25/11/2025
Ahh life with teens can be challenging and I’m often talking with parents about ‘picking your battles’ this is a helpful article that puts the spot light on some behaviours that as parents we can choose to let go of…
Unlike young children, teens question and challenge parents a lot. And they should. We want them to be independent decision-makers and learn to think for themselves.
But sometimes they resist any restrictions put on them and flat-out ignore rules and boundaries. There are a lot of reasons they may do this, such as:
-exerting independence
-trying to find their own sense of self
-frustration with something else in their life
-desire for control
-see how far they can push.
When you have a teen who is constantly pushing back, it can make it easy to fall into a pattern of constantly engaging in a battle of wills. But sometimes it’s better, both for your relationship and your own blood pressure, to just let it go. Some battles aren’t worth fighting.
Keep in mind that much of the turmoil of adolescence is temporary and will work itself out before adulthood (and sometimes ignoring rather than engaging makes them come around faster). Additionally, you want them to build resilience during these years.
Of course, as their parent, issues related to safety and overall wellbeing are non-negotiable, but here are ten fights parents of teens don’t need to have.
As parents, there are battles we need to fight, no matter what. House Rules and guidance on alcohol consumption, drug use, and safe s*x are constants.
But what about when your teen daughter shaves the side of her head? Or when your teen son has rolled his eyes a few too many times today? Sometimes, these are battles we don’t need to fight and buttons we don’t need to push. Plus, picking your battles with teens means they’ll have to fight some on their own and learn life skills that will benefit them in the long run.
Sometimes when we try to prove simply who is in charge, we end up in the weeds. We have to remind ourselves that in order to raise a productive, respectful adult, we have to give our kids respect and the opportunity to make decisions–and suffer consequences–on their own.
That means being flexible to understand their different perspective–no matter how ridiculous it sounds to you.
But it also means that we have to let our kids grow up a little and start making decisions for themselves, with some guidance and within certain bounds, of course. That means instead of constantly saying, “I know what’s best for you,” we have to start asking our kids, “What do you think is best for you?”
10 Battles to Stop Having with Your Teen
1. Their personal appearance
It’s normal for teens to want to experiment with new looks (especially if it will irritate their parents). These experiments may be “trying on” new concepts and redefining their own identity, or they might simply be trying to get a rise out of the grown-ups in their lives. Before you react, stop and think about why you don’t like their new look. Is it because it’s different from what you would do? Are you worried about what others will think and say? Or is there a good reason to object? Teens often make what many of us would call “interesting” choices, but some things simply aren’t worth arguing about.
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