30/04/2026
In my profession you encounter all sorts of truths displayed in people’s lives.
That’s what makes it a great job.
Obviously lots of people land on my humble doorstep with hopes for healing from some of life’s troubles.
Some of which are terribly painful and challenging.
Over the years I have had quite a few people come to my practice who have been through relationships with narcissists which have left them really disoriented and wounded.
This group ( the narcissists) are among the most destructive people that you could encounter.
As it happens they popped up in general conversation today.
My sage like Hindu mate popped in for a cuppa and had his spin on this dynamic, he says that they are actually more dangerous than psychopaths.
Now he is a landscaper and I am a therapist, and as we both do a lot of digging on other people’s behalf, we thought we could nut this out.
When I questioned him about this comment his answer was very interesting.
He said “ narcissists have generally been wounded profoundly and deeply, to the point where their soul is not available “
I liked this perspective a lot, it fell into my understanding of the situation.
I then added to the conversation.
“It’s gone into a collapsed state and is offline”, yes he said, and then leaving only the ego and personality to navigate in the world.”
Hence the individual’s dealings with others does not really register with their soul at all - everything becomes superficial and self serving.
He made a really interesting hand gesture as if to say that the soul aspect of the person was flattened into a horizontal position and unavailable.
That was highly symbolic, because our consciousness is associated with our vertical position, when we sleep we are horizontal and the subconscious rules the roost.
Ultimately narcissism on this level is a self preservation process that collapses the ‘risk component ‘( of having their soul available or exposed), and what’s left is the havoc of a narcissistic personality navigating the world.
It’s basically impossible for them to truly register themselves because of the collapsed inner workings of their self.
A really crazy making aspect of these relationships is that you can actually love these people, parts of them are often highly loveable, and you may even profess to have a glimpse of their soul qualities.
Here the relationship often takes a true battering, because they cannot relate at all to what you see or sense, it’s unavailable to them.
They can’t sense themselves as a soul or you.
They are as useful in a relationship sense on this level as someone with dementia, they ain’t available.
Even as their partner with your many impassioned pleas for comprehension, which are generally a true voice of reason is never enough, because the person is offline in these critical ways.
You may as well be talking to the cat.
In many people simple versions of trauma can collapse aspects of our central nervous systems capacity to function, but in narcissists, the trauma has gone much deeper.
If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist you will have been through a very difficult situation.
Not surprisingly, part of the healing process is re-establishing your own sense of self.
Michael : 0487111008
Limited appointments available.
