ConnectEd Counselling and Consultancy

03/05/2026

How many episodes were there of Mr Bean? If you're like me, and remember it from your childhood, you would have said 50 or 100 or so. You would be wrong. The correct answer is 15.

I’ve recently re-watched Mr Bean with my daughter and was SO surprised to see how few episodes there actually were. In my mind, it was this long-running, iconic series of comedy… and in reality, it was a very small collection of episodes.

It got me thinking about childhood memories and nostalgia.

💬 Our memory for fine detail isn’t nearly as reliable as we might think.
Instead, we tend to hold onto stories.

Some of those stories are accurate.
Some are a little distorted.
And some… are quietly reshaped over time.

And the tricky part?
We don’t always know which is which.

✨ One type of memory we often carry with us is nostalgia.
Those moments that just felt good.

➤ A show we loved
➤ A place we visited
➤ A small, seemingly ordinary moment that stayed with us

It makes sense that we’re drawn back to these things. The feeling attached to them can be warm, comforting, and grounding.

📌 And while we’re reflecting on this…

Our kids are doing the same thing in real time.

They are constantly:
🔹 Forming memories
🔹 Building their own stories
🔹 Creating their own moments of nostalgia

But here’s the part that can catch us off guard:

The things they hold onto… aren’t always the things we expect.

You might plan the big holiday, organise the special outing, create what feels like a “core memory”…
And later, they tell you their favourite part was something small and unexpected.

💭 Sitting together at the airport
💭 Playing a silly game in the hotel room
💭 Getting home and being back in their own space

It’s a good reminder that:

✨ We don’t get to choose our children’s memories for them
—but we do influence what they notice

The moments we slow down for
The things we give attention to
The way we respond, connect, and show up

These are the threads that help shape the stories they’ll carry forward.

And often, it’s the simplest moments…
that end up meaning the most.

At ConnectEd Counselling and Consultancy, we believe that all families, and the communities they belong to, benefit from a little extra care and support. Whether the problems are big or small, we want to make sure everyone has the chance to feel connected - to themselves, to others and to their community. We offer counselling services to young people and families and have immediate availability.

17/04/2026

We’ve been thinking about creating a FREE Facebook Live session with Dr Matt, focusing on raising boys and making sense of some of these conversations in a practical, evidence-based way.

But before we do… we’d really value your input.

💬 So we’ve got two questions for you:

➤ Would you be interested in tuning into a free session like this?

➤ What are the qualities you think make a “good man”?

Let us know in the comments!

03/04/2026

✨ PSA for parents (and educators who open bags… at their own risk)

There are few things more confronting than opening a school bag at the end of term… and discovering a lunchbox that has… evolved.

We’re not just talking about leftovers anymore.
We’re talking about new life forms.

💬 “I’ll clean it later” has entered its final stage.
💬 The banana is now a liquid.
💬 Something in there might be… breathing?

➤ A gentle reminder (for all of us):
Empty the lunchbox before it becomes a science experiment.

And if it’s already too late…
Well… thoughts and prayers.

At ConnectEd Counselling and Consultancy, we know that it’s often the little, everyday things that can turn into big moments—sometimes funny, sometimes not so much. Supporting young people (and the adults around them) is often about helping with these small, practical habits that make life just that bit easier

01/04/2026

April Fools today… so I thought I’d try and stitch up my team 😄

For context… I have a glitter ban at work (and at home!) ✨🚫
And yet a few crafty clinicians have still managed to sneak it in anyway…

So this morning they received an email expressing my outrage at coming into the office and finding this (thank you ChatGPT!) 📧

Not sure how successful I was in fooling them… but it was worth a shot 😅

- Dr Matt

17/03/2026

✨ Soft skills, random skills… and the things we didn’t know we’d need

I often talk with young people (and adults) about the importance of two types of skills:

🔹 Soft skills – the ones that carry across lots of situations
(communication, problem-solving, flexibility, persistence)

🔹 Random skills – the ones you pick up along the way
(often because you enjoy them… or just because life required it at some point!)

The interesting thing?
We tend to undervalue both.

They’re often not formally taught.
They don’t always show up on a report card.
And yet… they are everywhere.

💬 The way you navigate a tricky conversation
💬 The way you figure something out when no one showed you how
💬 The way you adapt when things don’t go to plan

These are the skills that quietly do a lot of heavy lifting in life.

Today was a bit of a “random skills” day for me.

I set up and configured a new router for the office (cue my love of tech)…
and then did a bit of re-styling to make the space more functional (less love, more necessity 😄).

Not exactly things I planned to be doing when I first started out.

But that’s kind of the point.

📌 The roles we step into — parent, educator, clinician, employee —
often ask more of us than we expect.

And over time, we adapt.

We learn.
We experiment.
We figure things out.

✨ There’s something worth holding onto here

For young people (and for us):

➤ Not everything valuable is obvious at the time
➤ Not everything useful is taught directly
➤ And not everything you learn needs to be “on purpose” to matter

Sometimes the “random” skills… aren’t so random after all.

They become part of how we cope, create, connect, and contribute.

💬 What are some “random skills” you’ve picked up along the way?
💬 And which soft skills are quietly helping you more than you realise?

Chances are… they’re doing more for you than you give them credit for.

At ConnectEd Counselling and Consultancy, we believe that all families, and the communities they belong to, benefit from a little extra care and support. Whether the problems are big or small, we want to make sure everyone has the chance to feel connected – to themselves, to others and to their community.

www.connectedcc.com.au

Dr Matt

15/03/2026

💬 A very boring story about a dishwasher

Our dishwasher died.

Not a particularly thrilling story. But when it died, I was annoyed. We had a full load of dishes in it and suddenly I had to: unload it, clean everything by hand, research which dishwasher might suck less than the previous one (which we only bought a few years ago), order a new one, organise disconnection of the old one, delivery and installation of the new one.

Now that is starting to sound more like a busy household problem… but still not a very thrilling story.

Part way through the “ugh, this is annoying” cycle, I had a bit of a reality slap.

How fortunate am I that:

➤ I can afford to replace a dishwasher
➤ I had the time and flexibility to organise all those steps
➤ Within 24 hours we had a new one installed and running

Because that isn’t everyone’s reality.

In many homes, something like this turning up broken isn’t just inconvenient. It can create real stress around finances, routines, and already stretched mental bandwidth.

And that got me thinking about gratitude.

✨ Gratitude is a thinking skill.

Some people find it comes more naturally. But for most of us, especially as we get older, we are surrounded by a culture that doesn’t really favour gratitude, savouring or contentment. Complaining, comparison and frustration tend to be the louder voices.

Like most thinking patterns, the opportunity is to notice where our mind goes — and gently redirect it toward something that better fits with the kind of person we want to be.

So here is the alternate version of my very boring story:

Our dishwasher died.

And within 24 hours, we had a new one installed and washing dishes again.

How lucky are we that it could be that quick and that easy.

📌 It’s not about pretending annoyances don’t exist.
📌 It’s about remembering the bigger context we’re living in.

Sometimes the difference between a grizzle and gratitude is just the way we choose to tell the story to ourselves.

Dr Matt O'Connor

At ConnectEd Counselling and Consultancy, we believe that families and communities benefit from a little extra care and support. Whether the problems are big or small, we want to help people feel more connected — to themselves, to others and to their community.

If you need some support, you can learn more here:
www.connectedcc.com.au

10/03/2026

✨ How am I feeling? Helping young people make sense of their emotions

One of the most important skills children develop over time is learning to recognise what they are feeling.

That might sound simple… but it’s actually quite complex.

When feelings are small, it’s usually easy enough for kids to say they feel happy, sad, or annoyed. But when emotions become stronger, it can be much harder for them to identify what’s happening internally — let alone communicate it to someone else.

And when we can’t recognise what we’re feeling, it becomes much harder to regulate it.

That’s where simple tools can really help.

📌 We’ve created a free “How am I feeling?” thermometer resource that you can use with children and teenagers to help them identify the intensity of their emotions. You can grab a high resolution version of it here: https://connectedcc.com.au/free-parenting-resources/

Instead of just asking “How are you feeling?”, this tool helps them think about:

• Where am I on the scale right now?
• Are my feelings small, medium, big… or huge?
• What might help me move back towards calm?

The colours give young people a simple way to describe their emotional state:

🟢 Green – Little feelings
Calm, relaxed, comfortable.

🟡 Yellow – Medium feelings
Starting to feel bothered, unsure, or unsettled.

🟠 Orange – Big feelings
Strong emotions like worry, frustration, or excitement.

🔴 Red – Huge feelings
Overwhelming emotions like anger, panic, or feeling completely flooded.

💬 There are a few different ways you can use the language in this resource.
Some children might prefer to talk about the colour, others about the size of the feeling, and some might connect with the number on the thermometer.

This flexibility helps support young people across a wide range of ages and developmental stages — from those who prefer broader descriptions to those who want something more specific.

💬 A helpful way to use this is during calm moments — not just when emotions are already running high. You might ask:

• “Where do you think you were on the scale today?”
• “What does yellow feel like in your body?”
• “What helps you get back to green?”

These conversations help young people build the language and awareness they need to understand themselves better over time.

And that awareness is one of the foundations of emotional regulation.

Get a high resolution version of the image on our website, where we have heaps of other free resources, guides and webinars you might find helpful: https://connectedcc.com.au/free-parenting-resources/

03/03/2026

Supporting and connecting with our community has always been important to us - and even more so when it is a personal connection (Dr Matt's wife) doing great things in our local community. A huge congratulations to Meg and Omni Academies of Learning for the incredible work supporting students through their high school learning in a way that is as unique as it is supportive. And congratulations to all the other amazing women nominated for the important work that they do.

If you would like to give a vote for Meg (or any of the other nominees!) you can do so here: https://toowongvillage.com.au/inspiring-women-of-toowong

24/02/2026

The other day, my daughter asked me to look after her doll while she went out.

I accepted this responsibility.

After all… I am a father.

A short while later, I sent these photos to Mum.

Apparently, I didn't do such a great job.
• Trampolining upside down is “not appropriate supervision”
• Driving the car is “highly unsafe”
• Cooking over an open flame is “absolutely unacceptable”

In my defence, I was encouraging independence.
Building resilience.
Developing life skills.

All jokes aside — it was a funny reminder of something important.

When our kids hand us what they care about — whether it’s a doll, a story from school, or their big feelings — they’re trusting us with it.

They’re watching what we do.

Parenting is full of light-hearted moments.
But underneath them are tiny deposits of trust.

I may not be trusted with doll duty again anytime soon. But she knows my sense of humour and happily traded the joke for a bit of future trust for doll-sitting!

- Matt O'Connor
www.connectedcc.com.au

21/02/2026

Can small changes really make a difference?

A new meta-analysis suggests that just five extra minutes of moderate physical activity per day is associated with a 10% reduction in all-cause mortality.

Five minutes.

Not a complete life overhaul.
Not a new identity.
Not a 12-week transformation.

Just… five minutes.

✨ Incremental improvement matters.

We live in a culture that loves big goals:
• New year, new me
• 10,000 steps a day
• Train for a marathon
• Completely change your diet

And while big goals can be motivating, they can also be paralysing.

Life is busy.
Families are stretched.
Work is demanding.
The juggle is real.

When the bar feels too high, we often do nothing.

But “nothing” and “something small” are very different things.

➤ Five minutes is a short walk around the block.
➤ Five minutes is stretching while the kettle boils.
➤ Five minutes is parking a little further away.

Small shifts are achievable.
Achievable builds confidence.
Confidence builds momentum.

And this isn’t just about physical activity.

The same principle applies to:
• Connection with your child
• Improving your sleep
• Strengthening your relationship
• Supporting your wellbeing

Anything is better than nothing.

We often underestimate the power of tiny, consistent actions because they don’t feel dramatic. But over time, small changes compound.

💬 What if instead of asking “How can I change everything?” we asked “What is one small thing I could do today?”

For many of the families I work with, the pressure to do more, be more, achieve more is already high. Sometimes the most helpful shift is lowering the bar to something realistic — and then actually doing it.

Five minutes.
One small step.
A tiny course correction.

It might matter more than you think.

Can small changes in physical activity make a major difference?

A new meta-analysis suggests that just five extra minutes of moderate physical activity a day is associated with a 10% reduction in all deaths in the majority of adults. Explore the latest data 👉 http://spkl.io/6189AvEML

18/02/2026

This week we said farewell to our good friend and colleague, Angela, who is stepping back from private practice for a time (we hope not forever though!).

Anyone who has worked in education, counselling or pastoral care knows that these roles are not just “jobs”. They are deeply relational. They ask us to hold stories, sit with complexity, celebrate growth and walk alongside people in some of their hardest seasons.

One of the things we have always wanted for our team (and our clients) is for each person to choose a path that best meets their needs and values. We are really grateful to have been able to provide that for Angela

And a last small, very “Angela” detail…

Pictured is our last whiteboard message from her. She works Saturdays, so we don’t always cross paths — but like a thoughtful ninja, she always leaves a little message so we know she was there. Those small gestures have meant more than she probably realises.

—

At ConnectEd Counselling and Consultancy, we believe that all families, and the communities they belong to, benefit from a little extra care and support. Whether the problems are big or small, we want to make sure everyone has the chance to feel connected — to themselves, to others and to their community. www.connectedcc.com.au

16/02/2026

4 hours.

That’s how long it took me to hang a curtain this week.

Four. Hours.

Why? Because pretty much everything that could go wrong… did.

• I snapped screws trying to drill into the wall
• My drill broke
• The backup drill had the wrong bit
• The extension curtain rod had no way of locking (so it kept falling down)
• The rod ends were too thin to lock into the end plates

There were also two car trips involved.

I started the job expecting it would take half an hour. Quick win. Easy tick off the list.

Instead, I found myself frustrated, muttering under my breath, and wondering why something so “simple” felt so hard.

And it got me thinking…

✨ How often do we set out to do something, fully expecting it to go smoothly — only to be thwarted by reality?

As adults, we (eventually) draw on our templates:
• Problem-solving
• Emotional regulation
• Persistence
• Perspective
• A bit of humour (sometimes delayed!)

We’ve built those over years.

But our kids?

They don’t yet have those templates.

When their Lego build collapses.
When the homework doesn’t make sense.
When a friendship goes sideways.
When the plan they had in their head doesn’t match what actually happens.

To them, it can feel like a four-hour curtain job… without the life experience to steady them.

That’s why modelling matters so much.

Not just telling them to “calm down” or “try again”.

But letting them see:
• That frustration is normal
• That things don’t always go to plan
• That we can pause, reassess and try a different approach
• That persistence sometimes looks messy

And even naming it:

💬 “I’m pretty frustrated right now. I thought this would be quick. I’m going to take a breath and work out what to try next.”

That’s gold.

We’re not just fixing curtains.
We’re building coping.
We’re demonstrating problem-solving.
We’re showing them what it looks like to stay in the game when it would be easier to quit.

Now we wait… and hope the curtain stays up.

And if it doesn’t?

Well, that’ll be another lesson in persistence.

www.connectedcc.com.au