14/03/2026
How do we manage when our child will only accept food from a specific person or a select few people?
Well, I can assure you it can definirely lead to problems.
My own daughter will only accept food prepared/cooked/ served by me.
At a push, she would accept it from her sister. But they would have to be exceptional circumstances.
This isn't her being difficult, stubborn or deliberately awkward. I am simply her "safe person"
Yup! Not only do they have "safe" foods, some people have "safe" people as well.
There may be only a select few people they can eat in front of, this can cause issues at school for many children and also at work for adults.
My daughter trusts me completely.
She trusts me to make any food she eats exactly how she is able to eat it.
She also trusts that I wouldn't tamper with her food (hide things in it) or lie to her about her food in any way.
I mean, I have been feeding her forever, so it makes sense that she trusts me.
It isn't that no-one else has offered to make something for her or hasn't tried to do something for her, but she doesn't have the same level of trust for them that she has for me.
I have been really unwell these past few weeks, and standing for more than a minute is extremely painful, so it has been challenging, to say the least.
She has tried really hard to do some things for herself, but gets overwhelmed very easily, which increases anxiety meaning she can't eat, so we have really struggled to get much into her.
It really hit home how heavily she relies on me for all nutrition.
I know many families struggle with this. I also know they are judged by others, as we have been.
"Well, you can't do it so she'll just have to accept it from someone else"
"If you're ill she either let's me cook for her or she'll have to starve" Yeah, she'd starve!
"She's just being difficult, she needs to realise you are ill and can't do it for her."
Yeah, she knows, she already feels guilty, don't make it worse by making comments like that.
It's tough! But what can we do?
Well, not a lot really. We can try to show others exactly how they are able to eat a specific food. It may not work, but it's worth a try.
Support them to be able to do some things for themselves, even if its just a snack.
This is how we have managed. More snacks that she can do herself has definitely helped.
I think the best thing to do is to encourage independence if possible. This feels as though its going to be the more effective way of managing their eating if their safe person isn't available to do it for them.
Anxiety can often get in the way of progress, so it's important to work on anxiety around food and eating to help with independence.
