09/11/2025
Lately everything just feels fast. Life’s full, running at full speed and I’m not slowing down because I can’t. There’s too much to do, too many people relying on me, and too many moving parts that would fall apart if I stopped for even a second. I keep saying “I’m so busy” but it’s not about being proud of it, it’s fear. Fear that I’m dropping the ball, Fear that if I give everything to one world, I’m letting the other one down and Fear that no matter how much I do, it still won’t be enough.
I love all the worlds I hold, the performing world that’s full of creativity, the spiritual space that feels like coming home to myself and the world of being a parent where I’m needed in ways that stretch my heart the most. But some days it feels like I’m trying to keep all these versions of me alive and I’m constantly apologising for whichever one isn’t getting enough of me. “I’m busy” has become the thing I say when I’m scared people will think I don’t care and they will abandon me because of it. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I care about everything, all at once.
If I’m being real, I am dropping balls, I am forgetting things, I am stretched too thin. But somehow life keeps moving and the people who get it stay, the things that matter don’t fall apart when I can’t hold them perfectly. Maybe that’s the point, not to get it all right, but to just keep showing up anyway. I’m busy, yeah. But I’m also doing my best…. I’m right here, giving it everything I’ve got, even when it feels like too much.
Maybe thats something we all need to hear sometimes that we’re not failing just because it’s full. We’re human, we’re juggling, we’re trying to show up for everything that matters to us. It’s not about proving or pleasing, it’s about being real and doing the best we can with what we’ve got and showing up even when we’re scared and don’t have it all together…
( a picture of me after resetting my nervous system but that’s another post in itself )
