12/10/2019
•Trauma changes you
•Life experiences change you
•How you were brought up changes you
•Fear changes you
•If a parent left you or they treated you badly, that changes you
•Death changes you
When you have suffered trauma, any sort of abuse, abandonment, extreme fear, inconsistent parenting, a parent leaving you when you were young etc, your brains pathways change.
You become hyper vigilant. You are always ready to either fight, run away or freeze. Your body learns never to relax. Your nervous system is on alert 24/7.
You can have a low sense of self. You may even loath yourself. You may say things to yourself like “If my parents couldn’t love me, then how can anyone else love me. I am unlovable.”
You start to think about life as something you have to survive instead of something to be enjoyed.
You are suspicious of people and people may call you negative.
You find trusting someone almost impossible, even though you may want to.
You expect things to go wrong in your life.
If things go well you tell yourself that it will not be long before things will go bad again.
You forget what happiness is.
You don’t trust it.
The world can be a very scary place when you have no one you can trust.
There is ‘hope,’ luckily our brains pathways can change.
When a person finds unconditional love/care, support and understanding, they start to trust.
They will test this love, to see if the person will hang around or will they go too if they see the real you.
When a person is really loved and cared for, their brains pathways will start to change.
They will start to feel safe for the first time in their lives.
Their brain can then start to see the world differently, they can start enjoying things, they can start to experience pleasure, they may have moments of fun, maybe even laughter.
As time goes on, their brain plasticity will change. Instead of instantly being suspicious, judgmental and negative all the time. They will start to see things in a more positive light.
They may be more accepting of others, calmer. They will not get as irritated and angry as quickly or as often.
They will see situations differently.
Remember that people who have been through a lot, will think very differently about life than you do. Their brains are wired very differently to someone who has had an easier life.
So don’t judge others when they write a comment or they say something that is completely different to how you think.
“Until you have walked in my shoes, do not judge me.”
