24/03/2026
Entering the Dark
We slowly let the light fade to begin the darkroom process as night fell.
Earlier I had set up my room — laid out my clothes in piles for each day, created spots for my toothbrush, hairbrush, water bottles. Everything had to have a place so I could find what I needed in the dark.
Mikey had made me a special snuggly which we called “love dove,” and it sat on my bed providing comfort in moments where I was missing my family.
I also had a picture of Hannah and Mikey on my table, and it too brought much comfort. Even not being able to see them, somehow I knew they were there.
I also wore a special locket necklace, matching earrings, and a bracelet that had charms that Kris and the kids had given me just before I left.
At no time in the process did I feel alone or lonely.
I felt so many people with me and wishing me well, and I am so grateful for that.
I also knew there were 6 other people from all around the world who I was yet to meet, completing their experience — some doing 40 days, 21 days, and then 10 days like me.
I began meditating, my eyes adjusting, noticing sounds and thoughts of the last few days coming up.
I kept returning to the mantra — All-love — while trying out different positions to get myself comfortable.
The beanbag chair, a chair with a cushion under my feet, a mat on the floor, my bed with my back against the wall.
I noticed pretty quickly how the dark made me naturally want to sleep.
I was fighting sleep, but all I wanted to do was lay down.
I had to stay awake until 9pm when Yogi Ji and Patrick would come in and do silent Diksha in the dark.
Yogi Ji would lightly touch the centre of my forehead, then the edge of my hairline, then place his hand above my crown.
I could feel my body start to move back and forth in response.
He would then place a single fingertip down on the crown, and Patrick would then replicate the same thing.
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