Autistic Starts - Geraldton

15/04/2025

25/03/2025

It's a sad fact that the harder your child finds school, the more time and space it takes up. There’s the hours in the morning trying to coax them, and the long afternoons dealing with the aftermath. There’s the worrying late at night, when you wake up sweating about their future and wondering whether it’s all your fault. The weekends worrying about the homework and the impending sense of dread on Sunday afternoons as a whole week lies ahead. ‘Just fifteen minutes’ reading which turn into an entire day of waiting for the right moment to make the suggestion.

And then there’s the effort you put into hiding what’s going on from the rest of the world, because you’re afraid of what they are going to say. The ‘helpful suggestions’ like ‘Have you tried taking away her iPad?’ or ‘What about a sticker chart?’. The moments when they say ‘Oh, yes sometimes Lizzie doesn’t really feel like school but we just say it’s the law’ and you realise they don’t have a clue.

When your child isn’t fine at school, you can feel so isolated and alone. It can feel like you are the only ones going through this, and that’s a lonely place to be.

That’s what Eliza Fricker () and I are talking about in our next joint webinar. Now What? Not Fine At School. It’s about what it’s like to be a parent when school isn’t going well for your child. The blame, the guilt, the emotional hangovers and the endless hope that perhaps this day will be a better one. It’s based on Eliza’s personal experience of having a child who wasn’t fine in school for the whole of primary school (and then didn’t attend for secondary school) and my experience as a professional and former ‘school refuser’ myself.

Please share if you know parents who are going through this.

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/now-what-not-fine-in-school-with-dr-naomi-fisher-and-eliza-fricker-tickets-1264018757129?aff=fb3

21/03/2025

24/10/2024

Our family is currently experiencing the long journey of trauma recovery.

I started this page when I was in “Fight” mode - fighting against the education system for my child’s rights to have their needs met; fighting against societal conditioning to unmask and be an autistic voice at the table; and fighting against my own nervous system to just keep pushing forward and survive every day.

It wasn’t long after starting this page that I moved from Fight mode to Freeze mode and Autistic Burnout took over… I lost any capacity to fight, and struggled to connect to anything outside of the trauma bubble we existed in.

It’s been a long 18 months, but I have started taking “baby steps” to move out of this bubble, and I am grateful that I will be able to lead my family along the path of trauma recovery.

This article by Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle has really resonated with me and given me hope for my family’s future. I know we will get there, if I “Just keep baby stepping.” 🙏🏼💜

The little steps will add up.  Not immediately. Often not in ways that will keep us consistently motivated.  But they will add up. They will go somewhere.  Many survivors in trauma r…

30/07/2024

03/07/2024

ABA: Denying Joy To Children

I've written about this before, but it keeps happening. I've heard this story too many times to count. This is still part of the "new" ABA, because there is no "new" ABA. The core principles, the education, and these tactics remain the same.

Here's the scenario: An ABA practitioner is working with a child. They find something the child really likes, and they decide to use it as a "reinforcer". Then, they instruct parents and other professionals to NOT give that item to the child because it's being used in "therapy" as a reinforcer.

They like pretzels? Don't give them pretzels.
They like bubbles, do NOT give them bubbles.

They can "work" for them.

What?

This is NOT OK!

This is not science, it's not best practice and it's void of humanity.

Why do we have to deny joy to a child because they have an autism diagnosis?

Why are adults withholding favorite things from young, neurodivergent children to get them to do what they want? For the data? To show progress? At what cost, though? Are the data points worth denying joy to a young child? Are the hours of 'therapy' worth taking away body autonomy and teaching kids to mask, just so they can get that desired toy? I can't even begin to imagine how exhausting and demoralizing that is for a child.

If your ABA practitioner tells you to eliminate a favorite item because they are using it for a reinforcer, it's OK to tell them NO. It's fine to express your discomfort with the strategy.

An autism diagnosis doesn't mean we have to deny joy to child in order to get them to work.

We must do better.

If your child likes bubbles, here's some really practical advice: Give them bubbles and watch the joy in their face as they play!

Please share your stories in the comments. Friendly reminder, ABA will not be defended on this page. I'll squash the foreseeable paycheck analogy in the comment section with an infographic.

17/04/2024

21/12/2023

This is amazing and makes so much sense! Thanks Perth Children's Occupational Therapy

14/12/2023