16/03/2023
Have you been led to believe that you or your child need to engage in endless therapies, appointments, strategies, plans, and just have a WHOLE LOT MORE willpower or discipline to 'get better'??
STOP!
STOP!!!!!!!
As has been so beautifully worded by Neurowild below, the goal in life should NEVER be to make someone LESS Autistic, or any type of Neurodivergence.
As for anyone, the 'goal' of life, and therapy, needs to be learning about ourselves, finding a sense of purpose and fulfillment in our world, and being safe to be who we are.
Having your, or your child's, neurotype formally identified (diagnosed) can be a daunting, if not traumatic experience for many of us.
I've been there, I've read the reports about myself or the people I love.
Often broken down in to a snapshot of all the ways you do not fit into the expected behaviour or thinking style that our society is built around. A list of 'goals' that will make you appear more like the 'normal' people (whatever that is).
STOP!!
Take a moment and look at the person you are, or your child is.
What do you love? What make you feel content, happy, refreshed, excited??
What are you good at? What are the values you bring to your world?
What are the differences you notice?
Are these harmful or dangerous to you or others?
If not, are they actually problematic or have you just been led to believe they are?
If they are harmful and/or dangerous, then do you have an understanding of where this comes from? Would being understood and supported in the way YOU need help alleviate some of this distress? Do the actions feel good, even just in the moment?? What is it that is being sought out - sensory input, distance from others, connection, space, alternative communication options???
Research is becoming clearer and clearer on this topic. Making someone believe they have to act in a way that is grossly at odds with their authentic self is HARMFUL.
Using bribes, coercion, threats, withholding, shame or intimidation are HARMFUL.
Masking is exhausting and can be harmful, even though it is a survival mechanism ("The need to mask, camouflage or hide your autistic self, including suppressing urges to move your body, forcing eye contact, or performing social roles" Jennifer Kemp "Autistic Burnout: A brief guide to recovery and prevention")
This is a big reason behind why I choose to offer clients assessments which are a more realistic representation of their experience in life. It's why Neurodiversity-Affirming practice isn't just a buzzword or an advertising message. It is the core of why we do what we do in all facets of our work.
Your Neurodivergence is part of your identity. It is part of your culture. It informs how you understand and move through this world.
It deserves a safe place to be explored, developed, valued, seen and heard. You deserve a village who recognises you as Neurokin, welcomes you as you are, where-ever you are, and raises you up.
Over the next little while I plan to share with you content and information on other people doing just that. Authors, clinicians, researchers, artists.... and whoever else I can find.
You are seen, You are heard, and You are loved. JUST. AS. YOU. ARE.
"Mauria Te Pono" (Maori proverb- Believe in Yourself)
Speech pathologists.
Psychologists.
Educators.
Parents.
Doctors.
Therapists.
Isn’t it brilliant to know that it is not, in fact, our job to make our kids seem less Autistic? I’m thrilled.
It’s actually our job to help them be happy with their Autistic selves. To learn about their brain. To explore their sensory processing differences and work out accommodations. To give them opportunities for authentic joy and unmasked communication. To help them discover their strengths. To learn who they are and celebrate them. To love and love and love some more, and to meet them with empathy, curiosity, kindness, and radical acceptance.
That is our job.
Em ☺️🌈🌻
AuDHD SLP
