18/05/2025
“We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain…”
And God - have I felt pain.
Bone deep. Soul splitting.
The kind that drags you to the ocean floor and dares you to rise.
But I did. Over and over.
This is me now ~
Walking out of the water with salt in my wounds and fire in my chest.
Not washed clean. Not erased.
But reborn through every scream I swallowed.
Every night I begged for one more breath that never came.
Every time life broke me and I stitched myself back together
with shaking hands and sacred rage.
I’ve met the kind of grief that makes the earth stop spinning.
I’ve known love that broke me open and never let me close again.
And still, I choose to feel.
To live wide open.
To meet pleasure like I once met pain - fully, wildly, unapologetically.
Because my softness was never weakness.
It was the doorway to my power.
The place where Spirit entered.
This isn’t just a walk from the sea.
It’s a resurrection.
And I will never go back to sleep again.
What once broke me open now lets my soul breathe. I am light leaking through every wound and I’m here to use that light to help you remember yours.
Shan xo
