Dr Leanne McEvoy Psychology

29/06/2023

All the love and luck for 'living with your vows' Rachel Macy🥰

The Summer of My Softening

I’ve had enough of my hard edges.
I’m tired of straining my voice.
I’d like to loosen up and laugh a little more.
Be a positive rather than a negative.

I’d like to feel the upward curve of my lips.
I’d like to surrender control of things in which I have no control.
I’d like to let things unfold in their own time, in their own way.
I’d like to participate joyfully in this fleeting life.

I’d like to be softer
towards the people I love
and also, to myself.

Thus, today begins the Summer of My Softening.
And this is my vow:

I vow to listen more than I speak.
I don’t always have to agree or have the last word.

I vow less ‘management’ and more encouragement.
“How would you do it?” I’ll ask.
The goal is independence & capability – not perfection & efficiency.

I vow to be more curious of tastes and styles unlike my own.

I vow to practice the pause and keep unhelpful comments to myself.

I vow to remember they are in the process of becoming – and I stifle their process by telling them how.

I vow to be a soul-builder in a tear-down world.

I vow to be a silver lining spotter in my family’s little world.

I vow to be softer today than I was yesterday – a softer voice, a softer stance, a softer touch, a softer timetable.

The Summer of my Softening will allow me to hear more, learn more, laugh more, and love more.

At last, I’ll see the colors of the people I love,
perhaps for the very first time.

Their unique hues might take my breath away,
bring me to tears,
or offer some peace.

I will soften so the human being beside me and within me can shine.

-Rachel Macy Stafford

🌊This is an updated version of the original poem I wrote in 2016 – but the concept of ‘softening this summer’ to better connect with my ‘baby adults’ and their acquiring of summer jobs, managing their time, and making life choices still helps immensely. Learning to be softer towards myself will probably be a lifetime practice –

19/06/2023

Gifts

by Anna Swir

An empty day without events.
And that is why
it grew immense
as space. And suddenly
happiness of being
entered me.

I heard
in my heartbeat
the birth of time
and each instant of life
one after the other
came rushing in
like priceless gifts

18/06/2023

From The Truth of You by Iain Thomas

05/06/2023

Today I asked my body what she needed,
Which is a big deal
Considering my journey of
Not Really Asking That Much.

I thought she might need more water.
Or protein.
Or greens.
Or yoga.
Or supplements.
Or movement.

But as I stood in the shower
Reflecting on her stretch marks,
Her roundness where I would like flatness,
Her softness where I would like firmness,
All those conditioned wishes
That form a bundle of
Never-Quite-Right-Ness,
She whispered very gently:

Could you just love me like this?

Hollie Holden, June 2016

23/05/2023

A little reminder ( on a lovely Aussie road sign 😁)

12/05/2023

Excerpt from Eliza Fricker's new book Thumsucker. Her experiences of growing up with undiagnosed autism in the 1980's...

So I became the people pleaser, the perfectionist, the fixer.
Until I didn’t know what I liked or wanted or what was good for me.
Was this okay?
I know I mustn’t complain.
So I kept it all hidden..

Thumbsucker published December 2023 by Jessica Kingsley Books.

11/05/2023

Sending love to those doing SATs this week!

You say it’s no big deal.
But you’ve made us go over stuff for weeks and weeks.
You say it doesn’t matter.
But you haven’t stopped talking about it.

And then we’ve got the next place to think about.
Meanwhile..
Prom, picnic, residential, leavers assembly.
All of this is fun you tell us.
But to me it all still looks like a lot of tests.

11/05/2023

Question everything

10/05/2023

Lovely blog post on holding difficult emotion with kindness and rejection sensitivity by my dear friend and colleague Claire van den Bosch

Life is suffering. This is the first of the four Buddhist Noble Truths. Of course, life can also be beautiful. This can be in big ways. The birth of my grandchild last month, my sister’s incredible promotion after years of employment struggles, or the TARGIT-IORT breast cancer treatment research b...

07/05/2023

💝

02/05/2023

Burn the old and bring in the new. Beltane blessings x

25/04/2023

Love these fish 💕

25/04/2023

I needed this one today...

21/04/2023

The idea of acceptance ( as opposed to resistance) is often misunderstood.

Acceptance doesn't mean that we like it or want it. It doesn't mean that we are happy with the situation and won't make moves to change things.

Acceptance is a deep opening to a situation or circumstance with our mind, body and spirit so we are no longer rallying against it, denying it or resisting it.

From this space of radical acceptance we then have the wisdom to create effective change.

20/04/2023

Chatterminds...fab kids mindfulness courses. Great for increasing self compassion and understanding tricky emotions...

20/04/2023

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. Every break is unique and instead of repairing an item like new, the 400-year-old technique actually highlights the "scars" as a part of the design. Using this as a metaphor for healing ourselves teaches us an important lesson: Sometimes in the process of repairing things that have broken, we actually create something more unique, beautiful and resilient

19/04/2023

"This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before."
Maya Angelou

18/04/2023

My Balm by Jane O’Shea

I close my eyes and sigh, and
here I am lying in the hammock in my heart,
Moving gently with the soft air of my breath.
When I fall from my head past my words,
I’m caught lovingly by the hammock of my heart and
rocked to its rhythmic beat.
It is my peace, my rest, my quiet,
cradled in the hammock of my heart.
It is constant; it is safe to be held in the hammock of my heart.
No place to go.
Nothing to do.
Nobody to please.
It is my altar, my blessing, my balm,
here in the hammock of my heart.

Just a few places left on this wonderful course. Starts Thursday May 4th 6pm BST for 8 weeks.
https://www.drleannemcevoy.com/mindful-self-compassion-course

IMAGE

'Bringing Love Home' Berit Kruger Johnsen