02/02/2026
It has been deeply sad to witness an entire family lost. What has been most confronting, though, is not only the tragedy itself but the speed and certainty with which so many have rushed to judgment.
Many of those judging do not understand what it is like to live “on” at all times—to have no space for your own feelings, no room for rest, and to exist under relentless systemic pressure and bureaucracy. They do not know what it is like to be silenced, managed, reviewed, and scrutinised while carrying responsibilities that never switch off.
I keep hearing people say they need to “take care of their mental health.” That statement alone reflects a level of privilege. For many families, carers, and disabled people, there is no option to step back, no pause button, no protected space to prioritise themselves. Survival takes precedence over self-care.
It feels as though many speaking the loudest are doing so from positions of relative safety, passing judgment on a profoundly complex situation they do not truly understand. In doing so, they seem to have forgotten the realities laid bare during the Disability Royal Commission—systemic failure, neglect, isolation, and the devastating consequences of being unheard for too long.
I have never felt more isolated from my own community than I do right now. I am told not to empathise. Not to feel. Not to hold space for complexity. But empathy is not endorsement, and compassion is not excuse—it is humanity.
I will continue to unfollow and disengage from those who respond to tragedy with segregation and moral superiority rather than care. Community should mean coming together in moments of grief, not using loss as a battleground for personal narratives or ideological wins.
For the record: when other families fought for supports under the NDIS, it never took anything away from my own children—yet I still stood beside them. Because solidarity matters. Because none of us thrive by tearing each other down.
And to be clear: I don’t walk away to teach people a lesson. I walk away because I’ve learned mine.
What I am seeing now is not accountability or advocacy. It is judgment, division, and profoundly poor behaviour at a time when support, restraint, and humanity are what is most needed.
