14/07/2021
So important as so much damage can be done.
Therapists are running a business + when you choose to hire a therapist, itβs important to ask questions.
A confident therapist will welcome them. Advocate for your healing:
1. Have you been on your own personal healing journey?
2. Do you have a professional social media page? (Note: therapists have a right to keep their private life, private. If they have an account for work, check out the content. See if it resonates. Also witness how they interact with others/use their platform)
2. What is your understanding of trauma? (Trauma is about the impact on the nervous system, not the event itselfβ a common misunderstanding in the therapy world)
3. Do you work with attachment + understand childhood trauma + how it manifests in adulthood? (I have noticed many therapists online dismiss, invalidate, or downplay childhood experiences. If a therapists invalidates your trauma OR tells you youβre βtoo traumatized,β itβs a sign they are not comfortable, not a reflection of you.
4. Do you work with the nervous system? Will you give me tools to help regulate my emotions?
5. Iβm (gay, trans, BIPOC, in a polyamory relationship, etc.). I share experiences around thisβ are you comfortable/have you worked with people like this?
6. I am going through a spiritual awakening/dark night of the soul. Itβs a painful stage of healing. Can I talk with you about that? (Note: last year a therapist with a large following took a dark night of the soul post of mine + re-shared it with his following with clown emojis over it. While this post spoke to his own emotional maturity, it made me think: what would happen in a therapy room if someone shared their spiritual experiences. We are mind, body, + soul + mocking spiritual experiences is a red flag.)
7. What do you believe about/what is your view about the world?
8. βI have been following, reading, learning more about x. What are your thoughts on that?β The therapist should be open + receptive. Red flags: defensiveness or rejection of idea youβre drawn to.
9. Do you continue to learn, read, + study around healing trauma? Good therapists are always learning new information + integregtating it on their own path