Dr Emma Black, Clinical Psychologist

22/05/2025

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing pressure to have a baby, an abortion, or to keep a baby (regardless of your wishes), there are several things that may help.

1. Recognise and label it for what it is. 'It sounds like you're being pressured, threatened, or coerced into having a baby or getting rid of your baby'.

2. Gently explore what is wanted. 'What is it that you actually want for yourself and your future?'

3. Refer them to this blog on ways that other women have resisted reproductive coercion: townsvillepsychologist.com.au/resisting-reproductive-coercion/

4. If you work in healthcare:
a. Some women have flagged that getting asked if there is coercion to start or continue a pregnancy would be helpful.
b. Some women have raised that having a doctor volunteer and discuss non-detectable contraception with them would be helpful.
c. A small number of women (3%) informed that having their doctors ask them if their birth control was being sabotaged would be helpful¹.

5. Consider if reproductive coercion is part of a pattern of DV, and whether other services (such as DV support, or even just connecting with their doctor) could be helpful.

Being aware of what reproductive coercion looks like is half the battle. It's not just a partner wanting commitment or over-zealous family or in-laws. It's not just misplaced love and caring. It breaches your rights to make your family planning decisions freely, and is abusive - particularly when it is tied up in strong emotions and close relationships.

Every woman needs to know what reproductive coercion is.
No woman should experience this.

21/05/2025

Being pressured or coerced to end a pregnancy is distressing for any woman.

Recognising the manipulation involved means you can start to decide what it is that you really want.

Women have resisted these sorts of tactics to end a pregnancy by pretending to attend family planning clinics or their doctors to access an abortion - then secretly leaving¹.

If you want to keep a pregnancy and your partner is pushing you for otherwise, then accessing support outside the relationship is necessary. Talk to your doctor. Talk to supportive family and friends. Talk to a counsellor. Talk to DVConnect, or your local domestic violence service.

20/05/2025

Not all pregnancies are intended or wanted.

Being coerced to start, keep, or end a pregnancy is abuse, and it affects 5-13% of women aged 16 to 29 years¹.

Recognising the signs of what reproductive coercion to keep a pregnancy looks like is the first step in protecting yourself.

One of the ways that women have resisted coercion to keep an unwanted pregnancy has been accessing a termination against their partner's wishes¹, whether this is done openly or secretly- and presented as a miscarriage. This, however, requires women to be clear on what they want for themselves and their future.

Not all reproductive coercion comes from a partner. Sometimes, your family, in-laws, or friends can set expectations and pressure that you will continue a pregnancy.

For women who are unsure about a pregnancy, and experiencing pressure to continue it, this is where talking to supportive, neutral people can really help. Get to your doctor any way that you can to talk through all your options. Talk to people you trust to support you, regardless of what you choose. Seek advice from a counsellor, therapist, or someone trained in pregnancy counselling (by the way, that's me). Talk to DV services if you need this. Do whatever you need to make your own mind up, and develop a plan to resist the coercion.

19/05/2025

Reproductive coercion is when people interfere with your decisions about whether to have a baby, or not. It's when someone else coerces you to become pregnant, keep a pregnancy, or end a pregnancy - regardless of what you want. All women need to know about this, so you can recognise the signs.

Reproductive coercion is serious, life-changing, distressing, abusive, and can be traumatic.

Every woman deserves, and is entitled to, the right to freely decide for themselves whether they want a baby or not.

Some of the ways that women have resisted coercion to conceive include¹:
- Using birth control that is invisible or hard to tamper with (such as depot injections, intrauterine devices, or Implanon);
- Hiding contraception or emergency contraception (i.e., the morning after pill) from their partner;
- Obtaining oral contraception from another country so their partner could not read the label to know it was contraception;
- Double-checking condoms prior to and during s*x; and
- Only agreeing to s*x when condoms are used.
- Lying about being pregnant.

Sometimes, coercion to conceive looks like commitment. Sometimes, women can feel like their partners are pushing pregnancy to deepen the commitment or ensure connection¹. However, it is not commitment, care, or respect unless you are freely choosing it for yourself, and this type of coercion often occurs when there is some type of instability present- it's a way of gaining control over you.

13/05/2025

My kids have been contributing to my book-writing efforts.
I'm a donkey, apparently 🤣

18/04/2025

To all the wonderful women who read this,
I hope you have a lovely Easter and long weekend.
Try to take some time for yourself over the weekend x
Kind wishes,
Emma

15/04/2025

Have you ever heard the expression about stopping to smell the roses?

It’s about taking a moment to appreciate the beauty in nature, or to relax for a moment – even when things are hectic or unhappy.

This may be a surprise, but there is actually a distress tolerance skill which is about literally stopping to smell roses- it’s not just an expression! It’s a self-soothing skill which uses the senses of smell and sight to soothe your nervous system.

When was the last time you stopped to smell a rose (or any flower) or something from nature? How did it affect you for just that moment?
(There are good reasons why we give bouquets of flowers for celebrations and as condolences.)

Pick something (whether that is a flower, a leaf, grass, or something else) and pour your whole attention into noticing:
- What colours and shades you can see? Is there any change or variation in these?
- What shapes can you see?
- Notice how much space it takes up, and where it starts and stops?
- What can you smell about your rose or piece of nature?
- Is there any movement in it?
- Is there any sound?
- What does it feel like in your hands?

Kind wishes,

Emma

01/04/2025

After having a baby, there are many things that get in the way of being interested in s*x. With all of these barriers, no wonder women's libidos change.
It can be hard to articulate to a partner why things have changed; these lists may help articulate it, and identify what needs to be addressed (if you so desire).
It's also common for women to experience s*xual difficulties after having a baby. We also know from the research that many women do not seek help for these type of s*xual difficulties after having a baby. However, if you do experience symptoms, then seeking help is key. It might be your wonderful GP, a women's health physio, an ob/gyn, or your birth practitioner that you talk to about these challenges and how to recover from them.

Kind wishes,
Emma

31/03/2025

Let's just pretend that taking a photo in thigh deep water is a totally normal thing to do 🤣🤣

Credit to my husband, the unexpected photographer.

31/03/2025

Hello!
I'm now able to take on new clients.
It's also good to know that I am focusing on perinatal challenges - this is where my heart is.
Kind wishes,

Emma

20/03/2025

Imposter syndrome can be debilitating, and particularly affects women.

Read this validating take on it, which explains why it can affect women so strongly:
https://townsvillepsychologist.com.au/imposter-syndrome/

It's not you - it's what you've been exposed to.

Kind wishes,

Emma

22/07/2024

Coming home with a baby can be wonderful - and challenging.
Sometimes, it can feel overwhelming or hard to cope.

Having coping thoughts can sometimes help you get through those overwhelming moments, and I've made a free resource to help you cope when your mind throws the negatives at you. You can find it here: https://townsvillepsychologist.com.au/offerings/

You can get through, mama.

Kind wishes,

Emma

Adjusting to Motherhood: Coping Statements You have your baby. You get home. And in amongst the sleepless nights and new responsibility caring for your little person, a small voice in the back of your head questions your ability to look after baby. And when the going gets tough, the voice can get LO...