29/04/2026
My newsletter is out today and it starts with something I think a lot of people will recognise: "The kind of exhaustion that doesn't come from doing too much. The kind that comes from trying to keep relationships stable, emotions contained, and outcomes predictable."
Most of us have been there.
Quietly managing. Over-functioning. Offering advice that wasn't asked for. Finding it hard to step back when someone we love is struggling. Hoping that if we just handle things carefully enough, everything will be okay.
This is anxiety, but not the kind we usually talk about. This is anxiety that moves through our relationships. That disguises itself as helpfulness, responsibility, and care. That quietly becomes a way of trying to control what happens around us, so that what happens inside us feels more bearable.
And here is what makes it so hard to see: it doesn't feel like control. It feels like love. It feels like responsibility. It feels like the right thing to do.
But the person caught in this pattern rarely feels powerful. More often they feel exhausted and burdened. Quietly convinced that if they stop managing everything around them, something important will fall apart.
This month's newsletter explores why anxiety drives us to control the people and situations around us and what might actually help.
If this type of resource seems helpful, I would love to have you on the mailing list for next month www.drkateowen.com
