12/03/2026
A client said something to me recently that I hear from women all the time.
“I think something is wrong with my libido.”
She loved her partner & was so grateful for her life.
But when it came to intimacy… something felt different.
The desire she used to feel just wasn’t there anymore.
And the way she described it was that maybe she had lost her spark.
Maybe this is just what happens after motherhood.
And underneath that… there was a lot of guilt.
Because she 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 to want it.
So she did what so many women do, she tried to fix it.
Reading books.
Listening to podcasts.
Trying to get herself “in the mood” (often with a wine or two!)
Pushing herself to initiate more - even when her body said no.
But when we slowed down & really looked at what was happening, she began to see something so clearly..
Her body wasn’t broken.. Her operating system was exhausted.
Motherhood & a family business had kept her in flight/fight for years.
Holding everyone together.
Managing the mental to-do lists.
Moving from one responsibility to the next without much space to actually exhale.
And a body that thinks it’s in survival mode.. isn’t thinking about pleasure.
It’s craving safety.
So instead of trying to 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦 desire back online, we worked with her nervous system. Helping her body soften again. Helping it feel safe enough to drop the tightness it had been holding for so long.
And slowly..
Her ‘spark’ returned.
Her body started responding again.
Desire began to show up naturally.
Because her body finally had the capacity to feel it again.
This is such a missing piece in the conversation around women, intimacy and desire (especially for mothers!!)
When the nervous system shifts, everything else shifts with it.
And intimacy stops feeling like another thing on the to-do list.
