Jenny Blake The Crystal Doula

05/10/2025

Thought provoking…. we really do only span 3 generations, maybe 4 if we are lucky. Inspired by a book I’m reading on the train. We live two lives, and how we live and love determines the memories 🪶

10/08/2025

Did you know….

Did you know the minimum standards for a Natural Burial must include the following details;
• Be a single depth burial;
• Have only one body per plot;
• Have not more than one metre of soil above the body or container at the deepest point;
• Use a plant or protein-based material shroud or an eco-friendly biodegradable coffin;
• Not include any plastic unless it is compostable;
• Not include the use of an underground vault; and
• Require the body of the deceased to –
1. Only wear natural protein based or plant based materials;
2. Not have had chemical preparations or plastics used in preparation; and
3. Not be embalmed or having only been embalmed with non-toxic chemicals.

If you have any questions or would like to know more, please visit our website to learn more - www.ndan.com.au

31/07/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/16kEbdRQXw/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Making artisan plant dyed funeral shrouds for environment friendly & whānau led death care. Personalised shrouds and ready mades. Natural Burial advocate.

18/07/2025

08/07/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/16isQhJXjZ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

02/07/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AsU4PTpEp/?mibextid=wwXIfr

About six months ago, I sat at the bedside of a woman who took her very last breath. She made me promise that I would look after her husband after she died. Once a week I meet him and we take a walk around his neighborhood. He is grieving, he is struggling, and he cries often. We talk about his wife a lot. Each week I come up with a new question that gives him the opportunity to go down memory lane and share about their life together. And I listen.

For the first five months, his dog walked with us. She was a beautiful distraction for him, and gave him purpose as he woke up each day missing his wife. About three weeks ago she started getting sick and he finally had to make the difficult decision to let her go, which broke his heart.

When I show up to his house to walk, he walks out his door, without his dog, and looks at me and cries. So now I am supporting him while he grieves his wife and his dog. His heart is just so sad. I often feel that I have a loss for words, disappointed that nothing I say will make him feel better. 

He tries to find joy in each day, he hikes with his friends, he eats well and works in his garden, but he is lonely. It is really hard to move on with your life not just grieving someone you love, but also trying to figure out who you are now that they are gone. He feels lost.

Yesterday I met him for a walk. We had moments of tears which is not abnormal, but I also felt that there was some healing happening. We laughed more than usual, and we had a wonderful conversation.

As we came around the corner to get back to his house, a neighbor was watering his garden and said hello. I was introduced, hands were shaked, and he asked my friend how he was doing. He then asked where his dog was and why she wasn’t walking with us. He told the neighbor that she had died and he started to cry.

The neighbor said this:
“Oh. Wow. I am so surprised to hear this. She was such a beautiful dog. She was like the mayor of the neighborhood and everybody loved her. I am really sorry for your loss. I know you miss her, we will all miss her. I am here if you want to talk about her. We can talk about your wife too, any time you want to.”

I could see the reaction my friend had to his kind and compassionate words. He was grateful for them, and it brought him comfort. I can’t speak for him, but it felt to me like his neighbor‘s words helped him to feel seen and acknowledged. Sometimes I wonder if he feels like he has to hide from the grief and not let anyone see that he is hurting. Adding the death of his dog to his grieving, has elevated his grief in a new way. His neighbors words were thoughtful and supportive, and something I believe my friend needed. 

Let’s all be more like his neighbor…
He saw my friend, he honored his sadness, and he offered him a safe place to talk about his wife and his dog. That was a gift, a beautiful, generous gift. 

❤️
xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

13/05/2025

Love your work

01/05/2025

Things are moving in the right direction. Evidence based practices to support our roles.

https://www.bmj.com/content/387/bmj.q2853?

Hospice and palliative care can only do so much. Doulas—non-medical, community based practitioners—could have a central role in demedicalising and deinstitutionalising dying to help people navigate the holistic care they need at the end of life, writes Marian Krawczyk More people are ageing and ...

25/04/2025

Helping people care for others at end of life, and meeting them where they are at. Always leaving room for your future self to step in.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18cpUZgUzW/?mibextid=wwXIfr

19/03/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1G8rY5vCsi/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I am going to go a little off topic today... but that is what keeps things interesting, right?

Someone asked me if I have any pet peeves relative to the way people are cared for when they are declining from age or illness. I have many, but two really stick out because they are the easiest to do better at, and the ones most people are really lazy about.

1. Mouth sponges. PLEASE do not leave them soaking in water/juice after being used. I cringe when I see this. Would you want someone using a soggy sponge that has been soaking in something for god knows how long, on you? If you HAVE to reuse it, clean it really well and then place it on top of the glass, in a dish, or on a napkin, and change the water! (Same goes for a toothbrush) ugh 😩
Human beings deserve better that!

My preference: throw away the sponge after each use. They really aren’t meant to be reused.

2. A cool cloth on a warm head is heaven to someone who is hot. Do it and do it often. But PLEASE do not leave it there and walk a way. A cold cloth on a warm head becomes a wet warm cloth, which is not comfortable. Sometimes the cloth slips down and covers their eyes, which can be claustrophobic and scary. Sometimes when it stays there for too long, it itches. Imagine someone lying there, who cannot verbalize how uncomfortable they are, and cannot remove it themselves.

My advice: Stay for a few minutes, dab the cool cloth on their forehead, their cheeks, the back of the neck, and even over each eye (one at a time). Make sure to tell them what you are doing, especially if they are non-responsive. Please rinse it out afterwards too! And then hang the cloth up until you come back to do it again, please don’t leave it wadded up on the side table.

These two things are noted on my list of how I want to be cared for...

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

19/03/2025

Anyone keen to head north for a visit ?

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-03-18/woven-coffins-sustainable-death-ritual-alternative-using-weeds/104995298?fbclid=IwY2xjawJHQ_NleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHVV83iE3mD7fxQ-qxLHTZ9ldpWOh6SnzsSOMT2gvzotK3_xzUlaS8WP5zg_aem_UzqfiWTXEvUPf4vzyVTi3Q

Coffin weaving workshops teach people how to make an alternative to traditional wooden caskets to suit their loved ones while helping the environment at the same time.

19/09/2024

https://youtu.be/gQVC-8WEB7s?si=XAGxKZ7WOsUgfDR1
Have a listen to this its an interesting thought on things.

As a world leader in managing the care of very sick people, Ken Hillman’s breakthrough methods of treating critically ill patients have become the gold stand...