26/11/2025
10 days ago, my back caved in on me. The last time that happened was 15 years ago when I was 27. I sneezed and was out for three weeks!
I've had chronic lower back pain since I was 16.
I've tweaked it here and there over the years, worse during my pregnancies and motherhood.
Even when it would dissipate, I could always feel it lingering.
I canāt count how many times I fell off a horse when I was younger. Were those accidents the start of it?
Or maybe it was when I nearly drowned at 13, caught in a rip at Back Beach, gripping onto life like never before and believed I was going to die. Parts of my soul definitely left my body that day.
I also notice it tweaks a lot before my period (yes, I understand hormones) and when I feel resentment toward the feminine and misunderstood (working on it!)
The strength of my core muscles play an important role too (working on that too!).
I donāt know the exact root cause yet (will I ever?), but last weekend was a massive initiation in deepening my journey as a human, woman, mother and facilitator.
Before last Saturday night at the Wild Village Festival, I had on and off back pain for a month.
I had been getting acupuncture (like Reiki but with needles) and osteopathy (yoga on steroids), but the long drive, cold weather and getting my period didnāt help.
That Saturday night, I woke up barely able to move. Back spasms, gasping for air with sudden movements and a lot of crying.
Iām so grateful for going to SkyBox Studio these past couple of years! Without the strength in my legs and arms, I believe I wouldnāt be able to move at all.
Iām also incredibly grateful for my friends, clients and strangers who supported me in ways I never thought possible.
Now my faith in the feminine being there when needed has been restored even more.
My bestie Kristy even pointed out how fast I was walking on Saturday and told me to slow down, well, I definitely did on Sunday! Maybe thatās the root cause too.
I had to leave my car in Perth and fly home, being pushed in a wheelchair through the airport! I admit accepting that level of help was a challenge! And I rejected it when I landed in Geraldton as I was trying to be all powerful and egocentric.
I know people with a spiritual psychosis reading this might have a field day with unsolicited advice, opinions and diagnoses.
But I donāt consent to that.
Iām in full control and responsible for my healing journey.
That said, my spirituality has definitely provided support, insight and awakenings.
My physical body is communicating with me.
I see this as an opportunity for a massive reset, a deeper perspective on my life and brought back down to earth even more.
Iāve pretty much had to go back to the beginning of life where I couldnāt walk and dress myself. I almost couldnāt wipe myself either but I got there! (Thanks again, Kristy, while she didnāt have to go that far with wiping me, she was prepared to and did have to help at times with my menstrual hygiene!)
As I recover, I must say Iām improving much quicker than I did at 27! Yay!
This gives me so much belief in myself, my body and complementary therapy.
Hereās whatās been helping me so far:
- Acupuncture (twice a week)
- Moxibustion daily (Iām doing this myself)
- Self-Sekhem, the Egyptian version of Reiki, connecting with Goddess Sekhmet, the goddess of healing, strength, protection and eradication
- Massage (thanks Cath from Mindful Body)
- TENS machine
- Magnesium Cream ( Thanks MelissaMade with Love )
- Tinderbox Plant Power body rub
- Balance between rest and movement
- Reading
- Homeopathy
- Guilt-free support around the house from Sam
- Happy Back program (on day four now and loving it; it feels designed specifically for my back!)
Iām also going to see a reputable Chiro in a couple of days to give me more insight into whatās actually physically going on with my back.
Going to take up Pilates too. Goodbye any yoga classes with too much forward folding!
Iāve made the tough decision to take time off Womb Hara massage until February when my core muscles are stronger and my back less tense. Shedding a tear now!
I had my first Sekhem Healing client today and it was awesome. Not a problem at all since I can stand straight the whole time! I would have rescheduled if I didnāt think I could do it. I finished on a high so thatās a sign itās a yes.
Iām still taking it slow though and just being with what is.
Iām sure thereās a lot more to say, but thatās all for now and my stream of consciousness!
Stay human! And take care of your back and physical body. Itās what is carrying your soul through this life.
ā¤ Melissa
