Tamara Sykes Kinesiology

13/11/2025

I think for many of us in midlife, “making space” isn’t just about moving furniture.
It’s about clearing out old expectations, past versions of ourselves, and emotional clutter we didn’t even realise we’d been carrying.

Maybe it’s the corner where your kids’ school bags used to live, or the desk you haven’t touched since your last big project.

Maybe it’s the shelf that’s always held everyone else’s things but never something that was yours.

These small spaces, physical, emotional, and energetic, hold memories and meaning. And when we start gently reclaiming them, we send a quiet message to ourselves:

"I still matter. I’m still here. And this chapter gets to be mine too."

I think for many of us in midlife, “making space” isn’t just about moving furniture. It’s about clearing out old expectations, past versions of ourselves, and emotional clutter we didn’t even realise we’d been carrying.

12/11/2025

The past few weeks have been all about transforming my home into a space that feels more me rather than just functional. I’ve been scouring op shops, exploring little vintage finds, and collecting pieces that give me a little spark of joy, or at least make me smile every time I walk past them. Tiny treasures, quirky lamps, the perfect piece of furniture. It’s amazing how little touches can shift the energy of a whole room.

It’s reminded me that rediscovery isn’t just about who we are, it’s also about the life we create around us.

So here’s a tip to try

Find one small corner, shelf, or space in your home and make it yours.

Add something that makes you smile, that inspires you, or that simply feels “you.” It could be a plant, a candle, a little book, or even a quirky thrifted item. Watch how these small personal touches ripple into your mood, energy, and sense of presence.

For women in midlife, especially those who’ve spent years prioritising everyone else, these little acts of self-care, physical and visual, are surprisingly powerful. They’re a gentle reminder that you matter too.

What’s one thing you’d love to make yours in your space

The little vintage photo frame was the final piece of my booksplantstrinkets shelf and wall.

31/10/2025

Some days, the most healing thing I can do is sit quietly in the garden and let my body remember what calm feels like.

For so long, my nervous system only knew how to brace; for the next problem, the next crisis, the next thing that needed fixing. Even after life slowed down, I found it hard to slow down with it.

But these small, quiet moments: a book in hand, birds in the background, soil rich with new life, they’re teaching me something I never learned in survival mode.

That stillness is safe.

That calm isn’t the absence of doing, it’s the presence of being.

If you’ve been living in that in-between space (not quite in chaos anymore, but still learning how to rest), you’re not alone. It takes time for the body to catch up to the heart.

I help women like us reconnect with their calm again. I do this gently, through kinesiology, conversation, and nervous system support.

If that sounds like what you’ve been needing, I’d love to work with you.

🌿
You can message me anytime, or book a session through the link in my bio.

25/10/2025

24/10/2025

When they were little, I was the conductor.
Now I’m in the audience; watching them play their own symphony. 🎵 ❤️ 🎼🎶

21/10/2025

For the longest time, I have done everything myself. It wasn’t even a conscious decision, it was survival. My ex was an abusive man, not physically but mentally, emotionally, psychologically. It was easier to do it all.

I left him. Twice. When my boys were little. The final time, my eldest had just turned four and my youngest was twelve and a half months old. There wasn’t anyone else to rely on. Life went on, the daily parenting, running of the household etc, the days and years blurring together. The manipulation continued as they grew.

Fast forward to three months after my eldest turned 15. He was diagnosed with CKD (chronic kidney disease). During the next three years there were multiple hospital visits and hospital stays for him. My youngest developed social anxiety, left school and fell into a deep depression which still sits with him today.

After three years of trying to stop his kidneys from failing, just after he turned 18, my eldest son started nightly peritoneal dialysis (PD). 3 years and 7 months later, he had a kidney transplant. My youngest, deep in depression, tried to pull himself out of it. I took him on many visits to doctors and therapist, gave him daily massages with calming and soothing essential oils and tried to support him as much as I could, as much as he would allow. I was working full time, studying, and doing my best to hold it all together while the weight of it sat on my chest like a second skin.

Now, years later, even as things have got quieter, my body hasn’t.
My nervous system doesn’t know what calm feels like anymore, it only knows how to brace.

It’s taken me a long time to realise that just because I can do it all, doesn’t mean I should.

I started a new job two months ago, it involves three hours of travel a day, three days a week. I can feel my old survival patterns blaring their way through each day. The push, the rush, the exhaustion. But this time, I’m catching it.

And I’ve done something different.
I’ve booked a cleaner. She’s coming today. She’s resetting my house and she’ll return for a couple of hours, every fortnight. She’ll release some of the chaos, some of the tension, some of the pressure.

Booking a cleaner might sound small to some of you, but for me, it is huge. I’ve chosen me and my calm, my nervous system, over the overwhelming need to save every penny just in case I need it.

This isn’t about the cleaning; it’s about allowing myself to be supported. It’s about reminding my body it’s safe to rest. About trusting that the world won’t fall apart if I stop holding everything up for a while.

At this stage of my life, there’s a bit more breathing room, my boys are grown, the bills are lighter, and I finally have a little money that’s mine. And I’m learning to spend it in ways that bring me peace, not just survival.

So, if you’re reading this and still carrying it all, I feel you and see you.

Maybe your version of help isn’t a cleaner. Maybe it’s a meal delivery, or asking a friend to sit with you while you fold washing, or taking ten minutes outside before you start your day (I do this every morning and now every evening and even just before I go to bed – I sit outside with the sun or moon shining on my face, feeling the breeze whisper across my skin).

We aren’t meant to do it all alone. Sometimes life gives us no choice. When the dust finally settles, learning how to not do everything can feel strange. This is your reminder that asking for help, in any form, is part of healing, not failure.

Please, share your story with me.

19/10/2025

The Freedom to Follow a Whim

There’s a kind of freedom that comes when life finally slows down enough for spontaneity to slip back in.
Today, it looked like a bookshelf.

I was talking with a friend about weekend plans and casually mentioned that I’d bought a bookshelf and sent her a pic. She asked if she could make suggestions, and before I knew it, she said, “I’m coming over now,” still in her pyjamas.

Ten minutes later, she walks through my door, dressed in her pyjamas and holding a cup of tea. And then, there we were, two women standing amidst piles books, plants, and trinkets that each told a little piece of my story. We moved things around, swapped ideas, laughed at our indecision, and somehow, by the end of it, the shelf wasn’t just styled, it felt lived.

Like a cat, that corner of the house has had so many lives. It’s held different sofas over the years, each one a little stage for memories. My boys sitting there reading or playing games of chess and puzzles, the soft hum of conversation, the occasional disagreement over who won. Pets curled up at our feet or claiming the sofas as their own. It’s been a space of togetherness, laughter, and chaos in the best kind of way.

And now, it’s evolving again. It's becoming something that reflects me. A quiet, grounded space that holds both the stories of the past and the comfort of this new chapter. The bookshelf feels like a symbol of that, a collection of books I love, memories that still make me smile, and little touches that make my home mine again.

What I love most about midlife is this freedom to follow a whim. To say yes to unexpected visits. To spend a whole morning doing something that feels small but fills your heart anyway.

No rush. No deadlines. Just the joy of creating something beautiful with someone who gets you.

We're heading out now to shop for linen. Something soft and light to drape across the window and the shelf, to balance all that warm wood and add a gentle touch of flow.

It’s these simple, unplanned moments. It's shared cups of tea, laughter in our pyjamas, that remind me how good it feels to just be. To let life unfold one beautiful, ordinary moment at a time.

18/09/2025

20 ways to rekindle that passion of yours and help make today ridiculously amazing:

1. Engage in consistent action.

2. Constantly picture yourself beyond your current circumstances. Dream enormously big and hold that dream deep within your mind, body and spirit.

3. Spend time in solitude to just think and visualize.

4. Write your most important goal on a note card and look at it five times a day. Say it out loud and believe with a deep conviction that it will become a reality.

5. Drink tons of water. It’s impossible to operate to the best of your ability and tap into your full potential if you are dehydrated. Our minds and bodies need water in order to perform at an extremely high-level.

6. Eat to win. If you don’t want junk results stay away from junk food. The bottom line is that we are what we eat.

7. Get your sweat on. One of the best productivity tools that you can utilize is to get a workout in at some point throughout your day. Whether you go to the gym or at home, make the time.

8. Pick up a book for 15-20 minutes and get lost in it. Just as our bodies need physical exercise, our minds need to stay mentally fit.

9. Spend your time around those who lift you up and encourage your vision, not belittle it. We are the average of the five people we hang out with the most. Pick your company wisely.

10. Make time to grow. Carve out 30 min to an hour and find ways to personally and professionally grow.

11. Turn off the music in your car and listen to an audiobook. Most of us spend hours in a car daily, utilize that time to better yourself and learn.

12. Keep a journal. Record your thoughts, ideas and strategies. We have roughly 20,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Don’t let an idea or strategy go to waste. Never rely solely on your memory.

13. Think of five things you are grateful for right this second. It can be something as simple as how beautiful is mother nature or how wonderful your family is. Be grateful for what you have and you will eventually end up having more.

14. Snack on almonds. Great source of protein and other minerals and vitamins that will increase your energy levels and keep performance in peak state.

15. Say “I love you” more often. Don’t let a day go by where you don’t tell those you love how much they truly mean to you. Life is short and by simply saying the words “I love you” will bring you an immense sense of satisfaction.

16. Treat others how you want to be treated. In business and in the game of life, people matter. If you want to truly win in both, make every person you come in contact with feel important.

17. Have a green smoothie. Instead of turning to caffeine turn to the power of mother nature and blend yourself up a delicious, energizing and healthy green smoothie. One of my favorites is two handfuls of organic spinach, one apple, juice of one lemon, three stalks of celery, and ginger root. There are plenty of recipes available to you online.

18. Take a post-it-note or note-card and write down some quotes that move, inspire and empower you. There will be times throughout the day that might upset you or discourage you. Constantly feeding your mind with words that inspire and empower you will instantly get you back on your feet ready to hit the ground running.

19. Cut off all distractions. When it’s time to work, work. When it’s time to relax, relax. Discipline yourself to stay off Facebook and other social media sites when you are working on a computer. If you are in an office, hang up a "Do Not Disturb'' sign if possible. Focus completely on the task at hand.

20. Take full and complete responsibility for your life. Own up to your mistakes and never fall into the trap of playing the ever-so-popular blame game.

05/09/2025

No one prepares you for the silence children leave behind when they grow up.

Not the silence of an empty house,
but the silence that seeps into your heart,
when they stop asking what to do,
when they stop seeking your advice,
when they begin to live without you.

And yes, you smile.
Because that’s what you prayed for, to see them spread their wings.
But behind the smile something cracks softly inside.

🌸 Being the mother of adult children is different.
It’s holding back your words when you know they’re wrong.
It’s swallowing the urge to call when they don’t answer.
It’s learning the hardest love of all,
to love without holding,
to care without clinging,
to guide without being seen.

Sometimes they share pieces of their world.
Many times, they don’t.
And you pretend it doesn’t sting, but it does.
It hurts not to be at the center anymore.
It hurts to feel they don’t need you, at least, not like before.

And still, you remain.
Cooking their favorite dish when they visit.
Straightening the old photos they once loved.
Whispering prayers into the night,
as if your faith could shield them from the storms.

Because a mother never stops being a mother.
She only learns to love from the shadows,
from a quiet corner,
from a trembling heart,
from a prayer no one hears,
but one that sustains everything.

💡 Moral: Being the mother of an adult child means stepping out of the center of their life, but continuing to love them with the same fire. Some loves don’t fade. They simply learn to wait, in silence.

Shared from another page.
Pic: my eldest son and his childrens python

06/08/2025

Anyone want to buy a Kia Stonic sports model? Less than 70,000kms. 2021 model. Manual. Black.

05/08/2025

Can you help?

I’d love to have a few quiet conversations with women who are in that in-between stage of motherhood:

The kids are older, maybe out of the house, doing their own thing.
And you’re left with space.

A bit of relief.

And, if you’re honest, a quiet ache that’s hard to put into words.

It’s not that you’re lost.
But where do you put all that care and focus now?

All that energy you once poured into everyone else?

If this has you nodding, I’d love to have a relaxed, 30-minute chat with you.

I’m listening and gathering stories about what this season really feels like, not the clichés, but the truth:

✨ What’s shifted
✨ What feels missing
✨ What you didn’t expect (like the grief no one talks about)
✨ What kind of support would actually feel good

As a thank you, I’d love to offer you a free 30-minute applied kinesiology session, something soft and supportive to help release what’s sitting heavy and connect you with what matters.

If you're open to chatting, comment below or DM me and I’ll send you a link to book a time that suits.

Thank you for being part of this conversation. This season matters more than we give it credit for.

02/08/2025

Fully embracing my old lady era.

I make soup for fun.
I grow herbs and talk to them like they’re my friends.
I get excited about a fresh pair of socks and a quiet morning.

I’m done with the pressure to be “busy” all the time.
I’m not chasing hustle, or perfection, or anyone else’s expectations.
I want slow. I want real. I want peace.

This season of life?
It’s not a crisis.
It’s a reclamation.
It's a becoming.
It's an awakening.

The world needs more of it.

So yes, I’ll be over here in my garden, with a tea on the edge of the garden bed, and essential oils in my bra,

Thriving in my old lady era.

Unbothered. Unapologetic.
Unavailable for nonsense.

Feel free to join me.