
01/08/2025
🔒 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗔𝗿𝗲, 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿, 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗱
Let’s talk about something essential to emotional wellbeing — but often misunderstood:
➡️ 𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦.
Boundaries are not walls. They are guidelines we set to protect our time, energy, values, and emotional safety.
They help us say:
✔️ What’s okay
❌ What’s not okay
❤️ How we want to be treated
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📚 𝗧𝘆𝗽𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀:
🔹 Emotional: Protecting your feelings, not taking on others’ emotional burdens
🔹 Physical: Personal space, touch, rest
🔹 Time: Saying no to overcommitting or burnout
🔹 Mental: Holding your own thoughts and beliefs, even if they differ
🔹 Digital: Limits around phone use, texting, social media access
🔹 Relational: Deciding how much you give, share, or engage with certain people
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❓ 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗦𝗼 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗧𝗼 𝗨𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱?
Because many of us were never taught how. Or worse — we were punished, guilted, or ignored when we tried.
Especially if you’ve experienced trauma, you might:
Say “yes” to avoid conflict or rejection
Feel responsible for others’ feelings
Confuse boundaries with being selfish
Struggle to trust your own needs
Feel anxious or guilty when you try to say “no”
🌪️ Trauma can blur your sense of what’s safe or fair, making it hard to feel like you even deserve boundaries.
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💥 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 & 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗩𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱
If you grew up in a home where:
Your privacy was ignored
You had to “keep the peace” to stay safe
You were expected to meet everyone else’s needs
Saying “no” meant punishment or shame
… then boundary-setting might feel threatening or impossible now.
But here’s the truth:
🧠 Boundaries are a form of healing.
🫶 They rebuild your self-worth.
🌱 They teach others how to care for you.
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💡 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗼 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁:
1️⃣ Name your needs. “I need time alone after work.”
2️⃣ Use kind but clear language. “I’m not available to talk about that right now.”
3️⃣ Expect discomfort — not danger. It’s okay if it feels awkward at first.
4️⃣ Get support. A trauma-informed therapist can help you build confidence in setting and keeping boundaries.
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🌀 You are allowed to take up space.
🌀 You are allowed to protect your peace.
🌀 You are allowed to change patterns that no longer serve you.
💬 Let this be your reminder:
𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 — 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.
𝗘𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.
Because that’s often how healing begins.
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🌊 At Calming Waves, we help individuals explore their boundaries, build self-trust, and learn new ways of showing up in relationships — with self-respect and compassion.
📲 Visit www.calmingwaves.com.au to find out how therapy can support your boundary journey.