can take away your ability to choose how you respond.

And sometimes, even when (and sometimes especially when!) it really sucks, that choice is the most powerful thing we have. ! 💚

14/02/2025

We often put way too much pressure on ourselves to have all the answers—to say the right thing, fix the problem, or always know what to do.

But as therapists, we know the truth!

And we promise you - your presence, your patience, and your unconditional support matter more than perfection ever will.

💡 Save this as a reminder for the tough days. 💡

💬 What’s one thing you know always helps you feel connected to your child, even on the hard days? Drop a ❤️ below if this resonates.

13/02/2025

💚 Parents, don’t forget this: The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. It's the foundation for ALL other relationships & acts as a model for your kids on how they'll treat themselves as they get older too.

And Valentine’s Day seems like a good day to remind us about a love that often gets forgotten! So before you pour into everyone else, take a moment to check in with you.

🍃 Self-care isn’t selfish.
🍃 You deserve the same kindness you give to others.
🍃 The healthier your relationship with yourself, the more fully you can show up for the people you love.

So today, pause. Breathe. What’s one small way you can show love to yourself today? 💚

📩 Need support? We’re here. Book a session via the link in our bio.